Better blowjobs and you (and vice-versa)

In My Humble Opinion
41

I’ve only given a blowjob to one man who ever admitted to being with other men and I, the woman, “won”. I thought first he was just saying that because he didn’t want me to get pissy but A) he knows that’s not really my style and B) he actually had rationale for it. For him, I was more about him enjoying himself and it feeling good and whatever; my goal was not for him to get off (though that would have been fine, too), my goal was for him to feel good. With the man, he said, it seemed he was only interested in getting him off ASAP and, for this guy anyway, goal-oriented oral isn’t the best.

So that’s my suggestion. Make it less about getting him (or her; I know I don’t like goal-oriented oral much either) off and more about him enjoying himself.

As for communicating about technique and whatever, Ben and I talk about sex the same way we talk about this week’s grocery list or what movie we should see. It’s just a conversation. I never talked about sex with men in my early 20s because it seemed to cause more trouble than it was worth, but now I wouldn’t be able to be with somebody who got defensive or offended if I tried to discuss my interests/his technique with him. For me, it shows a complete disregard of me and my wants and says “I don’t care about what YOU like. This is about ME.”

42

It’s a complex subject. As a man, fellatio is extraordinarily exquisite but I realise that not all women care to do this. Its important to be as clean and fresh as possible so that the possibility of enhanced sensuality is a pleasant option for my partner.

Some women (in my very limited experience) are not intuitively at ease with sexual acts. I’m sure this is even more true of men. :smiley: Whatever, the person is important, not the performance.

I’ve always viewed oral sex as a privilege because it is intensely intimate and involves trust. I don’t think it can ever be bad.

Anyway here’s a link on the subject http://www.sexuality.org/l/sex/oralsex.html

43

I was going to start a thread about this but figure this is a good as any place to put this question.

How do you get over him coming in your mouth? I love giving head but wimp out at the climax because, I’m not scared per se but apprehensive of taste and/or volume of come in mouth, I just don’t want to choke or embarrass myself, he says he doesn’t mind and I finish with handjob but I really want to BJ all the way to the end. BJ is a verb now.

Any tips? Oh, sorry if this is seen as thread hijacking but how many sucking cock threads can you have in a forum anyway? :slight_smile:

44

Acorns - cum is an acquired taste, you don’t go from virgin to gargling with the stuff in one go. A good way to go is get acclimatised to it. Just as he’s about to blow pull it out and let it go over your lips and chin (no worries about it going in the eyes then). Lick some of it up, get used to it, start associating what you’re doing with a sexy act - I’m willing to bet he’ll love what he’s seeing too.

Over time you can start to take in more, then move up to letting him cum in your mouth but pushing it out with your tongue onto his cock and just leaving some in to swallow, and so on and so forth until you’re happy to take a whole load and swallow, if that’s what you really want.

I think I speak for a lot of guys when I say that it’s not essential that the blowee actually swallow, but that they let you cum in the mouth because it feels fucking awesome. If you really don’t want to swallow that’s okay just don’t spit it out like it’s toxic seconds later. That’s a) rude and b) not very nice to have to see after you’ve just cum, it basically makes you feel like you did something bad.

45

I just wanted to jump in here with two things that my husband really REALLY likes, both as a tip for those looking for new things to try, and out of curiosity if other guys enjoy this too.

  1. Licking the crease between his scrotum and his thigh.

  2. When I first get started, just long enough for his dick to be wet with spit, pulling it out and blowing gently on the head.

46

Re: the swallowing thing- if you don’t like the taste of it, take him as far back in your throat as possible. You won’t taste a thing.
Or so I’ve been told.

47

Just say you’re doing a tribute to Danny Thomas by doing a spit-take.*
*I think this joke should be credited to PJ O’Roarke, but I’m not sure.

48

For me, and I might be strange in this, it’s actually easier to swallow if I have the penis well back in my mouth when he comes. Not all the way deep throating, but past the hard palate. I don’t taste it as much, since most of the tastebuds are in front, and I don’t sense the “pulsations” as much.

I swallow about 90% of the time, even though I don’t particularly enjoy the taste of semen, although my current partner’s isn’t so bad. But men vary considerably. I had one fellow whose semen burned, and every time I swallowed, I’d end up with a sore throat for a week. Not fun.

When I *really *don’t want to swallow, a nice porn starlet moan of “Come on my tits!” or something like that makes it dirty enough to still be more fun than a mere handjob. And knowing that I have that “out” makes me feel less apprehensive as the moment nears, so most of the time I decide to just go all the way.

49

A friend of mine once suggested having a carbonated beverage close at hand. She said that it was really effective at cutting the taste, and it’s not terribly offensive to grab a cold drink after bedroom hijinks. Personally I’ve never felt the need because I don’t mind the taste (to me, it’s just slightly salty and otherwise non-offensive) but if it bugs you, that might be an option.

50

Wait a minute…you want it served hot with a foamy froth AND with some cinnamon sprinkled on top? 'Cause I can’t see a powdery catheterization helping anybody.

And I’m sorry, but pumpkin-seed & fennel is just Right Out…

51

Keeping a drink nearby is a sensible idea.

It’s not so much the taste more the amount, there is a lot of cum with one I’m with, also it is burny hot like WhyNot’s old flame. It felt so hot the other day (this was on my foot by the way) that I imagined it dissolving my skin like Alien blood. I have a sensitive gag reflex unfortunately, so when I give head I get it in as far as I can anyway, I make up for lack of cum in mouth with lots of tongue action over cock and he likes it sloppy so Illuminatiprimus’s suggestion of letting the cum drool out of my mouth is a good idea and on the plus side a hot idea, that way, no spitting and also not too much cum in mouth.

52

"If you’re interested in joining us at any of these venues, cum on by and get blown away by our friendly staff… "

Subtle!

53

Thanks a lot, WhyNot. One quick innocent peek at this thread, and now any time anyone on the dope is surprised/annoyed, in my head I’m going to be saying “Oh look it’s the ‘Goddamn it, you cam in my friggin’ EYE!’ Smilie.” Then it will take me five minutes to remember what the post is about. Thanks a lot.

54

Uh-huh…and tell me, dear. How does one have a “quick innocent peek” at a thread with “blowjob” in the title? :dubious:
:smiley:

55

Well, if you open your eyes for more than a peek you’re going to wind up like this: :smack:

56

Uhhhm… then what am I supposed to do? Hold his load in my cheeks until the appropriate time has passed so he doesn’t feel like a piece of shit? Exactly how much time should pass?

Some other tips:

• Breathe through your nose. This helps with the gag reflex as well.

•Testicles are nature’s way of saying, “Put your other hand HERE!” Listen to nature.

•“Balls in my mouth” Don’t forget those guys. They like attention too.

• Shower blowjobs are really nice and the water helps in case you have dry mouth.

•Some men really like to look down at you while you’re sucking them off. I’ve yet to meet a man who wasn’t turned on by him standing, me kneeling on the floor in front of him. It makes them feel all powerful or something.

•I understand that giggling, humming, or moaning produces vibrations from the vocal cords that feel pleasant on the penis. I wouldn’t know; don’t have a dick, but I seem to get positive feedback from that.

I tend to use BJs as foreplay because I hate to waste a good hard on that I don’t get to benefit from. Look, he’s up! I’m ridin’ that thing, BJ or no.

I do not like to give blowjobs after vaginal penetration. Sorry, but I’m straight and I just don’t care for the taste of pussy, especially my own. I explained this once and my BF got up, washed his dick, rinsed out his mouth, and came back to bed with an expectant grin on his face. I obliged. :cool:

And now, tips for cunniglingus:

•The only thing that’s important to me, really, is that a steady pressure and rhythm are used. If you change placement of tongue (after you’ve found the sweet spot) or change rhythm, I have to start all over again. For many females, we have to build up to orgasm (maybe everybody? I dunno). If he has found the pace, pressure and rhythm that’s hitting all the right notes for me and changes that, I go from “right there” to “aw, start over”.

•Shave. Please Stubble hurts.

• YMMV, but I don’t like to get off that way. I prefer to have a dick inside so I have something to clamp down on when I finally make it to orgasm. For me, that is the entire point of sex; the clamping down part. That’s what satisfies me. So, if you’re going to get me all the way off orally, then insert a couple fingers for me so I have something to clamp down on. I’ll let you go when the screaming stops; no worries, you won’t have to gnaw your own hand off to get it back. :wink:

• Oh, and cut your nails. Nothing kills the mood faster than having your delicate girly bits sliced to ribbons by some careless jerk’s long-ass sharp fingernails.

•If you manscape, I’ll be happy to mow the lawn and trim the hedges myself. I prefer it that way, but I understand that nobody really wants a mouthful of muff.

•That alphabet thing? I don’t know if it really works or what. I would think not, because placement of tongue, pace and rhythm would change with each letter. Might be an interesting sensation and feel good, but probably not consistent enough to get me off. I’m not aware if anyone has tried that on me.

57

I’m a very enthusiastic BJ giver, but I am not a fan of the taste of cum. So I just kind of open my mouth the tiniest bit so it can run out at the end. Then I go grab a washcloth and clean up that way.

58

I’m old and non-functional anymore. I wish you guys wouldn’t talk about this stuff. I wish I could resist reading threads like this. I wish the desire had disappeared with the ability. I wish I were ever so much younger. I really really wish I had appreciated everything so much more.

59

There’s no need to be facetious. Of course spit it out soon if you don’t like the taste, just don’t immediately retch it back out as if you thought it was going to kill you whilst making a face. It’s more about how you do it than how quickly. Like I said, the letting it drool out is the considerate lady’s way of spitting.

60

Serious question: have you talked to your doctor? There are times when erectile dysfunction drugs really are wonderful. Many of them can be used, at least occasionally, even if you’re on antihypertensives (wonderful drugs, but they often cause ED), but only your doctor can tell you for sure.

And…do you still have sensation? My partner, an older gentleman himself, can’t maintain an erection for hours like he used to, but if I keep going with oral or hand, he still feels good, and can achieve orgasm even though he’s not hard. Sometimes it takes a while, but most of the time we get there. So don’t assume that because you’re not hard you won’t come.