I was working away on Mr. Rilch this evening, and finally raised my head and said, “What is so great about this?”
“Well, the way you’re doing it, not much!”
I don’t know what I should do that I’m not. I put it in my mouth, try to keep my teeth off it, and move my head up and down. I figure there must be some technique beyond that, but even watching porn hasn’t given me any clues. 
I am not touching THIS with a ten foot pole.
Well, massage it with your mouth. Make sure you lubricate it with your saliva. You should use your hand at the same time. When you take breaks with your mouth, keep going with your hand. Use your tongue. Work the underside near the head with your tongue and hand.
Sounds as though you have a decent place to start from. Teeth are generally not a good thing. Enthusiasm is a good thing though.
First of all, make friends with the penis. And his buddies, the balls. You should be able to relax somewhat, and enjoy yourself. Mr. Penis is not made of glass and can stand some suction. However, he’s not impervious to pain so play with the amount of suction until you get a happy sigh out of Mr. Rilchiam. I usually try the “grind the head of Mr. Penis between the roof of my mouth and the back of my tongue” to create some nice friction. I also tend to drool somewhat so my hands get some lubrication and can come into play. It’s a lot easier to let my hands caress and lightly massage the balls or stroke the base while I concentrate my mouth on Mr. Penis’ head. I also like to do small rolls(? not sure if that’s the right term, hope you get my meaning) with my head to kind of create small 1/4 circles with my mouth while I am drooling, sucking and pressing. (Hands are also nice, if you need a break to say, swallow or breathe normally for a moment).
I’m sure others, including men[sub]or I’m hoping anyway,because I will always take some pointers, too[/sub] who have been on the recieving end, will offer more advice with this endlessly fascinating subject. 
And yeah…I do believe I am officially drunk. Sorry if I was too graphic for the forum.
A pearl to ye:
Are you kidding me? After a response like that, I would think the question would be moot. He don’t like it, he can do it himself.
Swallow!!! That’s important!!!
Right? Or have the rules changed?
No, the rule is not to be a jerk. I don’t see nothin jerky about this thread.
As for the OP, the best advice I can give is to ask your husband himself what he likes. My technique may work for my man, but your man may hate it. Talk to your husband and have fun experimenting 
Fran
Well. . . like Sue Duhnym I try to keep my ten foot pole (somebody put one of those “you’re so full of shit, eyes rolled up” smilies in here for me, please) out of discussions like this, but. . .
The poster (Tequila Mockingbird, I believe) above just about said it all, though there’s an infinity (sideways 8, ya know) motion that’s cool, with Mr. Penis (:)) being exactly in the center where the lines cross.
Is this really breaking the rules? Shit if so, then a third of the threads on the board will have to be deleted, hell, one of my e-mail friends’ post count will drop to about 8 if so. I am Claudia, dammit!
Anyway, I mainly came to say this: I have never received a bad bj. Yes, some have been better than others, but My God, it’s such an intimate act, one showing (to my way of thinking) such a selfless desire to please that to so cavalierly dismmiss and debase your partner as Mr Rilch has done you is base and cruel, and simply beyond the pale.
As others have said, let him use his hand from now on.
Jesus, sometimes I really hate some of my fellow men.
Sir Rhosis
Well, I’m not sure I can compete with the Vice Guide, but as the lucky partner of a past lover who was skilled, I can give some advice I didn’t notice on a quick scan of the Guide.
1 - Want it. It’s much more fun for the guy if you appear to relish it. If you don’t really enjoy it, but want your man to get off, then pretend you enjoy it. Mumble “Mmm Hmm.” Gasp when you come up for air. Do the full out, balls to the wall, “I’m a vampire and I’m intent on draining you dry” act. Go for an Oscar. He’ll eat up every second of it.
2 - Eye contact. Very important. Particularly when leading up to his climax. Lock eyes with him and he won’t be able to control himself. Especially when combined with #1.
3 - Maximum surface contact. Touch as much of him with as much of you as you can. Teeth excluded. But use your tongue, the roof of your mouth, the back of your throat, as much as you can make contact with at once. (The worst job I ever got was from a woman who just sealed her lips around it and wouldn’t make contact anywhere else. She was only doing it as a birthday favor anyway, so I just told her to stop and come snuggle. She was very relieved. And a much better snuggler than fellator.)
4 - Hands. Use your thumb and forefinger and get a strong grip behind both his penis and testicles. Don’t jerk it, but take extra care to apply pressure where the top of the shaft meets his abdomen. This has the effect of restricting the flow of blood out of his penis, helping to assure he has a rock solid erection. Save your other hand to massage his glans if he climaxes so that you don’t have to do it with your mouth. (Unless you want to.)
5 - If he climaxes: Don’t stop stimulating him! Use your hands, or your breasts, or something. It helps if you can find out ahead of time exactly what spot on his penis he likes stimulated to achieve climax. Every man has a spot, or two…
6 - If you want to deep throat it: It’s easier from the 69 position. Stick your tongue out. The gag reflex is somewhat supressed in the early morning hours. Finally: it’s not really necessary.
7 - For Advanced Fellators Only. Put two lubricated fingers in his anus, palm up. Find his prostate. Massage it. When he ejaculates, try and time it so that you apply pressure right at the end of each spasm. Do it right and you’ll have made a devoted worshipper for life.
Wow. Time to go wake up the girlfriend!
After that response, I suggest not doing for oh…say 6 months or so. Then, I suspect, he’ll be much more appreciative and supportive.
Might I suggest, retractable (sp) teeth…never been a favorite with boyfriends because of my damn teeth. Okay translation, my mouth is small, dicks can be big and frankly my teeth tend to get in the way.
< snicker >
Get him to tell you what he likes and does not like. Tell him to let you know as you are doing it so you don’t have to stop the ask him.
The most important thing I can tell you: Swallow! We do when we are doing you, so return the favor.
Also beware the dreaded 68: You do me and I owe you one. We never pay up.
Knowing what I know, liking what I like, and reading here what I read, I can safely tell you this:
Ignore everybody else here, instead ask Mr Rilch!
Every guy likes different things, they each have different levels of sensitivity in different areas of their bots, and on top of that it’s a case of when you do it as much as what you do. You don’t just go down and get busy, you have to build up the pressure and manipulation slowly, and know at what point to do that, and when to do this, etc etc…
Ask him, let him direct you, and try not to expect to get it right every time.
This is from my six weeks of extensive experience in receiving.
Some good advice here (if you’re actually going to continue to grace him with your attention after that remark, that is), but I am shocked…nay, shocked and appalled that no-one has yet suggested you email the only living expert on the organ in question…so I’m certainly not going to…besides, his advice only applies to the uncut. :eek: :rolleyes:
Juding from the OP, you are not enthusiastic about the process, and that lack of enthusiasm may be part of the problem (and may also explain Mr. Rilch’s cutting remark). For most of us guys, it multiplies the pleasure to think that the woman is enjoying herself as much as we are. (A polite fiction, I know.) Go at that thing like it’s an ice cream cone and you’re starving to death, and you’re halfway home.
Unfortunately, by now your husband already knows you don’t like it, so it may be too late to give a convincing performance.
I’m sorry but the only way for you to give a good blow job is to give one to me.
Just over two years ago LauraRae (now Ruffian?) asked the same basic question in Oral Sex techniques and got some pretty good responses.
OTOH, I’m also of the opinion that Mr. Rilch needs just a bit of an attitude adjustment (unless it just happened to be at the end of a long day of harrassment).
Attitude adjustment? How 'bout a foot up his butt? That work?
Sheesh.
You go, girl! You’re obviously intent on pleasing him, so more power to you.
I must say, this thread has been…instructional [sub]Bunny scribbles her notes furiously[/sub]