How do I give a good blow job?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Rilchiam wrote:

My, we’re all very quick to jump on Mr. Rilch for his insensitive comment, but how about this? Don’t get me wrong – it would have been better if he hadn’t responded the way he did, but look above at the first sentence in the OP. It’s not much better, IMHO. I’d say you both could have been more tactful.

That having been said, there’s some good advice from the other posters here. Definitely ask the Mr. what he likes, though – it’s the quickest way to get a valid answer. You could also pick up almost any issue of any women’s magazine – from Elle to Playgirl – and there’s about a 33% chance that it will have an article in it about how to give the perfect blowjob. They all run what is essentially the same article over and over, and it will cover most of what has been mentioned here.

22

Oh lovely. Rilchiam is a cutie, and now I have to sit here at my desk thinking of her giving a blowjob. :o

23

Can’t believe I am posting this, but . .

Provided you trust him not to gag you, let him do some of the work. I personally can’t stand to move my head up in down like one of those damn dipping glass birds. My neck get tired and I get grumpy and everything goes downhill from there. First, a blowjob dosn’t have to start with simulated “thrusts”–your face has this thing called a tounge that your vagina lacks. As long as you are licking things, he is going to get increasingly excited. Later, the urge to thrust will come, and as long as he can keeping from gaging you, let him do it. You concentrate on your hands and tounge.

Try different positions until you are comfortable: him on the couch, you on the floor, him up on his knees on the bed, you sprawled out on your side, him on his back, you on your side in the other direction. Don’t hesitate to get whatever pillows or wadded-up blankets you need to cushion and support you in whatever odd position you are in. Blowjobs are uncomfortable, and it can be miserable if you are getting a crick in your neck.

Try and convince him to make it an interactive experience. Now, I myself find 69 to be too distracting to be amusing, but having my husband rub the back of my neck, stroke my bottom, clear the hair out of my face when it falls (this is a biggie) makes me feel like this is something we are doing together, not something I am doing to him. i can keep going forever if I am getting a backrub out of it.

My husband is slow to come whatever we are doing, something that I like when it comes to intercourse, but which can get tedious when it comes to blowjobs. I get bored, and I get uncomfortable. Sometimes when I am not in the mood to be down there forever, or when it becomes apparent that this is going to take even longer than ususal (for example, when we have been drinking) we will sorta combine masterbation and fellatio. Most men can masterbate very quickly–face it, you know your own ‘spots’ and the exact right amount of pressure in ways that you can’t really describe in detail. What we do is, he will have his hand on his penis and strokes himself while I manipulate the head with my mouth (and find something interesting to do with my hands). This makes for a blow job quickie that is satisfying for everyone.

Once again, ignore the user name, look at this as an annonymous post.

24

By the way, in every conversation ever about giving good blow jobs, at least one boy sez, “and don’t do that stupid head-bobbing thing!”

What the hell is this “head-bobbing thing”?

25

<raises his hand while blushing furiously> I believe you are refering to the wrap around of just the lips, and then bobbing the head really fast trying to simulate a vagina… at least I guess that’s what’s trying to be simulated. You see girls doing it a lot in chessy 70s porns. ((Oh dear G-d I have said “WAY” too much.))

Like someone said earlier… you can’t just have lips involved… that won’t really accomplish much… well, at least AFAIK, not for most males.

Anyway, I think the best advice was given… and maybe I’m romanticizing it, but… “Be Passionate.” Nothing quite as erotic as desire and passion.

<still blushing furiously> What is it with me and blow-jobs today?

26

Um . . . I know dopers have some odd fetishes, but :confused:

27

Well, ya know Punny… nothin’ gets my motor runnin’ like a good opening move. :wink:

D’oh! That should be cheesy, not chessy, but I guess you could’ve figured that out huh?

28

I skipped this thread this morning, but…well, IMO, there is no such thing as a “bad” blow job, as long as the teeth are out of action.

Any man that doesn’t appreciate some action down there doesn’t deserve said action (this goes for you ladies, too, so pay attention.)

Enthusiasm, wanting to please your partner, is really the key. If you start doing something and they react positively, keep doing it. Whatever you do, don’t just go through the motions (I’ve never had someone do that, but I’ve heard stories, it’s not good.)

29

Altoids

30

Regardless of what anyone else says, you can use your teeth. Just very, very lightly. Don’t be gnawing on it like it’s a rawhide bone.

Try alternaing ice and coffee, too. Not on Mr. Happy–in your own mouth. Warm your mouth with some coffee. Swallow the coffee, then go down. Then cool your mouth with ice, and repeat.

And manual stimulation while enaging in oral pleasuring helps. Helps them, helps you. I like giving blowjobs. But sometimes my jaw really does get tired. Using my hands helps to make things a little easier.

The occasional seductive look while you’re down there seems to help, too. Those sexy looks let him know that you’re liking what you’re doing, and it’s a turn on.

One thing that I’ve done that some men seem to really, really enjoy is wear lipstick. Trashy red porn star lipstick. Some men find the look of nice, full, red lips wrapped around their penises immensely erotic. Of course, it’ll wear off (on his penis), but trust me–he’s not going to care. :smiley:

31

Out of all the good sugestions in this thread the one I agree with the most is that you have to show a great deal of enthusiam, and actually be enthusiastic at the same time (that’s the tough part). Of all of the women I’ve ever known (in that way) the ones that were the best at it were the ones that were really excited about it (yes, this has actually happened). But then again technique really makes a big difference too.

For example:
The girl I’m with right now enjoys giving head, but isn’t really enthusiastic about it. However, she’s getting much better because she is attempting to learn how to deepthroat me. Granted not many women can do this well, if at all, but if you’re willing to experiment I say give it a try. He’ll appricaiate it (I know I do).

Tyklfe

32

When I go down, I pretend I’m licking a bowl of ice cream. Try pretending that it’s a big popsicle. Use your tongue to tease him.

Maybe you could try doing it for just a bit, as foreplay, then move onto something else. The next time you try, spend a little more time doing it, and so on.

Oh, and I might be in there minority here, but I could care less if she spits or swallows. Just recieving something as intensly personal as oral sex is enough for me.

33

I heartily recommend Sex Tips for Girls by Cynthia Heimel which is very funny and has a chapter entitled “how to be good in bed”.

Other books by her:
When Your Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’ll Be Me
If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead Yet?
Women Are from Bras, Men Are from Penus

34

Thank you all for the responses! I’ve put off responding ;), but…

Re: my question and his response: That’s just the way we talk; I didn’t take it personally. We’re the kind of couple that I will drop a highlighter into his butt crack if it’s showing.

Sideways 8 is good. In fact, I was doing the “head-bobbing thing”. Apparently, getting instructions from porn wasn’t a good idea after all.

I’ve tried Altoids. Not just for his comfort but for mine. Part of the problem is that I don’t care for the taste of flesh, and mints disguise it.

Yes, I have read some of Cynthia Heimel’s stuff. “Do not laugh and point at the penile member.” My method used to be to take it in hand and say, “It’s very nice…I like it…” in a schoolgirl voice.

One thing Mr. Rilch doesn’t like is for me to touch his sack during the performance. He’s easygoing about Mr. Winky, but very protective of the boys.

Johnny, sorry I’m distracting you! Like Mr. Rilch’s sex ed teacher said, think of drain goop and dead squirrels!

We’re too different in height and build for 69.

My sig is eerily appropriate…

35

Well, there is your problem! You’re not aposta eat it!

Heehee, sorry. That really struck me funny the first time I read it. Carry on.

36

One word: Humm. Trust me, it works wonders. The Star Spangled Banner has an entirely different meaning to me now. :wink:

And watch the fingernails :eek:

<looking for a woman who doesn’t know the words to any song :D>

37

Rilch,

Since you explained that it was simply the way you two banter with each other, I apologize for my remarks about Mr. Rilch. However, any man who would say the exact same words in a truly derogatory manner would still qualify as a jerk. And Rilch’s opening remark (again had the remarks been serious and hurtful) in no way would be in the same base class. No way.

Sir Rhosis

38

Oh, no need to apologize, Rhosis, but thanks anyway!

39

Alright, he’s just taking all the fun out of it. I say tie him up and gag him so you can do this right. ;):smiley:

40

Aw c’mon! I used to 69 with a guy who was 17 inches taller than me!