have they arrived? (I assume those are the Little Li-Lis)
I saw the announcement on Facebook. Yay for safe arrival of babies! And here is hoping they don’t spend to much time in the NICU.
I am so very frustrated at work right now. Everything I have worked on for the past 8 months in this job I hate has pretty much ground to a halt/project has been stopped/we are not interested in persuing. Finding it even harder to get up and come to work for a job that I already hate with a burning passion. :mad:
I know first world problems and I am trying to work on it but man my attitude sucks.
**Yay!! Happy Babies!!! ** 
So if you were from Hawaii, they’d still expect you to appear? Whatta buncha assholes!! 
And yes, I’m here. I had a good visit with my mom. I taught her how to do batch edits on her various photos and how to upload them to photobucket. We’ll see how long before she calls asking me to help. My mom isn’t afraid of her computer but she gets freaked out easily. The concept of reading what’s up there doesn’t seem to occur to her. Oh well, she took me to lunch and I fixed the knob on her TV cabinet door, so there’s that. I’m glad to be home.
And I came home to this from my daughter:
[QUOTE=Fifth Grade Science Teacher]
When I asked what three particles that make up an atom are, the kids came up with proton and neutron quickly. When I asked for the third, one of my students responded with:
Wait for it…
CROUTON!!!
[/QUOTE]
Happy Tuesday!
Thanks, everyone! They’re very beautiful, for a given value of beautiful, which means ‘bright red,squashed, and covered in fur. And wires.’ Sort of a Darth Vader/Borg combo.
They’re breathing pretty well, and we should be able to hold them tomorrow. Until then I’m going to pump, sleep, and wait till I can eat again.
Yes, Bob, Mr. Lissar is a wimp.
So, Li-Li, when do you and **Mr Li **start on the next one? 
(g,d,&r,vvvf)
Here’s hoping you can eat soon, Li-Li. I’m sure you’ll be tired enough to sleep well tonight. I’m glad the babies are here and I hope their NICU stay is very short.
Yay for babies!!!
Hope Elizabeth and Miriam can come home very soon and hope your recovery goes very smoothly, LiLi.
So sorry about the stress, Kanga. And sorry about your pom, wiki.
Irk has been quite irksome lately. Have I mentioned that? Today, especially so. Am still counting…way past 10.
So…it’s time to go out for a walk, I think.
Back soon with extra hugs.
GT
Dindin was good. Now I want cake. There is no cake in da cave. I don’t wanna go out to get cake. My life is just way too difficult! Not Fair! sob
I’m pretty sure the doctor wants them to wait until she’s out of recovery…
Congrats, Li-Li!
I’m home from school. Hooray for that! Now it’s time to decide if I want ice cream or pop tarts for dessert. Decisions, decisions…
Congrats Li-Li!!
Nice pick on the names, espically Elizabeth!
Oh, Li-Li, congratulations, and happy baby-holding tomorrow.
I feel a bit embarrassed for posting that screed yesterday. It probably should have gone in the Pit. Yet, you guys are the ones familiar with my on-going psychodrama.
It’s a bit better today. Poor Mom. When she got home last night, she spent about two hours talking to Dad, trying to a) get his blood pressure down, and b) bring him to a place where he might possibly be able to talk to me without giving me cause for justifiable homicide. She sent him to bed with some Xanax, we talked for a bit, and then went to bed around midnight. She was dead tired.
This morning? Mom got to have two crowns put on at the dentist and was scheduled to take Dad to another doctor half an hour after that work was done. When she called to check on Dad’s status - he was still in his robe and hadn’t eaten breakfast at 11 a.m. (it was a very good Xanax) - I made an executive decision, called the doc office, and rescheduled.
We finally got a chance to talk for a bit after lunch. Here’s what Mom had to say:
-
Your father does not exist anymore. Too much of his brain has sustained damage, too much of his mind is gone. There is a different person in his place, and unfortunately, he’s a very unhealthy person.
-
Dad admits to large gaps in his memory of recent events - he couldn’t explain to Mom what exactly our fight had been about, the sequence of events, what I’d said that upset him so much, or why I was mad at him.
-
Dad is confabulating (that is, making shit up) some fairly big chunks, refuses to be pinned down on it, contradicts himself, refuses to admit it, and is generally not partaking of this reality. The big one was him saying that he was afraid I would hit him. Secondary ones were that I screamed at him, everything was fine at the doctor’s office, and he still doesn’t understand why I’m angry at him.
-
Also, he gets really unhappy when Mom and I spend time together without him, because it means we’re plotting against him. Oh, and Mom and I both need to be in therapy.
-
But not him. He’s just fine.
The italicized parts are what turn my brain inside out. For my mom to come out and state that the man my father was no longer exists . . . I mean, I’ve been telling myself that quietly for a while now as a way to make his behavior matter less. She says it, and it’s now real. My dad is gone. The person in his place is a damaged, terrified, self-centered, alcoholic narcissist, and he’s going to get worse.
The statement he made that he was afraid I would hit him . . . I had a very visceral reaction to that. Pain. Betrayal. Humiliation. Anger. And finally just “that’s not fair”. But, you see, Dad (or, the walking neurological disaster now occupying my father’s body) is no longer bound by logic or normal psychology. He will say whatever is necessary to keep his fragile psyche intact. He literally cannot face up to just how much he has fucked up the end of his life.
So, the upshot is that . . . yeah, actually, I am going to book an appointment with a therapist. I need more emotional support, I need space away from my dad to vent, and I need professional advice on how to cope with his accelerating dementia. We’ve been very polite to each other. He’s actually trying really hard to be . . . not an asshole to me.
Mom and I are now at the start of a major re-write of priorities - stabilize his mood and health, find all his important life documents, try to rebuild communication with my half-siblings so they can provide some help and respite, keep my brothers up to speed, and find some well re-enforced C-clamps to keep my head from exploding.
{{{{Phouka}}}}
My Aunt had a similar experience with my Grandpa - she was the person there, who put her life on hold for 5 years to care for him, doing everything she possibly could… and was the person he always lashed out at.
I’m not a psychologist or anything (and I’m operating on caffeine and no sleep right now so maybe not the best person to take advice from), but I wonder if it’s like with little kids do with the ‘I HATE YOU MOMMY’ stuff- someone at that level of dementia knows something’s wrong, and wants to lash out, and they pick the ‘safest’ person to do it to. My grandpa was perfectly charming to nurses (especially pretty ones), and quite reasonable to sons-in-law; it was daughters that got all the shit, especially the one who was there most.
I hope it gets better for you soon- it did with my grandpa- towards the end, he just started being vague and nice to everyone (and coming out with some fantastic bullshit- including once telling me how he was executed, by sword, for the crime of ‘having a war’ - he never fought in any army, if you think that’s confused military flashbacks).
Oh, and CONGRATS Li-Li! (I don’t like pink, so I’m using the Victorian baby colour system 
)
Anyway. I’m still being broken- and am totally bored of being stuck in the house (it’s freezing outside, so I can’t even really go sit in the garden). I’ve slept so much over the last few days that I didn’t sleep at all last night, and I don’t really feel tired. I have no exciting news like babbies or awesome stuff; I think the most exciting thing that happened yesterday was almost winning on facebook scrabble.
I’m waiting for a ring from my doctor, who was supposed to phone yesterday about getting me back into physio, but didn’t. Bah.
{{{{{{phouka}}}}}}
Good Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffienatin’. YAWN ‘Tis a chilly (well, for here) 44 Amurrkin out with a predicted high of 70 for the day. No real big plans for the day. I am meetin’ OYKW for N.O.L. just cause we can and I’ll check out the grocery sto’ ads for any specials that I just can’t live without. Da cave is clean, all the yahdirk is done so it’s just bein’ a bear of leisure for a few days.
{{{Kanga}}} My dad had Alzheimer’s so I know a bit about what your mom and you are goin’ through. It really does help to remember that the person you’re dealin’ with is not the father you remember. Good on you for the therapy. It will help with findin’ ways to cope. Never worry about ventin’ in the MMP. We’re here for that, ok?
StickyBuns I don’t understand the dilemma of pop tarts or ice cream. One simply sticks the pop tarts in the nukealator to warm 'em up and puts ice cream on top. That’s the only logical choice.
Now I shall seek more caffiene and brekkie cause rumbly tummy is gettin’ real demandin’. Then I shall purtify, read grocery sto’ ads and decide where to go from there. Even in sloth one must prioritize.
ETA: Nuts hope you get in to see the doc today so’s you can get back to pt.
Happy Hump Day Y’all!
CRUNCH CRUNCH RATTLE RATTLE CRUNCH CRUNCH This is the sound of my mother eating Honey Nut Cheerios straight out of the bag. Good lord is it loud this time of the morning.
I know, big deal but it’s currently driving me a little batty.
Phoukaroo, I’m glad that you’re going to talk to a therapist. I hope it helps.
Swampy, where were you last night? I ended up having pop tarts and milk.
Happy half-past week, everyone! And of course, happy babies! to LiLi and Mr Lissar.
I have read but retained little, it’s been a hectic week so far as I was away for a long weekend and just feel like I’m still trying to catch up with myself. Anyway, nothing exciting happening here this week, but it’s only 16 days until I go to New York. Yay for holidays!
Blurf. I think I have a sick.
{{{{{phouka}}}}}
Up, dressed, and about to take the truck to my car guys for an oil change. Good times. Then at noon, I get my eyes checked and order new glasses. YAY!
{{{Kanga}}} - we’re here with sympathetic thoughts and good vibes at the very least, so rant on.
Chance of a dusting of snow today, so I expect I’ll have a fire going just to cozy up the house. And I’ll knit. Good times.
Happy Wednesday!!!
Happy Hump Day!
{{{phouka}}} - we are definitely here for you. Bitch away! I’m glad you’re going to find a therapist.
::delivers doggio some chicken soup through the drinkholder thingie::
PopTarts are gross. Jus’ sayin’.
Yay for babies!!!