Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?
Do you think this is true?
It doesn’t happen often to me, but just recently it seems like its happening again. Having met someone special, I have had to say goodbye at least for a few months. She has had to go abroad to put her family affairs in order, due to a death in the family. Its a love temporarily taken away, but it feels as bad as a love lost, and seems to have taken its toll more heavily than usual. It just seems to hit you the moment you realise you’re going to be apart for a while. Bummer.
I suppose I know that the answer is yes. This is more about airing my feelings than anything else. I feel like my emotions have taken an upper cut, and I’ve not been able to talk to anyone about it. I can sense a lot of sadness just under the surface and keeping it suppressed doesn’t seem to be helping.
[Just as a caveat, I have to point out that whilst I have loved and
lost, I have also loved and been happily married for five years and counting]
I’m pretty sure I was generally happier before I reached the age of seriously falling in love. The brief moments of exhileration are in no way compensation for years of tears and hopeless obsession.
I guess there are a few different situations:
Loved, was not reciprocated, forever heartbroken
Loved, was reciprocated, things went bad
Loved, was reciprocated, loved one torn away tragically
Of those, I’ve only experienced (1), and it detracts enormously from my quality of life. I have to say though that if my current
marriage ended up as (3), I would be better off having loved and lost than never having loved at all.
So:
Situation (1) - NO NO NO Not better to have loved and lost
Situation (2) - I don’t have an opinion
Situation (3) - YES, on balance better to have loved and lost
Yes…much bettter to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
You learn so much more being devoted to someone than having someone being devoted to you.
Love = Devotion, in my mind anyway.
I think I’m a better person for having loved and lost. I’m much more aware of other peoples feelings now I know how much heartbreak hurts. I’m also much more cautious with my feelings, and falling in love is a much slower process.
I have Loved (or now looking back reflectively, what I thought was Love) and lost many times. I’ve shed an ocean of tears over lost Love… but at the same time I now believe Life is a total learning experience. Sure, everyone can wallow in self-pity and hurt etc. - but one can actually take a step back and truly LEARN from the blows that Life and Love often give us. Without the hurt, none of us would ever grow into stronger individuals… individuals who are more in tune with themselves which in the long run will help you deal with what is “out there”… A romantic view of Love is a wonderful thing to strive for - but as time goes on - if you really analyse what it’s all about - Real Life DOES get in the way, also.
I’m certainly not being cynical, because I honestly feel I have now found Love in its deepest form… but the journey to find that, has been long and hurtful (not just for me, but for those around me).
However, Life is a huge learning curve… Embrace every experience you have, whether they be positive or negative… just take a step back, analyse and hopefully learn. That way the next emotional hurdle that is put before you, will be easier to deal with.
I’m only contributing as I am 24 hours in a scenario #1 and need to share. Hurts bad. Real real bad. But even when bleeding #1 has got to be better than #0, although I would have swapped for a #3, or even a #2.
Now have to spend the rest of the day cancelling the Xmas trip to see here and seeing if I can still get a ticket home to the UK. Don’t want to be here for Xmas with nobody around.
It was love on my side and, what? Exploring possible love on hers. Only took her three month apart to decide it was too difficult after all.
Watch it Jennyrosity I’m headed for the UK and on the rebound!!
