LOL…I know MissTake…I didn’t want to see it but it was like I couldn’t stop watching.
Kind of like Pringles…you can’t have just one.
IDBB
You realize, do you not, that there are two ways to read “stroked out” in that sentence. 
As I understand it, they voted beforehand on the answers. The HoH competition was guessing what the majority already voted.
Cervaise–you have such a dirty mind. Welcome to the thread!
IDBB
Okay folks. Here’s the deal. I’m so far behind on these things I’m following my own footprints, so I’m just going to post Wednesday’s update now. IF I get around to doing the first four eps between the current ones, I’ll post them offboard and put in a link here. So, without further ado…
Big Brother Update for 7/16/2003
We open at Front of the House (FOTH) and jump to Ms. Chen’s Sofa Den.
Julie is wearing pants. Alert! But they’re looser than last year’s were, so we’re spared the appearance of The Camel-Toe[sup]tm[/sup]. For now… Her blouse still looks sprayed on, though. And we can see that she has, indeed, been eating grown-up meals since last season. Yay, Julie!
We’re taken back in time to the last episode, when Norman…er, Scott, loses his marbles all over the kitchen floor. Chairs fly, chess pieces threaten, Big Brother beckons, and Dotty Scotty talks trash to the people who hold his chance at $500,000 in their pinky-ringed hands. Loon-boy holds a meeting in which he channels Patsy Cline, basically telling them he Falls to Pieces while they look at him like he’s Crazy. Okie Opie tells him that they think the Habitrail is the worst place for him, and Scott sullenly enters the Diary Room.
NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN!!! Bwaaahahahahahahaaaa! If I were them, I’d check the groceries for this week reeaaallly well… Oh, wait! They don’t get any meat because they messed up the food competition. Almost forgot.
We enter the House of today as Erika tries to make points with Robert (and vice versa) for game purposes. Lots of the usual “exes who have to make nice against their will” conversation (I’m sure quite a few of you recognize it). Neither one seems particularly sincere. (In this house?! Say it ain’t so!)
Dana talks about the importance of her veto decision. Other people talk about the importance of Dana’s veto decision. Jack tests Dana’s loyalty about her veto decision. Are we tired of everyone focusing on the ManTroll’s veto decision yet? (Note: I actually like Dana. Any use of the term ManTroll is purely in jest.)
Dana holds the veto meeting and, unsurprisingly, given the usual editorial deception on this show, is the first person in the house to actually anti-climax. (David is the first to do the opposite, as we’ll (literally) soon see.) Dana unnecessarily, given that he’s outgoing very soon, sucks up to HoH Opie by emphasizing her respect for the HoH’s eviction nominations. Later, Dana massages Justin (not that I don’t envy somma that…) physically and ego-wise.
David cultivates Amanda, now that Psycho Ex is out of the house. Actually, he cultivates and fertilizes Amanda. :eek: Opie gives them the key to the HoH room with the Vegas love den bed and they, well, ROMP! And believe me, as someone who’s seen the actual live feed footage of this segment, they were not Lisa&Eric playing. They were the real deal. I hope Big Brother provides condoms…
Cut to the live portion of the show, and Ms. Chen’s face appears on the (annoyingly shaped) plasma screen. I hate this portrait-proportioned thing…bleah. Julie asks Amanda if things have changed for her since Scott “left the house.” Translated literally, that means, “…was kicked out on his Prozac-dependent ass.” Amanda says that things are a bit more comfortable. I’m sure she was mentally adding, “…except for this almost foregone-conclusion eviction I have hovering over my curly black hair…”
Julie asks Alison a question about her boyfriend, apparently so as to deliberately trigger her chronic obsession with moaning about whether he’s still her boyfriend. Personally, if I were this chick’s boyfriend, I’d have dumped her for someone with just a little less angst a LONG time ago.
We have voting comments! We start with Michelle, whose comments, I swear to Og, were so incredibly vapid I didn’t even notice that I hadn’t made notes on them until the segment was over. I still have no idea what she said. I think I was sucked into the vortex on her neck. Next is Erika, who notes that Amanda could be more manipulative and dangerous than Jee. But, she notes apparently forgetting they’ve lost one, the men have a one-person advantage over the women, so… Jack is back in Black Ops terminology, thinking Jee could easily be a double agent. Double agent for who I have no idea. Korea? The Trilateral Commission? Jonestown? Is Jack descending into Nutty Retired Spook status? We’ll see…
Coming back from commercial, Julie introduces Jee’s girlfriend. JGF thinks she’s prettier than Jun (not that difficult a feat to pull off) and isn’t afraid of her. I don’t think anyone’s actually afraid of Jun. Afraid of her jiggling gelatin body parts in a bikini, maybe (oh, the horror of that image!), but not afraid of her, per se.
Alison’s boyfriend, Donny, doesn’t like Justin. He wants to smash his little body into a peanut jar. He calls him a little smurf. Hell, I’m getting hot picturing those two wrestling nekkid. In jello…what? Oh! Sorry… Alison says that her flirting with Opie is all strategy and won’t go beyond a kiss on the cheek. The girl needs an anatomy lesson because that thing with the lips, teeth and tongue? It ain’t a cheek, baby.
Julie interviews HoH Opie. Opie says that the X-Factor gives him an advantage, since he’s one of the exless. He hopes that one of the Original 8 (now 7) gets HoH next. I’ll bet.
More vote comments: Robert, that creepy James Woods clone, notes that Amanda is not playing the game. Justin says he wants to keep Amanda in the house. Someone’s lying somewhere…
Back from commercial, we visit some of the crew from last season. We start with Marcellas! Marc! I still hate him, but he is cute now that I haven’t heard him whine for a good 9 months. He now lives in L.A. and is modeling still. He feels bad about the things he said about Tonya. What about Jerry?
Tonya still lives in Las Vegas, but has found a new man. (Why do I get the feeling there’s never too much of a hiatus between men for Stripper Mama?)
Josh… shudder Josh posed… gag Josh posed for Playgirl!! (GAAAAKKK!!!) He lives in L.A. Interestingly, there was no mention of Mewwit. Hmmm…
Lisa! I really did love Lisa after she got rid of Fireman Phil and grew a personality. She also posed, for a slightly more downscale periodical, Ramp. She and Eric grew apart, had different visions of where their lives were going, decided to be friends, insert your personal favorite “amicable parting” euphemism here. She’s become very close with Marc. Honey, that’s a tree you shouldn’t even be sniffin’ under…
Julie talks to the nominees. Neither one was particularly surprised to find themselves on the hot seats. (Hmmm…the only non-whites besides a member of the Original 8) In final pleas, Amanda just says that it was a pleasure to meet them all. Jee has grown fond of everyone. It’s too late to suck up now, kids…the votes are already cast.
More vote comments: Alison likes Amanda. We’ll see. Jun wants to keep Jee, though he apparently makes her want to throw up. And vice versa, I’m sure. David says that Amanda is tuned in. We all know what she’s tuned in to after that night-vision interlude, honey.
And yet, despite the folks who seemed so nice to Amanda in comments…she’s outta there! The vote was 9-0. 9-0! Someone had a meeting somewhere in that house. This early in the game, you do NOT get a unanimous vote on a generally innocuous nominee without collusion. Amanda picks up her bags and walks out of the House. Child, that tattered denim miniskirt has GOT to go…Julie runs through a boringly typical exit interview and several junior-high-yearbook-level goodbye videos. Julie makes an enigmatic reference to only the last 7 evicted being on the final jury. Amanda’s father and brother have flown in from Chicago, which confirms that there is going to be no reinsertion from the early evictions this year, anyway.
Julie introduces the Head of Household competition. Opie takes up his throne as the others scurry into their isolation booths. This is a Hamster Trivia contest. Julie explains the rules somewhat confusingly. The object is to answer the questions as you think the majority of remaining contestants will answer them.
Question #1: Who does the majority think is funnier, David or Dana? It’s unanimous for David. No eliminations.
Question #2: Who has the better smile, Erika or Alison? The majority say Alison. Erika, Alison, and Dana are eliminated.
Question #3: Who would look better in drag, Nathan or Justin? The majority say Nathan (I agree). No eliminations.
Question #4: Who is more likely to use someone else’s toothbrush to clean the toilet (shades of Shannon!)? Majority say Jun. Jun, David, and Jack are out.
Question #5: Who is more likely to return a lost wallet, Jack or Dana? All say Jack. No eliminations.
Question #6: A tiebreaker. We’re running out of time.What is the combined weight of the standers in the last food competition? Justin and Jee both say 700 lbs. Both within the limits. Another tiebreaker.
Question #7: In days, how old is Amanda? Jee says 9000, Justin says 80,000(!). Jee wins HoH.
Personally, if I were Julie, I would have stormed into the house, grabbed a paddle, and beaten David over the head repeatedly. "I smack! said smack! don’t smack! raise smack! your smack! paddle smack! until smack! I smack! say smack! paddles smack! up! smack!
Who will Jee nominate? Will Amanda sue Big Brother for putting her back out into the world with her medicationless psycho ex-boyfriend? Will Julie continue to eat like a grown-up? Tune in on Friday…
w00! Nice. Very nice. Can I post about Friday’s show now or should I wait till Sat?
IDBB
It should be noted, just to make Justin’s humiliation in the final tiebreaker more complete, that 80,000 days is approximately 219 years, give or take a February 29 or two.
IDBB, you can post about any day you want. Discussion doesn’t have to follow the updates. Do try to be careful of spoilers, though, as some people tape and haven’t watched yet. I’m not probably posting Friday’s update until Sunday afternoon, both because of spoilers and because I’m not going to be around Saturday much.
I just want to thank TPTB for the footage of Baby Michelle (The Good Girl!) tossing her cookies following the food challenge.
And I want David out of that house so badly!
She ate Bambi!!! Pffffft. We have a freezerful of Bambi downstairs. Cry me a river…
I don’t want to step on any toes here, but usually in these things it’s considered open-season (no spoiler boxes required) after the show airs. If you taped it and haven’t watched it yet, you don’t open the thread until you have. Is that not the way we’re doing things in this one? Judges?
It was actually more a caution toward courtesy than a request for spoiler boxes. I hate spoiler boxes, personally. I’d rather someone put in spoiler space than put things in the boxes, especially if it’s a long discussion.
I actually forget whether we went free-for-all on spoilers last season…
Quiet in here…
Big Brother 4 7/18/2003
“Previously on Big Brother…” we see things we’ve already seen.
As we bluescreen in on Wednesday’s votes, Amanda’s name is on <b>everyone’s</b> lips. Not exactly in the way she’d find complimentary, but… David pleads self-preservation in his vote, saying he doesn’t regret doing it “but Jee should have left.” Jun says she voted for Amanda because she felt she couldn’t manipulate her. And I’m sure Jee is going to be SO pliable given how well he knows her…
Jack says that when he saw that the only ones left in the Head of Household competition were exes, he knew it was <b>not</b> a good thing.
Reactions to Jee’s HoHship vary, but Dana seems happy about it. Is Dana jumping ship with the original 8/7?
The Gang of 11 enter the Head of Household room, where Jee checks out his basket…erm…finds out what he got from Big Brother. A picture of his girlfriend Carmen is on the nightstand (yeah, good attempt at objectivity there, Jun). Jun starts to paw Jee’s stuff and Jee asks her if he said she could touch anything. “Jun’s going to have to watch her back now.”
Dana is pissed. Don’t worry if you missed it…she’ll be sure to let you know again eventually. Channeling Dilbert’s Camping Carl (and BB2’s Nicole), we get the “Woe is me! I work all day to keep everyone happy! I’m the only one who does anything around here!” spiel. Do all people with ridiculously active cleaning OCD do this? Just wondering.
Dana (apparently the star of our show tonight) sidles into the HoH to talk to Jee. It <i>looks</i>, for a moment, like there’s a Jee/Robert/Dana alliance we hadn’t known much about. But once Dana leaves, Jee doesn’t act like it.
Of course, if Dana were James Bond, we’d all be worshipping Blofeld now. The others are <i>not</i> fooled. So Dana has the Original 8/7 plotting against her. She has her “secret” “allies” plotting against her. Even if she survives this week, it doesn’t look good for Dana.
After the classic “night into day” Big Brother backyard time-lapse shot, it’s Make Fun of Opie Day! Diary rooms and general conversations recount the opinions of the other Hamsters about the Oklahoma Kid. Amazing how long that respect lasted once he wasn’t HoH anymore, huh?
The PB&J crowd are not handling the week well. Jun whines “My father did not come over in a boat for me to starve all summer!” Poor Jun. I never did understand the PB&J problem. I could LIVE on PB&J. shrug Whining pussies…
We have Food Competition! This is a mild variation of the gross food contest. The hamsters are divided into two teams, Red and Blue. I forgot to note who was on what, though, so I have no clear list of team members. There are five casseroles for each team. One member of each team gets one casserole and must identify the meat and the vegetable in said casserole. The possibilities for disgust are endless here, considering some of the available choices: opossum, crawfish, squirrel… Nathan goes first for his team and he just. can’t. get it! He futzes around for something like 3 minutes and finally figures it out (ham and cauliflower…the boy’s never had cauliflower?!). The other team is on their third person by this point. Michelle has problems…she can’t figure hers out either. Cutting to the chase, the Red team wins and the Blue team gets PB&J this week. And Michelle finds out hers was venison. “I ate Bambi!” She goes in and ralphs into the toilet, providing the world with a superb illustration of her purge technique. Dana (on the losing team) states, “I’m gonna get crabby!” I ask, how will they tell?
80s Flashback! The girls and Robert play Double-Dutch, which sets off that whole ungodly gibberish Weird Harold segment from the song in my mind. A deeba duba duba deeba… blah. Anyway, this segment isn’t about jumping rope, it’s about Robert. We get more meaningful shots of Robert and Erika. “No one thinks Rob is pretty.” Well, duh…he’s a creepy James Woods clone. “But he reeks…” I’m tempted, but I’ll pass. “…of self-confidence.” I’ve noticed that the most unlikely ones do. I don’t know how many creepy, half-finished-looking, craggy, not-terribly-attractive guys I’ve known who are convinced that they’re God’s gift to the human race. One of those weird evolutionary things, I guess. Robert states his self-love. Weren’t we putting together a CD about that here at the Dope? Erika says, “He knows he’s selling shit. But he sells it well.” The secret to all selling, from what I understand. Is it a surprise that Robert has the soul of a used-car salesman?
See Erika worry. See Erika clam up. See Erika passive-agressively pull attention to herself. See Erika unburden her soul to a near-total stranger. Oh! See Jun and Alison crawl around under windows like the Nancy Drew Junior Detectives’ Union trying to listen in on tearful Erika’s soul-unburdening. These people really are children… Robert warns that Erika’s tears are of the crocodilian variety…I’m torn between believing Creepyboy and believing Passive-Agressive Girl. What a superhero team this crew would make (see after the update…). Meanwhile, in the HoH-Cave, Justin and Jee plot against Erika.
We have tortoise! Cuff & Link (way to steal from Rocky, people) are the desert tortoises that substitute for the bearded lizards of last season. Erika takes care of them. I fear for these poor reptiles after Wednesday…
Ah! The sweet sounds of an old married couple fighting. Oh, wait. They’re exes. David and Michelle have it out about David’s put-downs. Michelle yells that he’s mean to her. And I can see her point, especially if the breakup wasn’t bad (as they claim) and they’ve remained friends. But David’s playing a role in the house and he can’t get too chummy with anyone else. I think that’s why he didn’t have problems sleeping with Amanda (her ouster was really a foregone conclusion…David’s comments about not going against everyone else’s votes proves it). There would be no complications for him. Similarly, he can’t be too friendly with Michelle. And to emphasize that they’re not being friendly, he’s making her the target of his humor. Of course, Malibu Barbie doesn’t realize this and takes it personally. Oh, for this girl to have as much brainage as boobage…
Jee plans to put Michelle up as a pawn against Erika. Michelle is upset. Does this girl take every single thing that happens to her personally? David more or less adds weight to my theory above by going to Jee and trying to get him to take Michelle out of the plan and put Dana in instead.
We have the by-now traditional pre-nomination ritual. Fake solemnity as the HoH gathers the keys. Fake contemplation as he selects two out. Have I mentioned yet that I like this wooden glowy box a lot better than the shiny metal one they had before? I do.
As the keys are pulled out, we find that the nominees are Erika and Michelle. I find it interesting that the HoH is being much more blunt this season about exactly who it is s/he wants to go. Last season most of the HoH’s were pretty neutral in their remarks during the nom ceremony.
We end with Michelle striking fear and trepidation in the hearts of the viewers as she declares that it’s “no more Miss Nice Girl!” Eek! I’ve seen more menace coming from a squirrel…
All right, how about we come up with superhero names for these idiots?
Nathan = The Oklahoma Kid
Robert = Creepyboy
Michelle= Bulimica
Dana = The Compulsive Crab
Jun = Ego
Help me out, folks!
May I just note that switching between Livejournal (which uses HTML) and here (which uses vbCode) is hell?
You left out Comb-over Man!!!
I was going to call him Senior Spook!
I like yours better.
I only saw part of one episode. I don’t think I’ll be inspired to watch without Miss Alli’s recaps. Has no one commented on the fact that Jun is a lesbian? (Or did I totally misinterpret what her “girlfriend” was saying?) jayjay pointed out that there were no gay men this year, but this is the first BB lesbian, right? The fact that her ex is a man adds another dimension.
Whoa. What?! Which episode was this, chula? I don’t think we’ve had any people from Jun’s background on yet, other than Jee. Are you sure you weren’t confused into thinking Jee’s girlfriend was Jun’s girlfriend?
Oh, shit, was that it? :smack: I wasn’t paying too much attention. Jun, Jee, whatever. My story line is more interesting.