Everything I’ve seen indicates this was in the very early years of their marriage. It came out of a piece written for Time in January, 1997.
iaccording ot the story i read a couple of days ago he still did it as recently as two years ago , but nothing was romantic was involved it was literally two extreme math geeks hanging out with each other doing extreme math geek things… like
“They were kindred minds as well as spirits. On a vacation to Brazil, he took James Watson’s 1,100-page textbook, Molecular Biology of the Gene, and they studied bioengineering together. On another vacation, to a Santa Barbara, California, ranch, she took tapes of Richard Feynman’s lectures at Cornell, and they studied physics.”
Heres the whole story
https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lifestyle-buzz/bill-gates-took-yearly-beach-vacations-with-this-ex-throughout-his-marriage-to-melinda-gates/ar-BB1gmwQa?li=BBorjTa&ocid=SK2DDHP
Where does it say that? The article it’s quoting is the one from 1997. Read it again.
I never really saw that in my parents generation. They just all stayed together. No major conflicts or fights. I never had any friends like that.
My ex called me kind. While she was divorcing me. I think she wanted more of an asshole. Also more of a doormat with no say. She’s got that now.
Honestly, some of the cliches about women wanting crappy men are true some of the time.
Jay_Z, I’m sorry for the pain you have faced, truly. But I do not think you are succeeding in making the connection to the Gates divorce. What elements of your own experience are you suggesting they share? And why do you believe that?
Melinda Gates initiated divorce proceedings because Bill was hanging out with Jeffrey Epstein.
( I’ve read the whole thread and I don’t think anyone mentioned this?)
I don’t think it’s going to be some “we fell out of love” deal. Like people were talking about here initially. Looks like it’s going to come down to sketchy behavior on the part of Gates.
IMO most marriages that end in divorce, what led to the divorce is the work of one and only one of the parties. That was true in my case.
The WJS article about it implies that she initiated the divorce when his relationship with Epstein hit the news. She’d apparently warned Bill that Epstein was sketchy back in 2013, when the couple “met him together”, but
Ms. Gates and her advisors held a number of calls in October 2019 when the NYT reporter that Mr Gates had met with Epstein on numerous occasions. Mr. Gates once stayed late into the night at Epstein’s townhouse, the Times reported.
Maybe she didn’t want to get dragged down into the Epstein muck with him? Maybe she learned the extent of her husband’s involvement from the papers?
That’s not the case in the vast majority of my friends who’ve gotten divorced, although i can think of a couple examples of that. … Even then, how do you count, “this person always had this character flaw, but the other party overlooked it in the flush of romantic love”?
But they were married a long time. Maybe it wasn’t until his character flaw made the news that she couldn’t live with him?
So Melinda Gates now owns almost 2% of CN Rail? (14.1 million shares out of 709.9 million outstanding)
In the case of other peoples’ marriages, we often aren’t privy to all that went on within the marriage, that led to its demise.
In the case of your own marriage, to say that it was all the other person’s fault may be accurate, or it may indicate that you are unwilling or unable to see what you did, or failed to do, to contribute to its demise (including, perhaps, ignoring red flags before the marriage).
The short of it is that I was Princess Di to their Charles and Camilla. So to speak. She wanted him and was willing to act on it. Short version, end of story.
Pasts matter. My past matters, my GF’s past matters. I’m never going to think I can’t be outflanked by some guy from her past. That goes to imprinting. Fact of nature. It’s a crapshoot, GF might stick around, might not.
My ex was actually evidently scrupulous in talking about her past relationships, seemingly setting up solid boundaries. In retrospect, I don’t know if this was all Spanish Prisoner type gaslighting to throw me off her current feelings. It may have been. The guy she left me for was “just a friend.” I met him a couple of times. He was breaking up with his LTR because he wouldn’t get married or have children with her. I know now that’s why the ex and him didn’t get together. Didn’t then. He disappeared after that. Until he came back.
A lot of people seem to think there’s always “both sides” to a relationship, that relationships are effectively 50-50. This is erroneous. Most relationships have a dominant partner and someone who’s more accommodating. My ex was the dominant partner. I would fight her on stuff. On occasion, I don’t really care to fight. Someone who knows me said that she wanted to fight more, but she wanted to win every fight. I think the guy she’s with now is more of a doormat than I ever was, so she doesn’t really want someone that stands up to her. She wants to dominate her relationships.
People don’t always want the same things in relationships. I found that out.
You can only vet so much. I’ve turned women down, wasn’t interested in going forward. If it comes down to something that happens 2-3 years into the relationship, just one comment or action that doesn’t match up with the rest, yeah, if you pull those actions out of the 99% of other stuff that’s going on, I suppose you can figure it out. If that’s the standard, I’d just quit trying. Which I have to some extent.
There are two people in the relationship. My ex was in the relationship just the same as me. I couldn’t do what my ex did because what my ex did was selfish, cruel, and abusive. Infidelity is abuse. I will continue repeating this until people get it. It’s abuse.
There are plenty of relationships where one person is abusing the other. Does the recipient deserve it in those cases?
I can unequivocally say that in the cases where the marriages I know that broke down because of horrible behavior on the part of one person, that person was absolutely, positively certain that it was 100% the other person’s fault. From the beaters, to the drunkards, to the serial cheaters, it’s always the other persons fault for either “knowing what they were getting into” or “not knowing what for better or for worse means”.
I mean I have had a co-worker whose ex-husband refused to recognize the divorce and threatened and stalked her. He was a cop and a Catholic (they both were devout) and both the police and the church took his side. Hell, so did her insane parents.
We were witnesses to the stalking and threats. We weren’t taking her word for it. He would park his car in our office parking lot and yell abuse and threats at her with his hand on his gun. The local cops (this was outside his jurisdiction) would first basically come and talk to him. Then they stopped coming altogether. She had a restraining order, but because of this “professional courtesy” it wasn’t worth much.
Not saying this is your situation by any means, but getting only one side of the story in a divorce is not going to tell you what’s really going on.
Typically in an infidelity situation, the cheating partner is on the attack against the betrayed partner. Angry at the person they are betraying.
That was true in my situation, although fairly mild by those standards. People who cheat feel justified, that their partner deserves it. People who don’t feel that way don’t cheat.
My ex was a good partner at first, but slacked off and became more narcissistic as time went on.
These factors play into the low success rate and satisfaction rate of people who attempt to reconcile with partners who cheated on them. Typically the betrayed partner takes a self esteem hit, while it’s hard to play down the lesson that the cheater cheated and got away with it.
I cheated on my first wife. I don’t think she deserved it (and didn’t at the time). She didn’t do anything “wrong.” In retrospect I shouldn’t have married her (or anyone at that point in my life), but I don’t blame her for that.
My husband’s uncle felt betrayed by his wife, who left him. And then he wouldn’t let her divorce him. Finally, after she’d lived away from him for seven years, she sued for divorce on ground of abandonment. Which wasn’t fair, since she’d abandoned him.
But having only heard his side of the story, i know that he was abusive to her for quite a while before she cheated on him.
Me, I’m always a bit skeptical of those who make conclusory statements about how terrible someone was, without offering any objective detail. Especially when they’re the ones who brought up the subject in the first place, so it’s not like they’re being put on the spot regarding something they don’t want to discuss.
Good for Bill and Melinda for not doing that.
and then there’s this meme that meanwhile the queen of Britain is single
Jeff Bezos is richer, and still technically single. You think HM could steal him from Lauren Sanchez? 
Stranger things have happened.
And welcome, tinytantan!