THIS thread. Preview, Swiddles. Preview.
Perhaps a public performance of the Vols fight song or another Tennessean song of your choice (the UTenn Alma Mater and “Rocky Top” can also be found at the above link).
Good ideas, keep them coming. I’m too drunk to judge the ideas right now, but in the morning, I promise I’ll look them over and decide.
We need something really evil…you can’t insult us rednecks and hillbillys and expect to get away with it!!!
Go VOLS!!!
Did I ever tell y’all about the time I met Peyton Manning and had no idea who he was? How embarrassing!
Must sleep, I’m going to have a hella big head tomorrow.
And I think he’s really concerned about finding himself a new bitch-master after tomorrow. I’d keep him, but I’m not sure it can work out, what with him insisting on sleeping in on Sundays and not taking my calls and all…really he needs somebody on the East Coast, it’s more suited to his schedule and all.
And really, all things considered he was a pretty good bitch, just not the right bitch for me. And he’s pretty cute too, one has this incredible urge to pat him on the head and give him a big smooch on the forehead.
Why yes, yes I would.
How 'bout “Come to Tennessee, they’re playing our so-ooo-ong”?
And that’s different from his regular Saturday night how?
Heh, we’ll need to find something really twisted for Twisty to do if he wants to get back into tater-favor.
Although I’ve been thoroughly warned about Twisty by tater, I could really use a bitch who’s on my schedule. Since he’s several hours ahead of my time zone and I work third shift, I could have a bright and shining bitch ready to do my bidding first thing in the morning. You know, a foot rub and nice breakfast before being tucked into bed…
Hey, my aunt is hopping over to Ireland next week for a visit, she could pick him up for me…she asked she could get me anything while she was there…So, how 'bout it, Twisty? Should I just tell my aunt to box you up and ship you off to the land of red eye gravy and country music? 
Cubby claims to dislike gravy, can you imagine that? What’s wrong with him!?!?!
And he now has, but my calculation, 4hrs. 13mins. to convince me he really, really wants to remain my bitch, or it’s off to the auction block he goes. If you want a Twistybitch, go on ahead and present your case here, don’t be shy!
He dislikes gravy? What in the world does he eat on his chips, then?
I have no idea! I told him I’d make him a good Southern breakfast when he came down to visit, including biscuits with (sausage) gravy, and he made a face. So, I’m thinking he thinks the combo is bizarre or has the wrong kind of biscuit in mind, but no, he doesn’t like gravy!!
Heh, if I still let him come over in the fall, we’re going to have to make him a big 'ol country-fried feast. Fried Okra! Black Eyed Peas! Ham Hocks in everything! Oh, and I’ll be sure to buy a new bottle of habanero Tabasco just for him. 
Oooh, ooooh, and hush puppies, can’t forget the hush puppies.
Dammit, I’m hungry now.
Yeah, we’ll make some cat’s head biscuits and serve 'em with apple butter! I make killer fried chicken, too! We’ll make some dumplings to go with it! We can’t forget to make a big ole pitcher of iced tea either! Some fried catfish, corn on the cob, hominy, soup beans and cornbread, squash, greens, potato salad, green bean casserole and finish it off with your choice of desserts: pecan pie, sweet potato pie and/or banana pudding!
Whoo-whee! Sounds like the making for a great Methodist covered-dish supper!
Sausage gravy? Fried Catfish? Cats head Biscuits???
Gals, are you all not supposed to be making southern food sound appealing??
btw, Where I come from, Hush puppies are a type of shoe…
Rachelle, that is just pure cruelty… but I like it
Swiddles, I’m sure there are guys on the board who envy me so much after that post… heh heh…
Tater, I feel like an older oliver twist. I can just picture you dressed up in victorian clothes with a bell singing “Bitch for Sale, Bitch for Sale”…just over 3 hours left!
I brought hominy to Ireland with me, nobody had a clue what it was. I was so afraid customs would question me, as I had an entire suitcase full of food with me…but after reading “Angela’s Ashes”, it was the least I could do for them!
OUCH - Stop hitting me Irish people!
And we’ll have to teach John to sing “Family Tradition”* on kareoke!
*[sub]In case you don’t remember, that’s the song that goes “Hank, why do you drink…”[/sub]
While I understand your initial trepidation about cat’s head biscuits, what in the world is the problem with the other two?
BTW, cat’s head biscuits are just regular Southern biscuits–they are called that because of their over-sized shape. Have you ever looked at the shape of a large tabby cat’s head? It big and kind of oval-shaped. Same with the biscuits!
What a wimp! Good think we didn’t decide to serve jowl and chittlins. And I’m thinking what I need to do is build me a genuine BBQ Pit Smoker and make us some shoulder and ribs. Maybe we could even deep fry a turkey! Woo Hoo! I don’t even care if Cubby comes, we are going to do this!
It’s a good thing I didn’t suggest brains and eggs or pickled pig’s feet!
Less than two hours to go until Cubby is officially on the block!
I’d try anything once… after all, I did try the Chicken King Po from a new chinese restaraunt in my area last night and now feel worse for the wear this morning!!
Hey, I won’t be here for the auction but I submitted my silent bid already in this thread. Does that count?
And now my former Cubby is a free agent. Go ahead, women, give it your best shot…I’ll miss him, but it would be wrong for me to keep Twistycakes all to myself. All he asks is that you bring him airport Toblerone every once in a while, and he’ll be at your beck and call. If you need any other hints on handling him, or details about his bitch-qualifications, ask away!