Note: I use Blacks as the example. But really, any minority would work.
Let’s say as a White guy I’m at a restaurant or a bar. Two White idiots sitting adjacent from me are talking racist crap. They aren’t talking directly to me but they are talking loud enough for me to hear it with out trying.
As a Black person (or again, any minority), what is the bare minimum you would expect or hope I would do in such a situation? (The “me” of course in this situation, being NOT racist.)
For a stranger? Ignore it. Jumping into the situation will probably get you in trouble; the best you can hope for is to have them call you an asshole. They are not going to listen to you.
If it’s someone you know, though, then you should say something about it.
As a straight white guy, I’d like to think that my gay/black/Latino/women friends would call narrow-minded people on their shit the same as I would.
Blind hatred is cowardly ignorance, no matter the target or the source.
I’m with RealityChuck: I’ll put up with total strangers, in the background somewhere, saying damn near anything. Freedom of speech, no matter how hateful…
If someone I’m with starts in, I’ll ask 'em to can it.
(I walked out on dinner once when a chap – a Rhodesian, back when there was still a Rhodesia – started talking crap about American blacks. I might have held my peace if he were talking about Rhodesian blacks, but when he started in on my countrymen, I was cheesed. I said something curt, stood, and walked out. Pity, too, as the food was really good…)
Thanks for the replies. For the purposes of this thread, please state if you are a minority or not.
Thanks.
“To remain silent and indifferent is the greatest sin of all” - Elie Wiesel
If I heard someone being disrespectful of women I would hope someone might say something. Preferably something funny. (Women aren’t a minority of course, being about 50% of the population of the world, but I thought it might still count.)
I try to say something, if I can think of something to say & if I feel I won’t get punched for it. It’s hard though, and I think I often don’t live up to my own standards.
I can see it going either way. I mean, what if those guys at the bar want to get into a brawl?
edit: Female/white.
Racism is something that almost seems normal after a lifetime of knowing it. We hear racist things being said about us, our family, or our race, and we get a sort of thicker hide for it after time I guess. I have friends who get angry and escalate the trouble after it starts, and I have also done that myself, but this approach never seems to end well. Racists seem to want to see us act out from our emotions, maybe because that shows them- that they got to us, and that might empower them all the more. Our elders try to set an example of ignoring racist comments, but it can be very hurtful.
If they are strangers, not talking to you or directly influencing you in any way? I wouldn’t expect you to do anything. Confronting strangers is a good way of getting yourself hurt or killed, and I’d hate for someone to do that out of some sense of loyalty to me.
If they are talking to you, that’s a bit different. But I still wouldn’t want you to put yourself in danger. If it’s a drunk guy sitting at the bar who says, “Hey, feller. What do you think about that nigger we’ve got in the White House?” I would expect you to say something clever but not so clever as to provoke violence. Just enough to say, “I don’t agree with you but do not want to engage in conversation, thankyouverymuch.”
To be honest, I wouldn’t want to hear about these kinds of experiences if I were your friend.
I know ‘it depends’ is coward’s answer, but it’s the only one that makes sense. (Gay female, FTR).
I have heard tons of homophobic bullshit in pubs - really nasty stuff, not just banter - and have backed down because it was just me alone or me and one other woman and they had lots of friends with them. The type of people who tend to say really fucking nasty things also tend to be really fucking nasty people. Don’t want to get raped and murdered, thanks.
A few times I have stepped up because the straight people around me were guaranteed to get my back.
I’m assuming this is a conversation that everyone in the place can hear - not just walking past someone saying something horrible within their group of friends.
I’m not sure I understand the OP, if I am understanding the question correctly it means:
How would you as a minority group member react hearing other members of your minority group saying racist crap.
Right? 
Just yesterday, a maintenance man came into my office. He sounded Australian to me so I casually asked him where he was from. He replied ‘Bermuda all the way back’. I told him that all of the people that I ever met from Bermuda were black and I didn’t know they had an indigenous white population. He closed my office door and proceeded to give me a history of Bermuda and how his family were some ship wreck survivors from the 1600’s and everything was swell until the native black population took over the whole government several years ago and now he can’t go back there because he can’t stand it anymore.
I could have kicked him out for being racist because it is my office but I don’t know much about Bermuda and he seemed to. I don’t think knee jerk reactions to racism helps anything other than force it underground. I will listen to what anybody has to say on the matter as long as they are articulate and non-violent.
You know who was also articulate and non-violent, right?
Why object to racism only for the sake of hypothetical black people? If people are saying something that offends you, then speak up on your own behalf.
That’s arguable. Articulate yes, non-violent no except personally. I don’t think most racists in the U.S. are up for genocide these days. I think I sound racist sometimes too despite being raised half black myself. I could talk about racism in the South all night long and how complicated it is. It is a whole lot more complicated than most outsiders perceive it just like I am sure it is in Bermuda from the man in my story. Unless someone is trying to round up a posse for an old fashioned lynching, I am always interested to hear their perspective. I can’t change them by shunning or standing up to them but I can learn something about how they think from listening to them to use later.
No. Basically, what I’m asking is: If I said nothing in the above situation; would a Black person, who is my friend, feel betrayed or disapointed?
Boss: We’ll keep the eggplants out!
Navin R. Johnson: Ah good! We don’t want any vegetables.
Con Man: Na, na. The jungle bunnies!
Navin: Oh of course! They’ll eat the vegetables!
Con Man: Boss, could I talk to him? We’re going to keep out the niggers!
Navin: The what?
Boss: The niggers! We’ll keep 'em out.
Navin: Sir, you are talking to a nigger!
CMC fnord!
Regular ol’ White guy
It depends on the friend I’m with. In the case of people that can intellectually handle it, I would probably just acknowledge what a douche that dude was. If I were with someone more fragile, I would most likely confront. I’m not usually afraid of getting my ass kicked, even though it has happened a couple of times.
I wouldn’t say anything to a stranger, although I’d treat them as a complete nonentity if we were forced to interact. Let the door shut in their face, ignore them completely. If it’s someone I know, I’m going to speak up–and have, on a regular basis. I can’t stop my friends and family from being racists (or anti-gay, etc), but I can stop them from using racist expressions around me.
I’m white, but I live in a rural area where there there are just not black people around. I am deeply offended by all the racist comments I hear on a daily basis. Not just on principle, but for the simple fact that people in this area simply have not been around enough people who aren’t white to have a clue what they’re talking about. I mostly just keep my mouth shut about it, because it’s just idle talk brought on by ignorance. I have heard some particularly nasty comments that I couldn’t let pass, though- like the time a black truck driver showed up where I used to work to pick up a load, and he had to load the whole thing himself, until somebody came and got me and said, “Go help that nigger.” I went to go help the guy and then went and got into a shouting match with the guy who said that that almost got me fired.