On Thurday K and I and a couple of her friends are gong to see the Blue Man Group. This includes the whole dressing up for the show thing and dinner. I am really looking forward to it. Then I am spending the night at Ks (Woo Hoo).
Now I do have a bit of an issue.
When K did the whole ‘let’s be friends’ thing I met another woman named D (not to be confused with L, the date from hell). Well, D wants to go out Friday night. We set this up a while ago, Ds Mom died and she had to go take care of that. D is now back and all that stuff has been taken care of and D seems very excited about the Friday date thing. Honestly, I am not sure what to do.
On Monday I went over to Ks before work. The original idea was a morning romp but K changed her mind, kept her daughter for the day and asked me to bring my guitar to show her daughter. So that is what I did. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Her daughter seemed to dig it, I let her bang away a bit on the guitar (making noise is fun) and we got along well. K made a couple comments the next day about how nice it was for me to let her daughter play with the guitar and how well we got along, etc.
K then made a comment that got me back to wondering what she is wanting out of this. K was talking about Halloween and said that she wanted to dress me up like an Elf. Followed a couple seconds later by ‘If we are still seeing each other then’. We have been making tentative plans for the summer (going to the lake, going to Disneyland) and it threw me a bit. When I was over on Monday we were in total boyfriend/girlfriend mode. She kissed me when I arrived, held hands, etc. It was general bf/gf stuff, pretty mellow, her daughter was there after all, but bf/gf mode all the same.
So I am a bit confused. When she made that comment I didn’t really say anything, just let it slide. I am not sure what she is wanting out of our relationship. I am not sure if a) she is concerned about getting serious fast or b) if she doesn’t want to get serious at all.
If you want to ask D for a pass, do so; if you want to go out with her, do so. If you can’t make up your mind, ask a coin. If the coin gives you the wrong answer, do the other thing. And stop shooting yourself, doing that hurts.
I think it’s the exact opposite of the way you’re taking it. I think she’s starting to think “LTR” rather than just BF/GF – but wanted to see how you would react to the idea. That, or she is also somewhat insecure (and, hey, who isn’t?) Or “All of the Above”…
IOW – Congratulations, you now have the power over your life in **your **hands – with all the consequent headaches the possession of power always seems to bring with it!
Does K know you’re going out with D Friday? Why are you going out with D Friday? Don’t wait until Friday to break your date with D, if that’s what you’re going to do…tell her today. Don’t give us losers in the game of love any inkling of hope…if you go out with D she’s going to expect that this might lead to another date, and another, so it’s better to end it now. And don’t go out with her and then break up with her during the date…that’s way too painful. Actually, you won’t be breaking up, because you’re not together, but still…let her down easy. It’s going to be bad enough when she finds out that she missed out on a chance with you because her mom died on the wrong week, so be gentle.
I may have missed a post or 2 about K and you, however if you just want random advice from people who don’t know you, might I suggest just asking her?
It seems to me you want a relationship. At the very least BF/GF and who then who knows? How can you know if it will be a long term one? You can’t. However you do have the right to find out what she expects from you, and for you to lay out what you expect from her. Namely no one else gets to put their weewee into her whohaw.
Or not. I don’t know how open you are.
Really though the best idea is to just ask. Unless you are under say 23. Girls and guys under 23 are not ready for the whole honesty no games thing (generally).
