Board performance problems

Rising board traffic (currently ~14M pageviews/mo) coupled with the increasing frequency of outages, error messages and other glitches has led the STM tech staff to conclude we’ve outgrown our current server capacity. We’re getting estimates and investigating alternatives and I expect we’ll upgrade once all the info is in. Till then we request your patience and apologize for any inconvenience.

In the meantime is there money in the budget to give the hamsters Red Bull?

I believe that currently they’re hooked on espresso made with Water Joe-Red Bull would be a 4 steps down from that.

Make the espresso with Red Bull then.

Hookers and blow then.

While blow would speed them up, hookers are going to tire them out (if we could even find hamster hookers, or for that matter hooker hamsters).

Bad idea. It’s only a lack of wings that’s keeping them on the wheel at all.

Do bulls (Red or otherwise) eat hamsters?

I assume Mr. Zotti’s remark refers to the notion of acquiring newer and better hardware. (Upgrade to 486’s?) Is it also envisioned to upgrade to a newer version of vBulletin? (Or possibly even to some other message board software, like phpBB or whatever?)

It’s time to get bigger rodents. We need capybaras powering the Dope.

Can’t speak for Ed but there’s no evidence that going much higher up the vBulletin ladder will be helpful – and there is some indication that doing so may even be detrimental to the speed and dexterity of the system. Doing more and getting less, no, that’s not a good idea.

Ditto going to other software. We’re traditionally the latest kind of adopters and that has actually not only served us well but also saved us at times. I would expect that to continue.

I agree with TubaDiva with regard to the risks and pointlessness of upgrading working software.

If you are researching hosts, URLJet are excellent vBulletin specialists, although not in the cheap host range. I would recommend them for any form of hosting.

Thanks for keeping the teeming millions informed, Z.

I wonder if any analysis has been done on the rising trends – are we simply becoming more popular, have more members, more active members, are posting longer posts, or what? I only ask because without careful analysis, we might be victims of spam, aggressive search engines, or malware of various flavors.

Not that it makes any difference. If it’s malware or spam, and we can’t avoid it, we may have to bite the bullet and upgrade anyway. Such is life.

You have to think outside the box. Install the wings upside down the extra down draft will keep them on the wheel even better.

Rule 34 says they exist.

I think we’re getting one of these.

Upgrading from this?

Sidenote:The Rockwell/AB plant is a few miles from my house.

It won’t be too long before we get this technology, which was predicted long ago.

Thank you for the update. The Board is acting much better for me today albeit with the occasional hiccup.

I don’t mind the occasional hiccup-When we first started out it used to occasional belches and [del]fragrant[/del]frequent farts.

OP reported!

(to suggest stickifying this thread until resolved.)