Boner-killers in amateur porn

Well, it can be if one of your participants is spell checker and you don’t control it.

Just imagine. You and your sex partner want to do a little “production” and without warning you are replaced by an Armature. Now what can the armature do you say?

…I’ll let your imagination fill in the action here.

** Armature**

: an organ or structure (as teeth or thorns) for offense or defense -* workable I think
*
: a piece of soft iron or steel that connects the poles of a magnet or of adjacent magnets - *I think this has actually already been done
*
: a usually rotating part of an electric machine (as a generator or motor) which consists essentially of coils of wire around a metal core and in which electric current is induced or in which the input current interacts with a magnetic field to produce torque - I’d pay money to see this one
**
: the movable part of an electromagnetic device (as a loudspeaker) -
if it moves it can vibrate

: a framework used by a sculptor to support a figure being modeled in a plastic material - artistic!
eohijack

I really hope old man does not mean there what it means here:eek:. If not, then I must disagree, that is absolutely hilarious!

**Boner-killers in amateur porn **

Your mom.

(sorry, my head was going to explode if I didn’t post that)

Also, seeing the high school GF who wouldn’t put out doing three guys at once.

I’ve stumbled across one or two still photos of the “young woman taking nude photos of herself in the bathroom mirror” where her kid was standing in the doorway of the bathroom.
Boner killer:

The truly amateur stuff with no actual cameraman: the couple is trying to film themselves with a webcam and both participants spend the whole time watching themselves on the computer monitor instead of looking at each other; they have to keep stopping the action every couple minutes to reposition themselves and/or the camera to keep themselves in the frame, so they never really “get going”; they have no proper lighting and so you can’t see a damn thing that’s happening, so what’s the point, even?

I’m still laughing about armiture porn. But… There is the regrettable “fucked by machines” genre, where the hapless woman is tied down and placed at the mercy of a dildo attached to an electric motor that just moves the dildo back and forth … and back and forth. It holds no appeal for me. But I will now always think of it as armiture porn.

As far as boner killers: feet. Pro, amateur, doesn’t matter. There should be a warning at the beginning of every porn telling you if someone’s feet are going to wind up in someone’s mouth or other orifice.

Stop looking in the foot fetish section and you should see this clear up real quickly.

Alas, the average pornographer’s organizational skills leave a lot to be desired.

Amen, brother. How can anybody fuck while listening to the local news and commercials for Andy’s Used Cars with the volume turned to 11? The only explanation I can think of is that they’re trying to cover the sound of their sex so the kids don’t hear. But damn, what a turnoff.

Corollary to this, in either amateur or professional porn, is a cut to the guy’s face. I don’t need to see a guy’s face while someone’s slobbering his knob, or when he’s about to pop. As Robin Williams once said, “you feel like a god. And you look like goddamn Goofy! Men can’t fake an orgasm. Who wants to look that fucking dumb?”

There’s a really great video I’ve seen that is ama®teur, and sexy, and hot…the only problem is you can hear and old SNL on Comedy Central (remember when they used to do that?) just blaring in the background. If the sound was ever on I just couldn’t take the video seriously.

There was also a compilation video I saw where “Everybody’s Working For The Weekend” was playing throughout…I can’t take that song seriously ever again.

High heels in bed. Shoes of any kind, really.

I’d buy a compilation video called Boner-Killers. Just for the laughs.

Rule 34, my friend. Rule 34.

So, Bayard is into amputee porn, then?

<ducks and runs>

That was WAY more prevalent in the 70s, 80s, and early 90s. It was to the point where the camera lingered so long on the dude’s face, I was wondering if the director was trying to appeal to the closeted homosexual set too. Otherwise, WTF is the point of those close ups?

White women treat cum like lotion. Black women treat cum like acid. -a Black comedian(watch too much comedy to remember who it was)

I think it’s hilarious when the chick keeps moaning and calling “More, harder, deeper!” and the poor shlub diddling her has obviously been at it for the last fifteen minutes and is either exhausted or just dying to come.

The only time I actually enjoy seeing the guy’s face! :smiley:

Boner-Killers–band name!

OMG, I just posted in a porn thread.

They were probably shooting it for “them” (i.e. him) and had no idea what they were doing. Later, he was classy enough to upload it to the internet.

Quite “phallic” of you I must say old chap. Surprised it hasn’t happened sooner.