BOOBS! I've got boobs everywhere! ARG!

The BBQ Pit
1

Okay, to get this out of the way: Yes, I am very mad at my boobs. And yes, this thread has TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI. Consider yourself warned.

Now, here goes. My rant against my boobs.

First, some background. My boobs have been growing since I was a teenager. I started out as an A cup. Quickly became a B cup. During college, it went to a C cup. I’m now 22, and before today, I was a D cup. A 38 D to be exact.

So, today, I’m getting dressed. And I have to put on a bra. Nothing new with that. Too much boob to not wear a bra. And not just any bra–has to have wires and hooks and wide straps…its a whole boob suspension/support device. And then adjust the whole mess to avoid wires poking where no wire should ever go. Today, the bra doesn’t fit. None of my bras fit. NONE!!!

Damn freakin boobs! Don’t they know how much bras cost? Don’t they know that I have to try on every single bra that I could possibly think of buying to make sure that everything works? And that the bigger I get, the harder it is to find pretty bras? Sexy bras? Bras that hold the girls without evil words like “minimizer” and “flattener” and “control?” I’m 22! I’ve got to flaunt these things before gravity catches up to me! And don’t they know that they are hurting my back? And worst of all, I can’t find shirts that fit! I have to go to women’s size stores to find shirts that fit over the girls. I’m a size 12 everywhere else but my chest. Fuckers.

I even have a nickname because of my ever-growing superboobs. My friends call me Boobzilla. BOOBZILLA?! WTF? (Okay…not too mad about the boobzilla name…I made a t-shirt out of it…but now my Boobzilla shirt doesn’t fit because the boobs are TOO BIG!)

deep breath

Had to get that out of the way.

I know someone is going to suggest Victoria’s Secret as a source for bras. Please don’t. I don’t want to go on a rant about them, but their DD can’t hold my fist, let alone my boobs. (And I tried. Really. I did try on their bra. It didn’t fit and closed in the front!)

I’m going to go get some duct tape. Maybe that will work. And I can put on more tape if they get bigger. Or I could transplant my growing boob cells to those with flatter chests…like the natural implant or something.

Just had to get that rant off of my chest. :smack:

(sorry about the bad pun)

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snerk …off my chest snicker

I mean… umm… that sounds dreadful. My best friend has a similar boob problem but she’s developed the build to match. (Tall and curvy.)

Seriously, if you’re having back problems, you may want to consult with a medical expert on some way to resolve the problem. Back problems = bad.

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Lane Giant has good boob holsters. My ex has the same issue with finding big titty slings (come to think of it a lot of my ex’s have this problem, could be a pattern? Nah, I just must attract the large breasted. Yeah, thats it.) and Lane Giant seems to be the next best thing to mail order.

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Just goes to show that with a roll of duct tape and a little ingenuity, you can fix anything. Although I prefer gaffer’s tape, myself…

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Is there a medical reason why your breasts would keep growing after puberty? Mine ballooned after I got pregnant with my son (Stretch marks on my breasts!!) but they don’t make my back hurt.

Have you checked with your doctor?

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Huzzah! I couldn’t agree more, ghandi. My boobs fit my frame a little better than yours apparently fit, but it’s still ridiculous.

You will not, I assure you, hear me recommending Victoria’s Secret. I’m glad I’m not the only one who naively tried on one of their supposedly DD bras & went, “Ummm…This is supposed to be an entire DD bra, right? Not just extra-strength, straps-instead-of-glue pasties?”

Speaking of straps & such, hate industrial strength bras. Hatehatehate. I’m just waiting for one of those bastard underwires to misfire & puncture one of my lungs. To add insult to injury, most of them are, indeed, grandma-plain. I guess the manufacturers think, “Hey, they’re huge - they don’t need any help from us!”.

I have, however, found some decent ones. Actually, they were recommended to me by a fellow Doper - who she is, I cannot recall.

*Shoulder Spa bras by Bali (I got mine at Macy’s). Get some. Get many. The straps are filled with some sort of gellish substance, so they’re easier on the shoulders. I’ve seen them in the regular (white/black/peach/taupe) colors as well as a nice floral aqua-coloured pattern, lepoard, purple, pink, etc.

Good luck, & let me know if you find another brand you like.

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http://www.bravissimo.com/ specialises in attractive lingerie for cup sizes D-JJ

http://www.figleaves.com are v. good for lingerie and swimwear. A wide range of sizes and speedy delivery (of course, I’ve only had experience of the UK wing of their operation) They sell Freya, Fantasie, and Silhouette which specialise in very attractive bras for the larger bosom.

http://www.redoute.com is the site of La Redoute, a French home shopping catalogue. They have a nice range of well-priced lingerie, including some large sizes, which appear to have decent shoulder strap support and side reinforcements while being at the same time lacy and cute. I wouldn’t know about the fit and comfort aspect, being a small bosomed lady myself.

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oh, will you shut up! at least you can find bras your size! i’m a friggin’ 34D! try that for a day! you’ll search every underwear department of every store you can find on earth. oh yes, there will be loads of 34Cs. there will be 36Ds, 38Ds, 34Bs, etc etc etc!! EVERYTHING but a 34D! bra shopping for my is the most frustrating ordeal i should ever hope to experience! as if bra makers r thinking, hmmm. well she’s a D cup. she couldn’t possibly be a 34 anything. i’ve come to the conclusion that 1 of 2 things must occur; i will gain 30 lbs so i can be a 36 or 38D or i will have to flatten myself down to a B or C cup… so YOU, ghandi hush up and be happy w/ your 38!!! grrrr

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oh yes, and 1 more thing. i went bra shopping the other day (which may explain why i’m still so riled) and found exactly 5 bras that fit me in the entire mall. 1 of them was a granny bra and 2 of them were the same thing.

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Bah. You have no right to complain until you’ve had to try to find a 48K maternity bra.

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K!?!

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K like in “Try to find a bra to FIT, 'K? And if you DO find one, it will be a 46K or a 50K, because you clearly need something to do with your life and this will give you a purpose and stuff. We are only trying to help.” :smiley:

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MeanOldLady, you and I are the same size. Shopping for a new bra is generally frustrating enough to have me in tears by the end of the outing. And I have back problems. And all these t-shirts that wouldn’t be crop tops on anyone else!

Take my boobs. Please?

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I had to wear a 38I while breastfeeding, so I can feel your pain. I’m down to a G cup, and there is no such thing as a pretty bra for me.

Try LadyGrace.com (they have bras that even fit me,) or DecentExposures.com has awesome comfy bras too.

Oh, and zen101 thanks for making those of us that actually have to shop at Lane Bryant feel so much better about ourselves.

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I’m 15 and I’m a C12. I got my firt bra in grade 3. I know how you feel.

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One of my good friends was a 38D+ by the time she was 14 or so, so in her own words–“I chopped 'em off.” Goodbye to back problems, hello cute B-cup! I don’t think she ever regretted it, and it was considered a real medical procedure…

(And MOL, I also have a friend who is a 32D–you have some company.)

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Wow…lots of helpful advice…thanks for the links Tansu and LunaSea. I have them all bookmarked and will be doing some shopping sometime soon. And thank you, Cosmopolitan, for the suggestion about the Bali bras. I will be searching for those also.

In the meantime, I did make a stop at Wal-mart to find a temporary boob holder. Wal-mart doesn’t make long lasting bras. (Any bra I get there lasts maybe 2-3 months before unraveling or falling apart or wire trys to crawl out of the bra.)

I was going to go to Hechts (one of several May Company stores) to get bras, but anything DD is a minimizer. I’d do better to try to tape the girls flat. But Hecht’s is great for smaller cup sizes, and MeanOldLady, they do have lots of 34 Cs there. I liked buying things there because of the sales staff–they do free measurements, they’ll do the legwork and find the bras for you, and once they find something you like, they’ll either find something similar to it or different colors/prints of it. Plus, the salespeople aren’t on commission so they don’t try to force you to buy a million bras that you don’t need or want or like. It’s all about your (and your boobs) satisfaction. Sorry…sales plug for Hecht’s is over. I’ve just never had a bad experience there (and I have had bad experiences at some of the other chain department stores).

I do know why my boobs are still growing…combination of genetics and hormones. Every woman in my family is at least a D or larger…so I’m just getting to the “make my DNA happy” point. And I have incredibly strong hormones. I can’t take any version of pill or hormonal birth control because my hormones overpower it. To the point where I’ll bleed constantly. But that’s another rant for another day. In the meantime, I just needed to yell at my boobs for growing again.

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Ma’am, I want to know where can I find 36Ds…finding one bra that size is a miracle for me…and so far I have only found one type of bra that fits perfect for me…the only colors are beige and white, and I cannot wear low-neckline shirts because the bras show.

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HAHA, i can beat you.

i’m a 30F.

no. really.

itty bitty chest with HUGE boobies stuck on it. i mean it, just like oversized implants.

i’m built like bloody jordan. naturally.
think pamela anderson, but bigger.

and, oddly, the only bra that starts in a 30 and goes up to my cup size is a Gossard Superboost.

yes, that’s right , a frickin PUSH-UP BRA!

thanks guys.

(i’m on the pill, which doesn’t help, but i’m still a DD/E without it).

at least irishfella likes them the way they are.

at least shops STOCK your size, mine, technically is “specialist” ie deformed.

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hahaha@30F. hehe… ok, i shouldn’t be laughing. that’s not funny. but i am glad to hear from fellow 34Ds and some people who are in even worse situations. misery loves company, you know. :smiley: