I just have to say that I’m very impressed that you’d consider leaving a dentist’s chair in that circumstance. I can just imagine your outrage as you stalk out, albeit somewhat tempered by the blood dribbling from between your lips as you spit out wads of cotton and bits of enamel.
I admire your integrity!
Let me reiterate: I did not let it pass. I just didn’t turn it into a showdown. He wasn’t unclear about how I felt.
I’m sorry, but IMHO, none of those things justify staying with someone with whom you claim to so vehemently disagree. Even the best sex you ever had doesn’t justify it (speaking from personal experience on that one!)
As another veteran fag hag, I assure you: you can find another nice boy who likes his mom, pets kittens and puppies and buys you pizza, yet who is not a bigoted homophobe. I’ve dumped several guys for pretending to be “tolerant” as long as [insert condition here]. For each of those, I’ve dated at least three who accepted my friends, did not judge them and were perfectly happy to hang out with them. (“Your friends are cool!”) You should lose the “nice boy”. MHO.
Gobear: we live and learn, I guess. Nobody’s tried that crap with me since, at least! Plus he was my mom’s dentist; supposedly a family friend and all. I was very young and quite taken aback. Plus I had cotton in my mouth. I did inform my mom of what he said, naturally.
Sorry to keep hijacking your thread, Stoid, but the more I think about it, the more I think the dentist, perhaps unconsiously, took advantage of the fact that people couldn’t talk back at him. I’m sure a lot of dentists fall into this habit; it’s the best captive audience there is. By the time the shock has worn off, one doesn’t necessarily want to have a scene, so the dentist tends to get away with off-color remarks, and comes to think nothing of it because he/she is never confronted.
So Gobear, I think you are right, with the caveat that not everybody is really socially capable of loudly calling bullshit in the middle of a conversation with a dentist, or a neighbor. The natural tendency is to back slowly away. Which I guess is a good reason for activism, for those who do it – to make up for the natural reticence of the rest of us.
Dogzilla Thankyou for the advice, but that reply of mine you quoted was actually a joke. I know you mean well, but I should point out that-
I love the guy, and he is my best friend- the fact that we don’t agree on everything doesn’t change that fact. No one agrees with everything that another person says. My dad is pretty racist, (he’s old and his attitudes are from another time) should I cut him off forever too?
I wouldn’t say he was a rabid homophobe, I did say that he is slightly like that, in fact his brother is much worse. Mostly he goes on about the old canards about how gay people shove their homosexuality in his face and about how he isn’t homophobic because he isn’t afraid of them…(( know we have all heard those chestnuts before!), but it is pretty mild compared to a lot of people I have met that he knows. He has never physically attacked anyone/actively done anything to restrict anyone’s rights, not would he. All he has done has repeat some dull old chestnuts that he has heard parroted from his family and friends, if he is guilty of anything it is not opening himself up to new experiences and concepts outside of his life so far. But for all that, his opinion is different and I respect that, though I disagree with it. I would not dump someone because of one difference of opinion!
I’m amazed that one jokey post gives you enough knowledge about our relationship and about him to make you decide that he is to be dumped forthwith. Forgive me, but you are basing that judgement on very superficial evidence.
Everyone’s M may V, of course
Hee - that reminds me of a recent Buffy episode where Xander goes on a date with Ashanti (I think) who turns out to be a demon (of course), and he comes home and tell Willow he’s done with being straight;
XANDER
What do you think happened? Another demon woman was attracted to me! But I’ve got the answer! Willow! Gay me up! C’mon! Let’s gay!
WILLOW
What?
XANDER
You heard me. Tell me what to do. I’m mentally undressing Scott Bakula, that’s a start, right?
ANDREW
(dreamy)
Captain Archer.
XANDER
C’mon Willow, let’s get this gay show on the gay road. Help me out here!
(from this site.)
My previous home was sold to a lesbian couple. My realtor had no clue until the day of settlement, and I didn’t consider it worthy of comment. Afterwards, he asked me if I knew, and my response was that I didn’t ask them about their sexual preferences, as it wasn’t germane to the issue of selling a property. They were nice people, and they had adequate credit to secure a mortgage.
Stoid’s neighbor is an asshat, and I’m sure he’s glad to be rid of him. Best wishes on your new residence, Stoid.
I always loved the Bizarro strip titled Straight Interior Decorator.
*Decorator, waving arms: *“I see a moose head right on this wall over here, and plaid, lots of plaid.”
That’s why you always do a title search to make sure you take the property free of restrictive “gay design” covenants 
Well, I don’t know if this is necessarily always the best response. Sometimes people make remarks like that because they just don’t understand it. Some people who make intolerant remarks actually have a deeper and more nuanced view of the target group than simply “I hate those people!” Eventually those nuances might come out, and you could point out the flaws in them. Intolerant people are not always just ignorant or assholes, sometimes they’re just misinformed or had some bad experiences.
But if you make a scene and confront the person, that puts them on the defensive and possibly could just make them more resolved to stick to their ill-informed position. Example: all the hassle I’ve gotten over the years for being a smoker has partly served to make me identify myself as a “smoker” as a distinct label and part of my identity to an extent beyond simply being “what I do.” Say you wear alot of red shirts and all of a sudden everyone is attacking you for wearing red shirts. You probably never labelled yourself a “red shirt guy” before, but the confrontation has made it a bigger part of your identity than it was before. So you assault a guy’s homophobic remarks, it’s possible that he was just making these remarks casually and had never really thought about it much, he was just going along with what others say. The confrontation might make him start to label himself as homophobic and then to affirmatively defend the position here on out, whereas he might have just shed the misinformed ideas eventually if he hadn’t been put on the defensive.
If it’s a random stranger and you feel like venting, knock yourself out. I’m just suggesting that there might be more productive ways to go about reducing the frequency of insensitive remarks if that’s your goal.
Hypothetically, what would happen if a gay man had no talent for interior decoration? Ostracism, or worse?
I think there’s a small treatment centre outside Akron, Ohio, where you would be sent for basic education in colour theory and pattern matching.
Did the two guys you’re buying from and their agents have hours of fabulous gay sex after closing the sale?
What possible difference could the sexual orientation of the previous owners of the house you are buying make?
Why did this information need to past on to your current neighbors?
Shhhhhhhhhh There is a gay mafia ~
The guys I’m buying from happen to conform to the “fabulous decorators!” stereotype. Since I don’t have the slightest issue with homosexuality, and in fact have been attracted to gay men since childhood (as friends, I’m not sublimating my sexuality into unavailable objects to feel safe), I don’t see that there is any problem with mentioning it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. And saying “the guys I’m buying from are gay and one is a costumer” when that information is intended to convey the fact that the people I’m buying from have a certain gay-stereotypical sense of style is value-neutral in my world. I was reminded that it isn’t in other people’s.
But even knowing that, it wouldn’t stop me from mentioning it. Acting like it’s something that should be kept hidden just perpetuates crappy attitudes. Perhaps if the Harrys of the world encounter more and more people who are perfectly comfortable with homosexuality, they will start to re-think their attitudes. That’s how we’ve come as far as we have, and it’s the only way we will go farther still.
And to reiterate: many gay men do not conform to one single gay stereotype. Can’t cook, aren’t witty, hate show tunes, have zero style, and come off like any other dumpy, average straight guy. But it is dishonest in the service of political correctness to contend that none do, or that such stereotypes have no basis in reality.
Isn’t that checking the job of the lesbians? :eek:
Not only her hairdresser knows for sure…
and Stoid isn’t a dude.
Enjoy the house. Tell Harry you purified it by playing 3 football games in a row on TV.
I had a nutty relative tell me a rabbi’s ghost was in the attic of my house when I moved in. I told her I exorcised the house when, a few days later, I was having pork tenderloin, and before serving, I carried it upstairs on a fork and presented it to the trap door to the attic like a priest presenting a cross to a vampire.[sub] does that make ME a nutty relative?[/sub]
Well, in my world, it makes you interesting and someone I’d like to hang around with. But don’t go by me; I’ve been accused of being not entirely normal a few times in my life.
Normal is overrated. In the unlikely event I ever find myself in your area, I shall buy you a beer or beverage of your choice.
Hear, hear.
-Quonk, who wears faded t-shirts and has white streaks of paint on his blue walls. 