Yeah, baby! Few things reduce sex drive more than rug monkeys.
True enough, but is it a woman’s right to de facto castrate a man? After all, the matter goes both ways–unless one is neurotic, of course.
How come women make blanket accusations that blame all problems on men and refuse to admit to any responsibility on their own part?
Does your question sound so reasonable now?
I was kidding about the sex drive dropoff at 35 to make a point. I know it’s not a hard and fast rule for everyone. (pun intended)
elfje, Of course she isn’t required to please him and of course he shouldn’t pressure her. If anything I am overly conforming to how she feels. “What’s that dear, not in the mood? Of course that’s all right. Umm, I just have to go to the bathroom right now to… um… pee. Then we can cuddle all night.” Any asshat that would say you don’t love him anymore for not getting laid doesn’t deserve you. On the other hand, it is not right to always follow the wishes of just one partner.
I admit I have a problem with getting sex even occasionally when the other person isn’t really interested as it is an emotional bond not just a physical act. I hate “gift sex.” So, I try my damnedest to arouse them without pressuring and then hope for the best.
Of course the BF will mind, he just doesn’t have a right to be a dick about it or lay a guilt trip. Do I mind visiting her parents? Yes. Do I have a problem with it? No, she has a perfect right to want to visit them no matter how annoying they are.
I am not trying to be condescending either. There are many times you don’t feel like doing something but enjoy it when you do. This particularly holds true if it involves a bit of effort. “I’m too tired and don’t feel up to it,” can easily change to great enjoyment after things start going. Previous GFs stated this as the primary reason that they may not feel like it at any given moment, the effort required.
Of course you shouldn’t have to do it whenever he feels like it, but as a relationship involves compromise it should be more often that you would like if less often than he would like. The wise old NPR lady was the one that said in her studies the marriages that lasted longer and were considered “better” by both parties invariably involved the woman gettin jiggy a good bit more than she wanted to.
To temper that, she said not to bother if you didn’t see a future with him. It is only worth it when you are trying to build a lasting relationship.
Lastly, I look for a give and take in a relationship. Sex is important to me, so it means something when someone actively tries to please me. Just like I overcame my absolute HATRED of shopping (we are talking about ninth circle of hell loathing), to actually make the suggestion, “Lets go to the outlet stores and spend the whole day shopping.” I do stuff like that because it makes her happy, and the fact that it is a sacrifice on my part makes it even more significant.
Of course you have to actually try to enjoy yourself. If I went shopping and bitched and moaned the whole time it wouldn’t be worth squat. I actually taught myself to enjoy it for her sake.
If you want someone with a switch who only wants what you want when you want it perhaps you’re after a vibrator, not a human being.
Don’t be such a control freak.
Realise he is a person and accept him for what he is.
I don’t see how we could know how often men or women think about sex. How could that be measured?
Cite?
That just seems like a cultural perception to me.
Ali ibn Abu Taleb, the husband of Muhammad’s daughter Fatima: “Almighty God created sexual desire in 10 parts; then he gave nine parts to women and one to men.”
This Imam advocates sexual depravation as a punishment for wives.
Of course the really difficult thing (I didn’t say “hard”, you’ll notice.) is to get the guys SO to admit that her man would much rather watch football.
Peace,
mangeorge
Marry a she-nerd.
Girls who wear glasses
have LOTS of energy.
I think you meant “deprivation”. Jewish culture also presumes that women want sex. Indeed, traditionally, the Rabbis legislated on how much sex a woman could demand from her husband as a bare minumum. If he didn’t perform at least this much, the wife had full grounds to divorce him.
From http://www.jewfaq.org/sex.htm:
“Sex is the woman’s right, not the man’s. A man has a duty to give his wife sex regularly and to ensure that sex is pleasurable for her. He is also obligated to watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her without her asking for it. The woman’s right to sexual intercourse is referred to as onah, and it is one of a wife’s three basic rights (the others are food and clothing), which a husband may not reduce.”
Consult a handy Talmud for more details, of course.
Oh, he would.
I’m assuming, by the way, that “watch football” is some new euphemism for cunnilingus I just haven’t heard yet.
Oh, ye of little faith, (or ye of wilted willies), it’ll be a cold day in hell when the blue pill is desired in the GeoBill bedroom.
Just do what my girlfriend did unintentionally:
- PlayStation 2
- The Getaway
- Silent Hill 2
Worked for me.
-M
Wow. The idea of attempting to “de-hornify” anyone, male or female, is disturbing and selfish. It’s one thing to suggest that he respect your wishes when you’re not interested in sex and another entirely to state your wishes to control his desires. Sex toys come with on/off switches, not sex partners.
I guess I would suggest that you consider his interest in sex the same way you consider his other interests and wants and develop communication and compromises accordingly.
And, on behalf on stereotype breakers everywhere, while I don’t think about sex as frequently as teenage boys are credited to, I think about it several times a day. 
haha, well guys seem to have a reputation for thinking about sex constantly. It isn’t completely true…not ALL the time. I’ve actually gone for a couple of hours without thinking about sex (I doubt I’ve gone a complete day at least since I was 12). Right now I’m 22 and single, and although when I’m concentrating on something the thought of anything sexual can completely slip my mind for up to hours at a time, I find myself just randomly thinking about sexual things completely unrelated to what I’m doing. And when i’m around other people, I can’t help but wonder what every woman under 55 that I look at
a. looks like naked
b. would be like in bed
c. opal
so…yes and no. We think about sex all the time, but not ALL the time.
Not many facts seem to be forthcoming, so I’ll close this thread. You might try again in MPSIMS or IMHO.
bibliophage
moderator GQ