kthxbye4ever?
It seems clear that the ex-GF did officially break up with the OP before openly advertising her relationship status with the new BF, so there’s nothing against her on that score.
We don’t know whether she was clandestinely seeing the “new-BF” guy before actually breaking up with the OP, although I know which way I’d bet.
For all you know a lot of people already knew about her new relationship, have been asking her when she’s gonna dump you (no offence, don’t know you from adam. She might be the bitch or it might have been you).
Reason 152 why I dont do FB.
This is what I thought reading the OP too. If these new pics truly appeared “immediately” then the OP had some problems he wasn’t aware of.
I have separated from a marriage, dumped, and been dumped, all in the era of Facebook. And let me tell you people, it’s a nightmare. Learn from my mistakes. These are my recommendations:
If you are the dumper
It would be bad form to dump someone then defriend them. I would say allow the dumpee to do the defriending. Bear in mind then, that the person who’s been dumped will be stalking your profile, possibly touching the screen and crying over pictures of you, while intoning “why? Why?” Unless you’re cruel or careless, do try to be a bit sensitive, for the first few weeks anyway.
When I dumped my girlfriend last year, she remained on my friends list. And I moved on with my life and went out and had fun, all of which was reflected in my Facebook profile. I forgot the impact this would have on the ex-girlfriend. When, a month after I dumped the girl, my roomie and I updated our statuses to “married” as an April Fool’s joke, it apparently upset my ex very badly. But at least it prompted her to defriend me.
If you are the dumpee
Block, block, block! The LAST thing you need is your ex appearing in feeds, as they get on with their life, no doubt looking happy and carefree. You will be tempted to stalk, too, so blocking them will remove that ability. If you just defriend them you may still be able to see their profile.
Also, de-tag yourself from any pictures that you and your ex appear in.
A girl who broke my heart two years ago posted photographs of she and her new beau at “Matt’s birthday party”, beaming, with arms round each other publically. Well Matt’s birthday party was two days after she and I broke up. Like the girl in the OP almost certainly did, my girlfriend had clearly been working him into her life over the last few weeks of our relationship. Given how upset I was, I did NOT need to see that.
General advice
- Do not fill in the “relationship” parts of your profile.
Seriously - never. Even if you’ve been married for a gazillion years. You never know what lies round the corner.
My ex wife and I have several hundred IRL friends in our Facebook networks. When we separated, we told everyone we thought we needed to, then simultaneously listed ourselves as single. Well, we’d missed a few, and there were some very, very upset friends and family out there who saw this change in our feeds.
Now imagine this kind of thing if someone had died.
If you’re just bf/gf, it’s also fraught, since the relationship is more likely to fail. And changing that status when you have split up with someone is a sad, sad thing to have to do. Best leave it alone entirely.
Worse, every change in your relationship status is reflected in your feed. A friend of mine decided to delete that information entirely from her profile the day after a first date. He saw in his feed: “Anne is no longer listed as single” and was outraged at her presumption. (Thankfully it worked out - they just got married.)
- If you are going to remain friends with an ex, and are aware of the hazards, create a friends group and stick them in that. Limit their access to your profile: remove wall posts, status updates, etc.
Facebook is a great tool when things are going well, but there are bad things about it when things go awry.
Hope you find some of this helpful!
When I was reading the OP, I was kind of expecting a “so do you think I should call her and tell her how upset I am” statement in there. Kind of glad to see it didn’t.
You may be able to change your relationship status in facebook silently. First, change your relationship status. Second, go to the Wall on your own Profile page. At the top you should see the item that says your relationship status changed. Remove that entry and I think it removes it from the feed.
This.
No, it just means she’s a giant cheating slutbag, if it was literally posted “immediately” after you broke up. This isn’t about you; it’s about how happy she is with the new fucktoy.
Anecdote:
I know someone who learned of his father’s death via his sister’s MySpace page, since he slept in one morning and got online before checking his missed calls and voicemails.
Dude, man the fuck up. Jesus Christ. She defriended you just so you wont have to see this stuff and she wouldn’t have to deal with her ex creeping on her stuff. It’s not her fault you never deleted your old shit.
I’ve had exes trip out over photos of me and friends posted after break up and deletion (this was prior to the heavier privacy settings)-- more often than not, it’s just me joking around with FRIENDS, but the mind of a jilted ex can warp even the most innocent photo into a personal insult.
Seriously: how do you know that isn’t just a friend? Leave the girl alone and stop being a crazy, obsessive ex.
No, but it insensitive to say the least. For everybody saying to move on, they were together SIX YEARS. Of course we don’t know the story, etc. etc., but to IMMEDIATELY put the new guy’s picture on her profile pic (not just album) is Not Nice.
Sweet baby jesus, that should *never *happen. So, so wrong.
Hey, my daughter’s father (who she’d never known) contacted her via MySpace when she was seventeen. He sent her a message saying “You don’t know me, but I’m your father.” Classy, huh?
She responded saying “I know who you are. I have two MySpace pages, this one is for my actual friends. Please contact me at the other one.” I love that kid.
Same thing happened to my son at 16, through Facebook. He didn’t have as pithy a response ready, though!
Considering that he seems to assume her posting pictures of her friggin’ life is “passive aggressive” and obviously targeted towards him, how the hell do we know how “immediate” immediate is?
I never do this, either. It’s not like it’d be hard to tell by looking at who I’m with in pictures, and it spares me making a breakup into a big public show. If you don’t know me well enough to know who I’m dating, you don’t need to know.
:eek:!!! What is the sister doing posting anything before the immediate family has even been notified? And who thinks leaving a voicemail is an acceptable attempt at notification?
I found out my grandfather died when one of my cousins posted something on facebook. That sucked.
Thirded or fourthed about leaving your relationship status blank. I’m in a committed 5+ year relationship, but I don’t mention any status on my profile.
To the OP - Yes what she did was a nasty rude passive-aggressive slap in the face to you. It hurts to know she moved on so quickly (or that she had this dude waiting in the wings) after 6 years and then to have to see it shoved in your face. She knew very well what she was doing, and that you would see the photo. Fuck her, she is a mean slut.