This thread is dedicated to ETF, who has spent years composing songs for us with no recompense beyond the usual you-owe-me-a-new-keyboard stuff.
For the unimaginably dense, or those who lived under rocks during the late nineties, this is set to the tune of “Oops! I did it again”. Well, to the chorus, anyway.
Oops! I’m denuded again
I shaved my whole head
I’ve lost all my hair
Oh baby, baby
Oops! You think I’m on drugs
'Cause I look like a m-uh-unk (monk)
But it’s just advertisement
(You Drive Me) Crazy!
Crazy! From all the drugs.
I shaved my head so curtains match the rug.
I’m going crazy!
I don’t feel alright.
Rehab by day, Viper Room at night.
Oh, stop mocking me!
You should be glad
my baby’s still alive!
Britney Spears has no hair
doo dah doo dah
Now she’s bald without compare
all the doo dah day
Glare off her heeeeaddd
Glare off her head
Britney Spears has no hair
all the doo dah day
edited to add refrain
Notice me, and don’t ignore
I’m an addict and a media whore
The addiction’s on, why should I quit abusing?
Everytime I’m high, I take the dare
To free my body of all its hair
I guess I am too easy.
And everytime I try to quit, back I run
To tattoo parlors or the salon
I guess I am too easy.
Not a song, just a bumper sticker:
but Paris said, “Come and get bald”
No carpet,
No curtains,
No kids,
No cares,
Re-haaaab!
We don’t need to write it; it’s already been written:
(to the Bee Gees “More Than A Woman”):
Bald headed woman.
Bald headed woman to me.
(thanks, Dr. Demento!)
Not to be morbid, but the song that comes to mind is Suicide is Painless.
(to the tune of Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper)
Lying in bed I hear my 15 minutes
ending soon
What’s up with turtles?
I want to paint them blue.
Oh yeah, My life
Whats this song about?
Cooters and mammaries?
I’m drinking…
Online a picture of me
With clippers shaving my own head
Paris stopped calling me
I don’t know what I just said
Teachers say in school
I fell behind
Is it Mickey Mouse Time?
Chorus:
If you lost your appeal
And you want it back
Drink tequila and lime
If you need a decision
for you career
tequila and lime
If you lost your appeal
And you want it back
Drink tequila and lime
If you need a decision
for you career
tequila and lime
After dry humping girls
the tabloids think that I am gay
Watching through windows
K-Fed still won’t go away
Another drink - I fall down
on my behind
I really want pork rinds
If you lost your appeal
And you want it back
Drink tequila and lime
If you need a decision
for you career
tequila and lime
If you lost your appeal
And you want it back
Drink tequila and lime
If you need a decision
…ask Lindsay Lohan!
tequila and lime
tequila and lime
tequila and lime
George Thorogood pretty much covered it…
So what you want?
One bourbon, one scotch, and a shear
Well I ain’t seen my babies since I don’t know when,
I’ve been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
Gonna get high man I’m gonna get loose,
Need me a couple more bad tattoos
Gonna get drunk don’t you have no fear
I want one bourbon, one scotch and a shear
One bourbon, one scotch, and a shear.
.
Bald, Bald. I am Bald. I am now Bald.
Take my photo, I’m in the know and
I am now Bald.
Nicole did it by dying
But now I am trying
To stay on the front page.
I gave up on rehab
The only recourse I have
is this rage.
Bald, Bald Crazy Bald
The press is bashing
Cause I’m Bald, Bald, Ugly Bald
I’m no longer Flashing.
I’m Bald. Just Bald.
Dammit. ETF needs to see the thread before it dies.
One bump only.