Anyone know where I could find some? Or if they even exist?
Well, there’s Ursula Andress as Honey Rider and Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore. What more do you need?
Very nice!
Indeed.
Hm… ‘Arsula Undress’…
Seren: I don’t think they exist. Sounds like you want a nice broccoli pastry you can heat quickly. Why not make them yourself? Broccoli (or spinach), ricotta cheese, a bit of garlic and salt… Stuff it into a turnover and freeze it. Then heat it in the toaster!
Actually, they do have these things. Only they’re not shaped to fit in a toaster. Check Trader Joe’s frozen section, or the frozen section of your local supermarket.
You might be able to find cheese and broccoli hot pockets in the freezer section, which is about the closest you’re going to get, I think - I dread to think what you’d have to do to broccoli to make it stable for long term room temperature storage. Eeesh.
…2…3…4… Oh! Good one! snort
My vote goes to Jane Seymour as Solitaire.
Such an abomination should never taint the name of “Pop Tart.”
Keep them full of sweet goodness.
There are many words I could use to describe Ursula and Honor but abomination would not be one that leaps to mind. 
the folks that make the Chicken Kiev and Chicken Cordon Bleu pastries also make a Broccoli/Cheese thing. Check you local store’s freezer section. They’re not so good nuked, but toaster ovens do a nice job on them.
How to make your own toaster pastries, courtesy of Good Eats.
I’m going to make spicy tomato chutney Pop Tarts one of these days.
And yet, the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese folks have managed it.. And may I say, it’s mighty disturbing if you weren’t paying attention when you took the box off the shelf at the supermarket and all of a sudden found green bits in your Mac and Cheese.
Thanks for all the advice, everyone.
I totally agree. I’d never eat one of those monsters myself. This was completely in response to my boyfriend’s “If you can actually find a broccoli pop tart, I’ll eat it.”
See, we were comparing foods we liked and he likes broccoli and hot pop tarts while I don’t like either… Long story short, broccoli pop tarts.
Oh, yeah, but that’s presumably freeze-dried or some such - there are a number of instant soups that also include broccoli, but pop-tarts aren’t something that you have to reconstitute, so they’d have to find a way of keeping it stable and moist, which just makes me shudder.
My wife and I have the same thing. If I ever actually find Jane Seymour, I get to eat her.
Dante, if I happen to see her someday, I’ll point her in your direction.
It doesn’t have to be made from real broccoli. Could just be some sort of broccoli flavored gel… And after the broccoli flavor is mastered, it could be put into all sorts of things–toothpaste, life savers, mints, soda, potato chips…
Why not eat a regular pop tart and wash it down with Broccoli Casserole Soda?
I got a box of this stuff before Thanksgiving and have not had the courage to try it yet.
That’s great. I’m gonna have to get some for him. If you ever try yours, let me know how it goes.
I threw up a little bit in my mouth when I read this.
It’s available all over Indianapolis, at local Speedway Conveniance stores, oddly enough no one seems to be buying it (could be the Salmon flavored soda). It should be at Speedway, or what ever incarnation of such is in your area. My package contains the Turkey and Gravy with Brussel Sprouts. If you find the Salmon and Broccoli pack, post the results and I might find the courage to taste (ulp) the Wild Herb Dressing soda.
I’m gonna go out shopping tonight after work, so I’ll update tomorrow on this. I hope they do have the Salmon one.
I also hope my boyfriend doesn’t read this. “Hey sweetie, want me to make dinner tomorrow night?” Mwahahaha 