For all the negative press they receive, IMHO you can’t beat drugs and alcohol.
Heh. He’s my drinking buddy, too!
Yeah, the main reason why he left is that honestly I’m a bit out of his league. He’s cute and fun, but otherwise a bit of a loser. I’m on my way to bigger and better things. He feels like I’m going to lose interest once we are done with our work here. Honestly, he’s probably pretty correct. But damn! Doesn’t really hurt less.
I really am better off without him. I’ve just been lonely so long.
Time wounds all heels.
No, fractures. Broken hearts “fracture.” They don’t “rupture.” Everybody knows that.
Anyway, I tried drinking. Turns out I still had the aforementioned heart problem, just with hangovers and guilt in addition.
Went to a doctor and spilled my tale of woe. She prescribed antidepressants. Couldn’t tolerate the side effects. Eventually ended up with prescription sleeping pills.
That actually worked. Slept a ton. If I wasn’t working, I was sleeping. Maybe the subconscious was able to come to sort of acceptance level while I kept my consciousness sedated.
It wasn’t immediate, nor was it a total remission, but it helped.
I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin.’
I cut off contact, set goals for myself and then set about accomplishing them. For me, it was about 1) getting into business school and 2) getting my working paper done to go to Lobby Week on capitol hill.
I think I’m doing pretty good. In 4 months I recaptured 13 years of Not Doing Math, got a 700+ score on the GMATs, formed my committee, wrote 40 b-school essays and am taking two maths classes at UCLA (college calculus and . Once interview season is over (gods willing, I’ll get an interview somewhere), I’m going to finish up the working papers.
Although honestly at this point I feel like I’m no longer willing or capable of get emotionally attached to anyone. There seems to be little payoff. I get more satisfaction from winning and accomplishing goals.
Oddly enough, since I wrote the above sage advice on how to recover from a broken heart, I’ve had mine torn out, stomped on, and ground into dust. MY new GF (of about a month) with whom I was utterly enthralled, just informed me (on the phone) that she wasn’t feeling for me the things I’d been feeling for her, so out of consideration for my getting on with my life as quickly as possible, she needed to break up with me tonight.
So I’ll try to take my own advice, and find something worthwhile to sink my energies into. Nothing jumps out at me, straight off. Except drinking. And I don’t drink, so that’s pretty much out.
I can’t sleep–it’s 5 AM here, and not the slightest signs of sleepiness–so I think I’ll start another IMHO thread so not to hijack ES’s.
Man, that sucks PRR. It’s the other 5 o’clock here, and I just woke up from a nap. I hoped laying down would kill the afternoon for me, but I was barely asleep for half an hour. Now I’m left groggy in PJ’s well before dinnertime, with nothing left to do but clutch my cell phone and hope against hope it’ll start buzzing.
It’s funny how it’s such an old story. Maybe the oldest one there is. But it still gets you every time.
Yeah, it’s bad, ES, and bad in the same way that I remember bad head-drug experiences being bad: the conviction I have (and you may have too) that not only does this feel awful, I have no chance of it ever feeling otherwise. For the past few weeks, I’d been marvelling that there was only one right person on this planet for me, and how lucky I was that I finally found her–which may be exciting to think, but now I’m in a spot where that same logic tells me “Why even search for someone half as good as her? From here on, it’s just a matter of settling for someone remotely acceptable. You’ll never find love again–how likely is it that you could even find it the one time?” etc.
Thanks for the kind words, though, ES–and right back at you.
I echo this, down to every last word.
I know he’s out with girls, I’m too teary to do anything productive, but too bored to stay at home. So it’s time to go out with friends to self-medicate with alcohol. I gave Mr. Heartache advanced warning, so hopefully this time he doesn’t show up with his teenage sluts like he did last time I tried to have a nice dinner with friends.
This city is too small for us.
Ugh.
I’m so sorry. That truly sucks. Good luck with the self-medication.
Get drunk but don’t make yourself sick, please. Be nice to yourself.
Drinking takes the edge off, but the hangover doubles the pain.
. . .which a lil hair-o-the-dog promptly addresses.
kayaker, defender of alcohol;)
Correct. Drinking doesn’t cause pain. It’s when you *stop *drinking that it hurts.
Well, I’m a little drunk now. Texted Mr. Heartache all night, even while I know he is out with teenage sluts. But I met a nice police officer. Maybe I can find a local. God knows. Ain’t nothing easy in this life.
But I’m drunk now. I’ll sleep sound. It’ll be okay for one more night. And if I can keep doing one more night eventually my love with fade. It seems like a crime to want to destroy love, but it’s what I gotta do. I’ve been through worse than this!
Thanks for the good words, all. I know I’m just about begging for attention, but we all need to do so once in a while, right? It helps to realize how mundane my troubles are and how many people have gotten over the exact same thing.
Easy on the drunk-dialing and/or texting. Nothing good can come of it. So what’re you drinking? Whatever it is, Angostura Bitters can only make it better.
^a dash o’ bitters, huh? I will have to buy a bottle, seeing how your posts all seem sensible.
Nothing to drink but beer or baijiu (really bad Chinese liquor) around here. I’ve been hitting weak beer in big bottles. It seems to help.
He started the texting. I’m not being delusional in believing that he does/is going to miss me. He may date local girls, but they are never going to be like me, and he knows it. He missed out on a good thing here. He gave up the best girl he’s gonna have, unless he sobers up and finds a job.
But he’s right, too. It probably wouldn’t have lasted.
I’m so mixed up. How can the best thing feel so wrong?
And is there any possibility of being friends? Right now I’d love to see him suffer like I suffer, but these feelings can’t last, right? I need every friend I can get, and honestly our friendship was always stronger than our love anyway, though I hate to admit it.