What’s the fastest and healthiest way to cure a broken heart? I’ve been dealing with one for the past three weeks. I’m still hurting…any advice? Perhaps, this question would be better suited for an Oprah chat room, but, I’d like to have information from the smarter population.
I heard somewhere that the best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody.
But then, that was on a sitcom, so it probably isn’t the sagest advice I ever got.
In all seriousness, loislane138, time is the only cure that heals all wounds. And sometimes, and I’m speaking from experience here, that won’t even do it.
For a better class of chatter, try http://thrive.oxygen.com.
Good luck and be strong.
So what are doing about it? If time is the ultimate cure-all here, what are you dong?
:digging himself out of his hole as fast as he can:
Pleasepleasepleaseplease believe me that I meant no disrespect in that post to the SD’s chatters. I have not had the pleasure to participate in the SD chat room, so I, of course, have no idea how high class they are.
I was trying to disrespect the Oprah chatters, who had already been dissed, and the “brain-dead AOLers” of Weird Al yore.
Just try to keep yourself busy and thinking about hatever you like to think about. Try to go out with friends and stay out of situations which remind you of what you shouldn’t be thinking. One thing I always used to do is forbid myself to talk about the subject to my friends and that helped immensely. They would not get tired of me and my mind would be on something else. stick around and you’ll soon be involved in some pretty interesting or pointless stuff… 
Oh, and don’t take it personally when annoying things happen. Like if this thread gets moved to IMHO.
yeah you might want to kill some time reading the board’s rules and forum’s descriptions before we jump all over you
Whenever you find yourself thinking about how much you miss that person, remind yourself of his faults. We tend to idealize the object of our unrequited love, and as long as we do, the hurt never ends. Be realistic. The guy wasn’t perfect. Nobody’s perfect. That’s okay.
My sister had a book (this was a million years ago) called “How to Fall Out of Love”. One of the suggestions in the book was to keep a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you find yourself daydreaming about your lost love, snap the rubberband. I think this is a little too simplistic; I’d suggest, when you snap the rubberband, to do a reality check. He isn’t perfect. [snap!] You can survive without him. [snap!] You are a valuable person.[snap!] Just because it didn’t work out with this one person doesn’t mean you’re doomed to wander the planet alone for the rest of your life. [snap!] Even if you did stay alone for the rest of your life, you can never be truly alone because you have yourself, and you are the most important person in your life. [snap!]
Keep active. Read a good book. Renew old friendships and strengthen current ones. Realize your own self-worth. Realize the value of your non-romantic relationships: a good friend is worth two (or more) lovers. The most destructive part of breaking up is the tendency to blame and belittle yourself: don’t let yourself do it. Focus on your own positive qualities. Don’t regret your relationship with him: it has helped to shape you into an even stronger, more worthwhile human being.
Move ahead, and good luck.
Not that I’m anybody to talk, but this bears repeating.
I don’t know if there’s a fast way, but there’s certainly healthy ways. Like the other posters have said, time seems to be a key factor, so you’re gonna be aching for a little bit. But you can use this energy in either constructive or destructive ways. Are you artistic at all? I find that whenever I’m down I can try to reroute my energy into artistic endevours, and this helps me tremendously in dealing with heartaches. And it really seems to put a huge spark in my creativity. I’m always the most productive when I’m down, for some reason. If you can do this, I think this is a good way of dealing with things.
Keeping yourself open to other people is another. One of the worst things you can do, IMHO, is to hold out from meeting other potential SOs because you are trying to stay true to some burning flame in your heart. It doesn’t do you any good, trust me. Keep yourself busy. Hang out with friends. Don’t dwell on it. I know, I know. Easier said than done.
Three weeks is not a big deal. You’re still in a healthy, normal “mourning” period, at least by my account. And, I know this will be the tritest thing to say, but there are lots of people out there. Every single time I thought I met the “love of my life” and nobody would ever compare to her, I met somebody else a few months on, who was even better. And I know you won’t believe this at the moment I’m telling you, but you gotta trust me.
Stay cool, cry if you need to; hey, if you get drunk once in a while to forget, fine. Just be careful. There is no easy way out of this…just find a constructive way to deal with it. I don’t know if this is any help, but it’s all I can tell ya.
Good luck,
Pete
I just thought that it was appropriate in GQ, because I thought that maybe a doctor or anyone who’s had a rough breakup, could answer. Maybe it should’ve gone n GD.
Oh, and about "I heard somewhere that the best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody "…no dice, I have a crippling case of shyness…the mere thought of going up and asking someone to sleep with me makes my palms sweaty.
Sorry, loislane138, that remark was supposed to have a 
after it. I did mean it as a joke.
What I didn’t mean as a joke was the link to Thrive. I’ve only poked my head in their briefly from time to time, but I know some folks who hang out there regularly, and it’s a really supportive community of online friends.
Again, good luck and be strong.
You think that doctors have any more clue about this than the rest of us? Naw, nobody knows the answers when it comes to love. If you want to know what everyone thinks the answers are, then IMHO is the place. I’ll bump it over there.
What’s the best and quickest way to cure a broken heart?
The doctors’ seem to be in agreement… sutures.
<Quote from song nobody will know>
Who said time heals all wounds?
I think it was me.
Before I met you.
</Quote from song nobody will know>
Are youy close with any old folks?
My granddaughters talk to me about their broken hearts. Seems to help, though I’m not sure why. Possibly because they see this old fart who’s had many a heartbreak, and is still alive and happy.
Do not take KneadToKnow’s TIC advice. All that’ll get you is a doubly broken heart. Follow your instincts, and it’ll pass.
Life’s too short, kiddo.
Peace,
mangeorge (I like Oprah)
I’ve always been a big fan of drinking heavily. Then crying. Repeat as necessary.
I’m in the middle of this right now. It sucks big time, so I know how you feel.
The thing that has worked for me is putting away all the stuff I have that reminds me of him. In my time of extreme anger, I burned a letter he wrote me that was rather meaningless in the sink, but everything else is in the attic.
Something else that has helped me is doing things alone. When you get used to having a person around, the idea of being alone can be crippling. But just go and do it. The weather here is beautiful, so I’ve been going on long hikes with my dog, spending time reading in my favorite city park. Tonight I went to the Baltimore Museum of Art all by my lonesome (something we had planned to do together), and ended up enjoying myself. I lost a lot of self-respect in the past few weeks, and have been doubting myself an awful lot, but being alone allows me - my inner voice, my strongest thoughts, the ideas that would otherwise be muted - to be heard without interruption. It’s helped solidify my concept of self and my self-respect may just be on an upswing.
Also, if you like to read, try to recall a book that you read once and loved. I realized a few days ago that I really, really wanted to re-read Beach Music by Pat Conroy, so I bought it and it has been busying up my mind of late.
Also, this may just be me, and I’m sure it sounds silly, but I went out and bought all new make-up. He always told me I looked beautiful with natural eyes and dark red lips, so I bought light-colored lipstick, eyeliner and mascara. Now I feel different and empowered when I look in the mirror.
Other than that, the time thing is really important. It’s been a week for me, and I’m still hurting. I sort of weave in and out of hurt and numbness. Right now finals are preoccupying me, but I have plans right after finals to go to Ocean City with some friends, which will keep me uplifted once the rush of exams is over.
Best of luck. Feel free to e-mail me if you wanna talk.
[nipick]
I understood that you meant a better class of chatter than in an Oprah chat room. (There’s an SMDB chat room? Where? Bleh, I’m not much of a chatter anyway.)
But, Oprah is one of the founders of Oxygen. So isn’t that a link to an Oprah chat room? (Never been there, so I can’t say it isn’t a good one.)
[/nitpick]
I recommend Black Sabbath, Sothern Comfort, and Comedy Central. Well, it works for me, sometimes, anyway.