…New Jersey, which nobody missed anyways because recently…
. . . the Carolinas declared war on them because New Jersey is whipping them in the playoffs, which makes everyone realize that New Jersey is pretty cool, beguiling Congress to . . .
forget all about them and commence plans to build a new animatronic robot to replace George W. Bush in four years, as the Al Gore one is getting a tad rusty. However, the designers of the new model…
…are software engineers from Redmond, Washington, and they forgot to…
. . . inform the NSA to tell the blue aliens that the software package onboard the prototype robot would. . .
look and sound a lot like Dr. Laura. Accordingly,…
… all the people out there “shacking up” form an angry mob and…
…feeding salt licks to the deer, causing a massive…
…change in the salinity of run-off, which, combined with Sally Strother’s tears, radically raises ocean salinity. disturbed, Aquaman leaves the lovenest he shares with the little mermaid…
… who becomes so angry, she unleashes a horde of rabid sea monkeys …
…which devour every last plankton in the world’s oceans. Which wouldn’t really be a problem, except…
… which caused the ice cream and perfume industries to go bankrupt for lace of agar. The resulting financial panic …
for lack of agar
Allowed Planters™ to gain a monopoly. Antitrust laws being what they are, however, made…
…it almost impossible for someone from L.A. to mock a Redwings fan, but that is besides the point (Ha ha, JoeyHemlock). The real point is that the anti-trust also caused all cans of Tuna-safe dolphin to become…
…SDMB moderators, so they could infiltrate the head office of Industrial Light and Magic and…
Designed an animatronic robot, who replaced George Bush. Meanwhile, in Anaheim…
… Grandma had her hands full beating off the Indians. The Indians …
… reverent in their ancient traditions, whip out their Citibank ™ Visa cards and attempt to “charge it” so they can keep cash and afford to …
…buy back Long Island for $26, plus a few centuries of compund interest at 8.625%. They, oddly, succeed, and the residents of Long Island are…