From a Nun which, thank God, I only had to suffer for three months but who scarred me forever: “Left handedness is the sign of the devil. Put your hand out. Fingers bunched. Fingers bunched, mademoiselle!” (everything was in French except when they wanted to make sure you understood) THWACK on the points of the fingers.
From my mother, who keeps a second apartment on the Moon: “oh, you used to use both hands interchangeably when you were a kid but then one day you just grew out of it.”
“No nun has ever hit you, you just got that idea out of the Celia books.” (FTR: in the Celia books she gets thwacked a couple times, but it’s on the open hand)
Mom had to drop the second line after I got slapped by the Mother Director in 8th grade but she still only accepts that slap as having ever happened.
Guess a woman DOES have been to the Moon, now I think about it!
Shakespeare–and all the actors of his era–were eunuchs.
US coins contain a small amount of glass added into the metal, which is why they make that ringing sound when they hit something.
Bob Newhart is Jewish, otherwise he wouldn’t appear at Jewish charity events.
The original KKK weren’t racist terrorists, they were freedom fighters.
This isn’t just a nun thing. I went to a public school in Louisiana. My kindergarden teacher saw me drawing with my left hand, paddled me, and made me use my right. 25 years later, I’m now right-handed, but I hold my pen like a left handed person! (Learning how to type was a blessing. Lots of writing hurts.)
Nope; schizophrenia is a chemical imbalance with symptoms of disordered thinking, paranoia, auditory hallucinations. Multiple Personality Disorder (now Disassociative Identity Disorder) is having alters as a coping mechanism.
I was told:
“I’ve got your nose!” and
“If you run through the house it will make it fall down”
until my mom got pissed and told my grandparents to stop upsetting me.
That’s what I believed, until I posted it here on the SDMB. They didn’t quite box my ears, but they dragged me over to Snopes and showed me the truth. :smack: A few posters from the seafood industry indignantly told me I was wrong, and they were tired of having their honor besmirched. It’s a good thing dueling has gone out of style. Reading this board for a while can help you build your skeptic’s chops.
My high school girlfriend, when I had forgotten to buy a condom, told me a girl can’t get pregnant if she doesn’t have an orgasm. I was absolutely sure she was wrong about that. However, I was a card-carrying horny 17-year-old, so I boinked her anyway. I was a lucky fool, and she didn’t get pregnant. Am I supposed to thank God for that? I never figured that out.
In my primary school, there was an annual excursion to Canberra, the nation’s capital city. This was always in 5th Grade. One of the things we would do, after seeing all the monuments etc, was to go up to one of the lookouts on the surrounding mountains to see the lights of the city just after nightfall. The teacher told us to close our eyes and then five seconds later, he said we could open them. Then he told us that he was friends with a guy in the power company, and this guy had promised that, at the allotted time, he would make the entire city blink on and off several times very quickly, and that only the teachers had seen it.
We were pretty pissed off.
When we came home, my older sister had told us that the same teacher had pulled the same prank two years earlier when she was in 5th Grade.
Medical bullshit:
“You’ll feel a little pressure” (Ow!)
“Just a little poke” (OW!!)
“Don’t worry, I’ve been doing this for twenty years.” (Maybe, but you suck at it.)
Oh, and one I just caught on to: “You’re doing great. You’re doing great.” (You’re starting to freak out and you need to calm the fuck down.)
Yeah! Most people I talked with thought the place was abandoned; sometimes you’ll drive by and see what appear to be cars that have just been dropped off at the gate.
“If you drink while you’re high, or get high after drinking, you’ll go into a coma.” I honestly believed that for a long time.
“A lot of actors are gay. This is because they can have any woman they want, and that’s boring, so they need a challenge.” I wasn’t sure I believed that, but I had no real proof to the contrary.
Oh, and “Homosexuals hate women.” Why? “Because their domineering mothers made them gay.”
“Don’t open your mouth when it’s below freezing. Your lungs will freeze.” Well, my bus-stop pals and I chattered nineteen to the dozen on sub-freezing days, and we’re still here.
Reading this board for a while can help you build your skeptic’s chops.