Bumper Stickers I Can't Fathom

I’m not anti-bumper-sticker; I’m really not. I’ve seen some that have made me laugh out loud and others that have made me want to set the person’s car on fire, but in general, I’m not the type of person to disparage all the people that put bumper stickers on their cars. However, I’m still a little confused by this one, which I see every day in the parking lot of my apartment complex–

“Peace on Earth begins with birth. Support midwives!”

What in the everloving fuck does this even mean? I feel as though I am missing something obvious, but for the life of me, I can’t tell why those two sentences are joined together. If I follow correctly, the owner of this decal believes that international relations are dependent in some way on how a child is delivered? Perhaps someone should notify the previous 42 presidential administrations, none of whom I believe consulted midwives on matters of foreign policy. Seriously, what the fuck does it have to do with anything? I guess “Don’t get placenta on the Saudi Arabian delegates” might be good advice, but that seems to be pretty much common sense.

Here are some more bumper stickers that I thought up for this person to use. I simply combined some pithy rhyme about natural birth with something that has nothing at all to do with obstetrics–

“The fall of Rome was a result of few births in the home. Support midwives!”

“Naturally deliver your baby or it’ll become a drug addict maybe? Support midwives!”

Can anyone explain this bumper sticker to me or provide their own examples of weird stickers?

Oh, and since this is the Pit–sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, lemon drops and…

Got me on the midwife connection. I’ve been scratching my head over this chrome based wisdom: “You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny.”

I’ve always understood the point of a bumper sticker is to make a statement to the general public. While I’m sure there may well be people in this car owner’s circle who are ugly and victims of maternal clothes abuse - does this translate to everyone who happens to approach this car from behind?

Who was the genius that created the sticker? And who would actually select that one from all the other gems and take the time to level it, slap it on, then remove the air bubbles?

(and stop talkin’ bout my mother)

I think that the midwife debate is similar in a lot of ways to the circumcision debate, in terms of the logic used. Something about birth trauma leading people to grow funny mustaches and tie people to train tracks or logs in a sawmill or some shit.

That said, if this is someone that lives near you why not bump in to her and ask? Those midwives are like rutting minks in the sack, man.

I have a very crunchy granola cousin and got to know her midwife a little bit. She was very sure that having a baby with a midwife, at home, was the best way to give birth. It was a very peaceful birth compared to the raucus evil that is being ripped into being in a nasty nasty hospital by some butcher of a doctor.

‘A peaceful midwife-attended birthing gets your baby’s life off in a nice way, right from birth and will eventually lead to all sorts of great stuff, like world peace’ just isn’t catchy enough. Although it is easier to fathom.

I can’t fathom why you’d put this in the Pit. I’m locking it. Feel free to start this thread in a more appropriate forum.

For the Straight Dope