Bunnycide at Wal-Mart: so funny

So me and the Mr. go to Wal-Mart tonight, sans our 3 year old, to stock up for the E-a-s-t-e-r b-a-s-k-e-t. We were buying c-a-n-d-y. (Those of you who are parents understand why I am spelling c-h-o-c-o-l-a-t-e related words, even on the internet.)

I thought it might be nice to get her a little cute stuffed duck, so we go into the Overpriced Stuffed Farm Animal Aisle.

My husband is eyeing one of the shelves when his eyes fall on a rabbit.

The rabbit had no head, though. All we could see was a little rabbit body, sitting up straight.

Apparently some frustrated shopper, annoyed at the fact that Wal-Mart can’t keep Cadbury eggs in stock, had almost completely ripped the head off of this poor bunny. It was hanging by a thread. It’s like he had a flip-top head; he was looking directly behind himself.

After we quit laughing, we figured we’d make him more comfortable.

DH put him on the top shelf, on his back. Anyone who walks into that aisle tonight will be immediately greeted by the sight of a half-decapitated rabbit staring at them, complete with a full view of his little neck stuffing.

I kinda wanted to put a sign with him that said something like “This bunny was bad” but DH wouldn’t let me …

Reminds me of a catalog some co-worker brought to work a few years ago for one of her kids…another school sales benefit thingie…at any rate, it had all these pictures of cute, way-over-priced chocolate bunnies and things for Easter.

Then, on one page, there was a chocolate Christ on the cross!

It was so odd, I just burst out laughing.

It is one thing to bite off the head of a chocolate bunny…but how hungry do you have to be to say, “Gee…I think I’ll just wander over and take a chomp out of Jesus’s head…”

:stuck_out_tongue:

I always thought that went, “There’s got to be a…”

You learn something everyday. Oh yeah, that song was the first thing that popped into my head too when I read this.

Are you sure none of the other bunnies on the shelf had “nasty, pointy teeth”?

No, no, no!!! Imagine: decapitated bunny laying on the shelf, another bunny standing triumphantly over him, a packet of ketchup, you get the idea!!!

Personally, I would have brought him home and named him “Nick”.

Or brought him home and staged my own production of “Wait Until Dark”.

Or rename myself “Wednesday” and carry him around all day.


This post brought to you by “Waytoomuchcaffeine” Coffee.

He didn’t owe on any gambling debts, did he? Was in the NY/NJ area?

No, not NY/NJ. West Virginia. Which means he probably crossed a picket line and the UMWA had him “taken care of.”

I was at Wal-Mart again today and he wasn’t there. Maybe he received a proper burial in the gardening department.

It was me, and it had NOTHING to do with Cadbury.

But dadgummit, those Dove Truffle Eggs are a bitch to find.

[Homer]Mmmmmmmmm…Dove Truffle Eggs…[/Homer]

:smiley: Yeah, that’s fine for a while, but you can’t do it after they learn to R-E-A-D.

I would have been tempted to buy the bunny and bring it home for extensive surgery. I have experience in this area, what with a family of over 100 stuffed animals and a few real ones as well - i.e. dogs who like to shake a stuffing out of their toys.

In university, my dorm room window overlooked the roof of the cafeteria. You could step out the window and be standing on the roof (although this was forbidden). One day, my roommate found a small stuffed bunny on the roof, with its head just hanging from a few threads.

Everyone else just joked about it, and it was likely to get thrown back out the window, but I found it on the floor one day and sewed its head back on. Now it’s part of my aforementioned “teddy” family. (I call all my stuffed animals “teddies” - teddy bears, teddy dogs, teddy rabbits, etc.)

Just yesterday, my mother related a childhood Easter story which had her wishing she’d get a chocolate bunny this year. One year, she got her chocolate bunny and ate the whole thing in short order. Her sister, however, saved and hid her own. Unfortunately, my mother saw where it had been hidden and bit its head off. :eek: Her sister was mad at her for months.

I said, “Mom, you really were a little bitch. I guess nothing’s changed.” :wink: (I tell her that it doesn’t bother me when someone calls me a son of a bitch. I just say, “You know my mother?” I tease because I love!)

Anyhoo…