Name: Saddam Hussein
Age: 66
Height: 6’2"
Weight: 200
Status: Married with Concubines
Occupation: Recently Laid Off from Administrative Position
Category: Castro-meets-90s-grunge
Location: Bagdhad (soon to be NE)
Big Event: War Crimes Trial
Can the Fab Five help him go from sufi slob to chic sheikh in time for his trial? Only the future will tell, but my predictions of how each will help:
Ted: Will teach him how to make a lovely kosher goat and lamb etouffe that will impress investigators and jurors alike
Thom: Will bring a touch of the Arabian nights to his Guantanamo cell with some well hung (you can hear Carson laughing at that one) woven wool textile walls and some functional yet beautiful Turkish rugs and Pottery Barn brass fixtures
Kyan: Will donate the beard to “Locks of Love” and teach him to shave with the grain; maybe a nice mousse worked in from the back will give him a more hip flair
Carson: It’ll be “Who Dat? Hussein!” when Carson reclads him in a versatile and hip yet age appropriate Versace ensemble with just a tad of intricate geometric embroidery to give an exotic feel to the wardrobe
Jai: will fetch pizzas and tell Saddam to make eye contact with jury
Any further suggestions for how the Fab Five can help make Saddam the Shi’ite Slayer to Ladykiller?
