Yup. You gotta wonder which of his speechwriters came up with that.
And on that note, is his stable of speechwriters generally known? For all that their output has been vastly underutilized (and the delivery, when it was used, wooden and unconvincing), is the position even something that a rational person would put on their resume?
I said in another thread that I wouldn’t be surprised if Twitter made the video a condition for re-establishing his account; I wouldn’t be surprised if they wrote the speech for him. It sounds nothing like any other speech he’s ever made,
Hist latest -
and
fucking hilarious.
“The last four years are blank in your resume. What were you doing?”
“I was… in prison!! Yeah, I was in prison, I swear!”
Who gives a shit? I doubt if you would even be invited at this point.
Besides, his parole officer probably won’t give him permission either.
Man, this is just like when he wasn’t able to throw out the first pitch at Yankee Stadium in August because of his strong focus on the coronavirus pandemic. 
That latest video of his was the first time I’ve ever seen a normal-seeming video of a politician and seriously thought “Is that a deepfake?” The video quality is terrible. I know it’s unlikely, and he’s probably just trying to avoid the 25th, but what if he’s actually under deep sedation, or left the country, or dead or something?
Yay?
That’s what I posted yesterday: “Man, that is some bad CGI!”
I just heard that Twitter banned him permanently.
That’s huge. Thank fuck.
Can’t be trusted with Twitter. Still has access to the nuclear codes.
If he’s permanently banned from Twitter, we should probably resurrect the Trump suicide thread. I’m only half kidding.
Just to cite something even more official,
Butt-Hurt Trump No Longer Able To Take To Twitter. Melania Suddenly Activates Twitter Account; Declares “Nothing To See Here”
CLOSE THE THREAD! 
Seriously, though… it’s been fun, guys and gals. And to think I still haven’t seen Hamilton.
Well that didn’t take long.
Aw, man! What’s going to happen to this thread now?
(Seriously, I just saw this on the news, and all I could think of was why Twitter didn’t do it sooner. But at least they did it. What’s Trump going to do during the next 12 days if he can’t Tweet?)
Parler, presumably.
But he won’t be able to get his numbers there anywhere near what they were at Twitter—no, not even if every Russian makes a fake account there.
So he’s going to remain very, very unhappy.