Okay, now I’m confused. Do you really not consider a pie to be … pie? What elements of pie are violated? What elements of pie don’t fit?
Pizza is … pie.
In the meantime, have a muffin.
No more hair pie? … I hope not.
Little Jack Horner … thumb plum.
I could never have my cake and eat it too…
I answered pie, because I considered the full gamut of pies; savory, sweet, pizza, etc. I love quiche. I love fruit pie. I love pizza. Cake is a far more limited foodstuff, no matter how much I may love it.
However, in the event that the OP may have meant to focus exclusively on dessert pies, I have to ask… am I answering this question in the north or south of the US? My present location? A worldwide view?
If in the north, pie. Pie. PIE. Nothing makes me happier than seeing pie on the menu at a restaurant in the north. I can get cherry! Apple! Blueberry! Pineapple! Peach! Maybe more exotic stuff like gooseberry or quince! I can ask for a slice of cheddar on my pie, or ask for it heated, and I don’t get crazy looks.
If in the south, cake. Cake. CAKE. Pie in the south is never fruit pie. It’s sugar cream, meringue, grasshopper, pecan, etc. Sometimes it’s even some godwaful creation like a graham cracker crust filled with frozen Cool Whip and Nilla Wafers. I can stand pecan pie, but the rest makes me gag. I swear there is no fruit pie in the south. There’s fruit cobbler, which is okay if you like dumplings, but no fruit pie. Pie crusts are filled with congealed creamy things, not syrupy fruity things, and slices are served cold. Just not right.
So, from my vantage point, pie wins, but that’s because I have access to awesome pie. Cake is great as well, and warm carrot cake with cream cheese frosting is probably my 2nd favorite dessert of all, beating all pie except for warm apple pie served with a slice of cheddar cheese. Banana bread (IMO a variant of cake) is better than banana cream pie, too.
Cake, because though I like them equally, I find the Pie folk here snobby and arrogant about Pie. The Cakers vote cake without feeling the need to put down pie. You’d think it was pie in a landslide reading this thread but its pretty even. Go cake!
Also:
I now unleash the somehow as yet unmentioned secret weapon for cake:
PANCAKES.
On the whole, I’d rather have pie.
Looks at title of thread.
Looks around at all the suggestions.
Looks at Student Driver.
Quietly edges towards the cream pie table.
Grabs IvoryTowerDenizen’s banana cream pie and THROW IT AT STUDENT DRIVER!
PIE FIGHT!
I voted cake, but, after further consideration, would like to switch my vote firmly into the pie column.
That takes the cake.
Agreed.
Number of mentions of “pizza” on Wikipedia entry on pies: 0.
Also something for those who chose “cake” - you’re now one irrational number shorter than the rest of us. What are you going to do on 3/14?
(throwing a custard pie at Leaper)
You’re off your crocker. Pizza is a pie. It’s a pan-filled crust (or it makes its own pan with high sides) containing a variety of fillings and baked. Piiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Nah, pizza is bread with toppings. If pizza is a pie, then so is focaccia. Pies are made with pastry dough. Is it possible to make a pizza pie? Yes, absolutely. Take a store bought pastry shell and build it like a pizza. It’ll be a good bit different than a normal pizza.
Plus, pizza is not (repeat NOT) (necessarily) “pan filled crust.” You’d think someone who liked pizza so much would know that!
Pie by a landslide. One of the very easiest things to give up on my new “lifestyle” diet has been cake. I never have a problem saying no to cake. Thank goodness it’s usually “birthday cake” instead of “birthday pie.”
On the other hand we are warming up into pie season and I am the newly appointed family pie baker. There are so many different pies out there, how can one ever choose lowly cake? Key lime, lemon meringue, butterscotch, pecan, apple (made with three kinds of apples! do this and you will be the Best Pie Baker Ever), Bakerella’s pecan-cheesecake-pumpkin gooeyness, and cheesecake! How could the world exist without Huckleberry swirl cheesecake?
Christopher Kimble’s crust recipe in his Cook’s Bible is my go to crust recipe. It’s fabulous.
Pie. More variety, so much more tasty, and isn’t responsible for the horrible debacle of expensive, oversugared cupcakes. 
Adam Carolla fan, eh?
Pie, because cheesecake is more like a pie than a cake. I love cheesecake. I love fruit. I love fruit on cheesecake. I love fruit pie.
Or my sweetie-pie. 
“Cake” is a not-uncommon girl’s nickname here. And I mean the English word “cake,” not some Thai version. This has led to endless remarks among some expats about, um, “having” your Cake and eating her, too.