What ever happened to the word addictive?
Good God, BBS2000, if there was an award for best attempt to strangle, trample and bore a thread to death, you would win. But the challenge here is to fight this thread to the death and come out victorious. Better luck next time.
SSG Schwartz
So, we’re going to continue our filibuster, eh?
I WILL pull out the Bible and start reading…even better, I bet you guys would adore “Crime and Punishment”…
I have the transcripts of a Strom Thurman filibuster with the NYC phone book as a back up. Care to try it?
SSG Schwartz
So…this is how it ends, huh?
Yes, with a boob, not a whisper.
Mmm. Boobs.
Hang it up until tomorrow, folks, the night shift has arrived.
Good, could you guys clean out the fridge and actually dump the ashtrays for once?
SSG Schwartz
I agree. Take out those cardboard boxes, too.
Okay guys, this has been fun, but post-padding is prohibitted.
Thread knocked.
That’s not true. This hasn’t been remotely fun.
Right. I don’t even see a knocked thread either.
You’re oh-for-two, senor.
Ik ben de draadmoordenaar. De vreemde taal zal deze draadsluiting, maar snel krijgen. De overwinning is mijn!!! Bwahahahahaha!
Use caution when thread killing due to increased risks in driving, operating machinery, or performing other hazardous activities. Thread killing will cause drowsiness and may cause dizziness. If you experience drowsiness or dizziness, avoid these activities.
I just got back from lunch. It’s really hot in Tokyo, which means that it will be hard to sleep and I’ll be awake for a long, long time.
Now you guys, on the other hand, your eyes are getting drowsy, you need to get up in the morning. That bed is looking really soft.
Nah, it’s too hot to sleep. Gonna pull an all-nighter. Maybe we could have a slumber party. Anybody got any ghost stories?
It was a foggy and damp evening and the members of the SDMB were camping at Beggers Wood camp site. Before the patrol turned in for the night the Local village idiot walked into the kitchen shelter and said
*
Lads I feel I must give you a word of warning about camping at Beggers Wood camp site.*
At this point young Team of Scientists ** was seen to yawn and giggle so Cecil, the leader of the camp, subtly clipped him around the ear. Team of Scientists replied by jabbing a a lightly peppered wet kipper in Cecil’s ** ribs. They then continued to listen to what was said:
At this time of year it is not a good idea to be out of your tents too late, certainly you want to be safely tucked up in your sleeping bags and be sleeping well before midnight.
Why? * Asked* Team of Scientists ** in ominously leading kind of way
because its late dark and cold was the reply.
so it has nothing to do with the Woddland axe man said Cecil
*
Who told you that! * came the reply. They shouldnt have told you
*The lads down in town * replied Team of Scientists
Well I’d best tell you then,
*The Axe man was a 15th century charcoal burner who worked the forests round these parts. He and his son used to manage the woodland only chopping down trees that were ready. Once felled, chopped and dried, they would use the wood to make charcoal.
Now as you know this campsite is near the road that goes between two towns, but in those days all this area was woodland and the road was surrounded by trees. For a while a gang of ruthless thieves were working the area praying on rich people who travelled along the roads. The penalty for thieving in those days was death, if caught they would be hung in one of the towns so these thieves were very careful not to get caught. They always wore masks and disguised their voices when robbing people.
One day the axe man and his son stopped chopping a tree and started to eat lunch. They then herd voices. The axe man stood up and saw the thieves sitting near by. They had just robbed someone and were dividing up their takings. The axe man realised who they were, he saw there faces as they had removed their masks. He quickly ducked down but one of the thieves had spotted him.
The axe man quickly whispered to his son to go for help in the town and told his son the name of the men he had recognised. He’s son sneaked off whilst the axe man ran with the thieves following.
The boy soon got to one of the towns and told the people what had happened, they gathered a large gang together and led by the local magistrate they followed the boy into the woods to find the thieves.
After a few hours they came across the remains of the Axe man. The thieves had caught him, tied him up and chopped his head off with his own axe so that he could not tell anyone who he had seen. It looked like the thieves weren’t very strong or didn’t have much courage as it had obviously taken them several goes to hack his head off.
The towns people with the help of the boy found the thieves a few days later. They were convicted, tried and found guilty and were hung only a few days later.
Now some time after this happened some young boys went missing late one night around these parts. They were found days later in the woods, with there heads hacked off in much the same manner as the axe mans head had been removed.
Similar occurrences have happened a couple of times since. The locals say that it’s the thieves, roaming the woods and cutting of the heads of anyone who sees them. They are looking for the wood cutters son and wont stop until they have found him, but they never found him and still roam the woods to this day.
The locals say that if you hear chopping of wood late at night, that suddenly stops then hear the sound of a group of men running together, whatever you do don’t look at them, once you see them they will have you.
So lads, I strongly recommend to you, that if late tonight, you hear someone chopping wood. Then hear the sound of men running. Don’t look out of your tent. Don’t even peek through the door. I myself am going home now and I can tell you that like everyone else around here I always shut all my curtains at night.
Good night boys.*
And with that he walked off.
Cecil ** poured himself a glass of water and said Whoever’s last in the tent, make sure you do the door up. **Team of Scientists ** was the last in so it was his job to close the tent door. This he did with unusual speed. He also made sure that every eye was tightly fastened.
Silently the six lads got into there sleeping bags and zipped them up. **Cecil ** turned the small lamp out. Outside the air was still, a thick fog had descended upon the campsite. The boys lay there silently, all concentrating on falling asleep. But none of them could fall asleep. They were all thinking about the story they had just herd. **Team of Scientists ** lay there shivering. He didn’t feel especially cold, but he couldn’t stop shivering none the less.
Several hours had past, some of the boys had drifted in and out of sleep but **Team of Scientists ** hadn’t slept a wink. He was still thinking about the terrible tale they had been told about the poor woodcutter and his son and the thieves who chased them.
Like the rest of the SDMB gangl Team of Scientists’s ** ears were listening for the faintest sound outside, just in case. He kept telling himself it couldn’t be true but any noise outside and he would be wide-awake again, listening.
**
Team of Scientists had drifted off to sleep but suddenly woke up again. There was a faint sound coming from the forest near the campsite. The whole patrol was awake, but nobody said a word. They just listened. For a few minutes, not a single word was uttered inside that tent, they all just listened.
Very quietly, in the distance they could faintly hear what sounded like someone chopping at wood with an axe. Is that a woodpecker? Asked Team of Scientists. At this time of night, I don’t think so Replied** Cecil**.
Slowly the sound got louder until although still distant it was unmistakably someone chopping at a tree. They all sat there listening in silence. Nobody saying a word. Nobody seemed to be breathing either, not wanting to make any noise at all. Then most chilling of all, the chopping stopped!
Still nobody said anything. They were all concentrating on listening. A few minutes past without a sound from outside then faintly in the distance, they herd the sound of someone running. Deep breaths could be heard and frantic hurried steps. The sound got quickly louder and it sounded as if the lone runner was right in the camp. As soon as the runner sounded as if he had passed, Team of Scientists ** broke the silence by saying. I’m going to see who that was! Within no time at all he was hurriedly tying his boot laces and was frantically tugging at the tent door. The others just sat there in amazement except for the **Cecil ** who yelled No!
As soon as **Cecil ** stopped yelling at the vanished **Team of Scientists ** a new sound could be herd. More runners! The sound got quickly louder. Feet pounding and deep breaths. Then it suddenly stopped. And all was silent once more.
In the tent nobody moved. Thoughts racing through their minds. Cecil tried to yell out **Team of Scientists’s ** name but couldn’t. Partly for fear of their still being people outside.
After several hours daylight had arrived. Team of Scientists ** had still not returned and most of the gang had experienced little sleep. They were all wondering what had happened to Team of Scientists**. Would they find his mutilated remains in the middle of the campsite. Would they find his head still attached to his body.
The next thing that happened made the whole gang jump clean out of its skin. It was the Leader yelling *wakey wakey * which was the call for the gang to fall in for a morning inspection.
Where’s** Team of Scientists ** he asked. **Cecil ** proceeded to tell the leader the events of the night before. The tale was made easier to tell when he noticed that the leader had a lump of last nights Sausage Saxony on his boot. The leader wasn’t convinced by the tales of spooks but organised the boys into a search party. They searched the campsite then the woods and then the surrounding fields. By mid afternoon the leader felt it necessary to inform the local police of the disappearance.
The SDMB gang broke camp that evening and returned home. The leader with the help of a local policeman from home tried to explain the situation to** Team of Scientists’s** parents. The police aided by several locals continued searching. But** Team of Scientists ** was never found and neither was his body.
I am experiencing fizziness. Is that because of threadkilling?
No, it just means I farted in your water.
Or…to put it another way…“I’m in ur poolz, makin’ ur bubblez”.