Calling the cops on your child.

My brother-in-law caught my nephew with a bag containing a bunch of little bags of pot. He told his 16 year-old son to go to his room while he figured out how to handle this. Instead his son shoved him backwards over a kitchen chair, grabbed the pot and ran. My brother in law got up, called the cops, and told them where his son would be. Now his wife has left and his in laws are mad because he turned against his own family. I told him he did the right thing. What do you dopers think?

Sorry, but I’m with the wife in this scenario.

I wouldn’t have called the cops over this. But this is something that is very serious and I mean VERY. Drug usage is always a concern and violence is against a family member is never acceptable. And the fact that the kid would get violent over drugs is a major issue.

If this was a first time, I definately wouldn’t have called the cops. If the drug usage or violence was ongoing, then I might be apt to call the cops.

The things is calling the cops is a last resort. Most of the time it’s never persued out where the child is helped. Should the child actually wind up in a reform school or other institution even for a short period of time he’s gonna come out of it worse not better

You didn’t say whether or not the cops actually caught the kid or is the anger the result of the father just calling them?

In any case you now have a major hole in this family that is most likely going to need some professional help to mend

One vote for dad here.

calling the cops is a last resort. it means that the son has gone so far out of control, the parents (yes, both parents) have decided to wash their hands of the matter and hand it over to the police.

Vote for the dad, and not so much because of the drugs, but drugs + violence is no good and shows me the kid isn’t handling it responsibly at all.

The kid committed assault and battery and in some states it would also be domestic violence. He had enough pot to be considered selling not just personal use for which the could be legal repercussions on his parents.

Who turned on the family first?


A bag of pot… no call. A bag of pot clearly packaged in a way that indicates it’s ready for selling… possibly a call, depending on how the kid responded.

Pushing me over a chair, grabbing ready-to-be-sold pot, and running off? Hells yeah, that’s a phone call.

Pot smokers are not known for their tendency toward violence. Statistically they’re not the ones out robbing people for a fix, or beating the shit out of people when they’re high. The nephew’s physical response points to a larger issue that I would have no problem involving the police in.

I am with the dad. If the kid is assaulting his father and running off, chances are trying to handle it internally is not going to work out.

The kid raised his hand against his father. THe occasion for his doing so doesn’t matter.


I’m with Dad. It’s damn hard turning your kid in, but given the situation described this is not a kid just smoking up behind the garage but a kid who is already in trouble. I’d rather call the police and work through the legal issues than have to identify him in the morgue.

The kid is dealing. The question is, who does he owe money to? I wonder if the assault was fear for his own safety?

That said, barring anything else, I probably would not call the cops on my son the first time. While he is out his room gets strip searched, and we have one hell of an encounter session upon his return. We would then go to a defense attorney’s offices for a preliminary discussion of what he is up for.

I would TRY to control the situation first as a parent before I called the cops. I would also never let him get the drop on me again.

It’s not really the drugs for me, it’s the violence. You anti-calling-the-cops people would feel how if he’d fallen wrong and died?

Not to mention the trouble the kid is potentially bringing home by having pot packaged for sale there. What if he gets a disgruntled customer or competing dealer angry - the dad could hear a knock on the door and find the cops busting in, cuffing him, and going through everything looking for evidence of this “big-time dealer” that someone dropped a dime on. Alternately, he could find a couple gang members with guns who think that the guy is hiding out at the house and that he crossed them in some fashion.

A bag with a bunch of tiny bags in it indicates to me that the kid isn’t just using, he’s selling. And using physical force against the parents? HELL no, that doesn’t fly. I’m with dad.

Dad, and the battery is the deciding factor.

There’s not a chance in hell I’d call the cops on my child for selling pot, shoving or running. I think there is probably a good reason (in his mind) for the shoving and running if the kid is in danger of owing to someone else, and I know this through experience. I got involved in something I had no business dealing with at seventeen, and it’s pure dumb luck I got out of it before it got more serious.

There would be consequences but they’d be between us. It would involve the talk of a lifetime before another move was made.

I just don’t trust the police and don’t think jail would be a benefit at all for anyone involved.

Of course I’ve never had to deal with such a thing with my daughter and I am SO glad. If I truly felt threatened I might consider calling the cops. If it wasn’t the first time I might call. I don’t know.

I can’t believe his wife left him because he called the cops. The kid brought drugs into their house and physically assaulted him and she thinks he should have wagged his finger at the kid as he ran out the door? I just don’t get it. If she came home and her husband was selling drugs out of their kitchen and when she confronted him about it he pushed her over a chair would she just have cried and looked up numbers for therapists while he was asleep? There comes a point where it doesn’t matter that someone is family, for their sake and for your safety you involve the police and I think that this situation qualifies.

I’m with the dad, too, also because of the violence. Buying and smoking pot? That warrants a serious discussion and tossing of the kid’s room. Selling pot? Serious discussion, tossing the room, grounding, removal of the door and any and all cell phones and e-mail communications must be monitored. Physical violence against any family member at an age when he damn well knows better and drugs are involved? Bring in the cops.

Not to me, necessarily. When I was 16 I would get a “consortium” of friends together, pool resources, and buy a pound. Pound would be broken down into 16 ounce bags (17 if you include my pilferage:p). Just saying.

Turning over family to the police is low. Maybe if you are in Mayberry and you know Andy is going to have a heart to heart with the wayward tyke, but in real life? No way.

I have a 16 year old son. I cannot imagine him ever shoving me or knocking me down. If it reached a place where that was possible, I’d shoulder some of the blame.