Can anyone defend the Hummer?

In My Humble Opinion
61

[QUOTE=Bobotheoptimist]
If I had the money I’d have one. I’d park it right next to the Prius I’d also have, plant a big ol’ “NRA” sticker on the Prius and a “Gore” sticker on the Hummer.
[/QUOTE]
Only in Colorado!

I have often thought that someday, when I get my 24-foot poontoon boat (with a little putt-putt motor, just big enough to totter out into the middle of the lake, toss over an anchor and sit and read, unmolested, all day) I’ve thought the perfect vehicle for towing, launching and recovering it would be an Army surplus humvee. It’d be ugly and just barely roadworthy, so I wouldn’t be tempted to cruise around in it; it would be used only for the boat.

On the other hand, I think some people drive Hummers because of the name. I mean, really, it’s the same as saying, “I drive a Blowjob H3X. Do you drive a Blowjob? No, I didn’t think so.” One woman told me it makes her feel safer than anything else on the road. Translation: “If I’m in an auto accident, probably of my own making, I don’t care how many people are killed as long as I’m not one of them. If I’m safe, fuck you.”

The Hummer does nothing that isn’t done just as safely, conveniently, and stylishly with any other SUV, and a lot more efficiently. It’s poorly styled, garish and completely unnecessary. I don’t know about women, but I know a lot about men, and the men who buy Hummers do so because it’s illegal to wave their dicks around. Personally, I’d rather we legalize dick-waving; it’s have a lot less environmental impact and it’d be a lot smaller annoyance.

62

I hate to post consecutively, but I was writing my diatribe as **Atrael ** was writing his, or this would have been part of my previous post.

Yes, you can offer all kinds of reasons for buying one of these atrocities. And I can offer all kinds of reasons for buying a tracked armored personnel carrier – it wouldn’t cost THAT MUCH more (how much more is that, really) than the Hummer. So really, for the two times a year that your intersection floods and the two times a year that my road drifts shut, why don’t we both just buy stripped-down Bradley Fighting Vehicles and be done with it? When did we get the idea that we MUST be able to navigate every road at any time, regardless of the weather?

Yes, the H3, which is the smallest of the Hummers yet, is only slightly larger than other SUVs. So what? The Ford Excursion is more vehicle than anyone needs. No one *needs * that much automobile. Choices? Yeah, we have choices. We can start cutting back now and let our great-great-great grandchildren breathe real air, or we can choose our own personal comfort. It’s all about choices.

63

[QUOTE=ralph124c]
The fact is, we waste energy in totally ridiculous ways. Why we should single out one of them makes no sense
[/QUOTE]

I agree. Everytime I walk in Chipotle or McDonalds or Panera, I am depressed by the amount of senseless waste created by disposable plates, cups and utensils. Anyone who wants to pick on Hummers, or SUVs, is singling out one grain of sand in a beach of waste.

If we want to be serious about the environment, and about alternative energy sources, we need a complete culture shift in this country. And even then, we can do nothing to force our poorer worldmates to adopt greener lifestyles. A huge number of people don’t have clean DRINKING water, let alone clean streams and oceans.

64

[QUOTE=PunditLisa]
I agree. Everytime I walk in Chipotle or McDonalds or Panera, I am depressed by the amount of senseless waste created by disposable plates, cups and utensils. Anyone who wants to pick on Hummers, or SUVs, is singling out one grain of sand in a beach of waste.
[/QUOTE]
If you have a beach of sand to move and all you have is your hands, you don’t complain about the lack of a dump truck, you move one handful of sand at a time. If enough people grab enough handfuls of sand, we’ll make a difference.

65

[QUOTE=Sunrazor]
If you have a beach of sand to move and all you have is your hands, you don’t complain about the lack of a dump truck, you move one handful of sand at a time. If enough people grab enough handfuls of sand, we’ll make a difference.
[/QUOTE]

It goes faster if you use a Hummer.

d&r!

66

[QUOTE=Sunrazor]
If you have a beach of sand to move and all you have is your hands, you don’t complain about the lack of a dump truck, you move one handful of sand at a time. If enough people grab enough handfuls of sand, we’ll make a difference.
[/QUOTE]

The problem is that a lot of people aren’t grabbing any sand because they’re too busy pointing their fingers at the Hummer drivers.

67

IIRC, former President Clinton did a fairly credible job of defending the Hummer, for which men on both sides of the aisle are to him indebted. :wink:

68

People spend money on all sorts of stuff I consider over the top. Unless one lives in a tent, forages for food, and wears burlap feed sacks I don’t really think one can judge the consumer choices of others. Whatever is in question clearly provides utility to them.

Simply liking something is justification enough for ownership. Most crap I have around here isn’t all that useful at the end of the day.

[QUOTE=lokij]
I’ve always kinda wanted a used military Hummer… I have a weakness for military vehicles of all kinds, however.

Not that I would buy one before I get my Ferret!
[/QUOTE]

That’s cool, but real men drive French cars.

69

[QUOTE=Philster]
Cars are transportation and there is very little opportunity to enjoy them.
[/QUOTE]

Maybe that’s what cars are to you.

But I can assure you, this outlook does not apply to everyone. Are you unaware of all the auto enthusiasts who spend years painstakingly restoring vintage vehicles so they can drive a piece of history that stands out from the rest? The off-roaders who modify their vehicles? All the people who participate in amateur racing events? Or just an average person who buys a certain vehicle because he loves the way it looks or handles?

If you have a car that you love, every minute you spend driving it is an opportunity to enjoy it.

70

[QUOTE=Atrael]
Ok, back from meeting hell. So let’s see if I can explain.
[/QUOTE]
Okay, first up. I bought the Jetta because I wanted a diesel car. There weren’t a lot of options. Just the VWs, and some Mercedes and such I couldn’t afford. I bought a diesel because of the great gas mileage, the fact that the engines run forever, and with the intention of converting it to use vegetable oil which is great for the environment. I didn’t get the Beetle because I wanted 4 doors. I didn’t get the Passat because the Jetta was cheaper. And now I’m done… I just completely justified my purchase.

I still don’t think you’ve done a great job of defending why the H3 was the best choice for you. You keep using vague terms, like “that much more expensive”, when comparing 30K to 36K. That’s 20%! That’s a whole lot more expensive, if you ask me.

The only reason I mentioned the $14K Colorado is that the H3 is built on the frame of the Colorado. So you spent $22K on a “fancy” body.

My argument was never that I just thought they should get a “cheaper” vehicle. Hell, earlier in this thread I even justified Lambos and Ferrarris! I just see absolutely no reason anyone on the planet needs to pay for an H2 or H3. They offer absolutely nothing other than the name for the premium you pay, and in addition to offering nothing they destroy the planet and block my car.

How often did you use the H3’s “off-roading” capabilities when you owned it? 3 times a year, maybe? 4? And yet you drove it all those other miles NOT using that extra ground clearance. The same ground clearance that blocks small cars like me from seeing, and destroys your gas mileage. So I suggested purchasing another vehicle for those 3-4 times per year (obviously a guess) that you’d need it. My Jeep I bought in 1999 I use for this purpose. I drive it once a month maybe, just to make sure it still runs, but I obviously don’t need it’s 4X4 except maybe twice a year. Owning 2 cars may not make as much sense to you, and I understand that.

My point, and everyone’s point in this thread it seems, is that there was a car more suited for what you needed. You mention bad weather… there’s cars more suited for that. You mention a DVD player for the kids. There’s cars more suited for bad weather AND that have a DVD player option. You mention small enough for your wife. There’s cars that fit all 3 of those that are less expensive AND get better gas mileage AND don’t scream “I’m an asshole” to everyone that sees you in it. That’s all I’m sayin’.

71

[QUOTE=wasson]

My point, and everyone’s point in this thread it seems, is that there was a car more suited for what you needed. You mention bad weather… there’s cars more suited for that. You mention a DVD player for the kids. There’s cars more suited for bad weather AND that have a DVD player option. You mention small enough for your wife. There’s cars that fit all 3 of those that are less expensive AND get better gas mileage AND don’t scream “I’m an asshole” to everyone that sees you in it. That’s all I’m sayin’.
[/QUOTE]

What kind of shoes are you wearing? I bet I could find cheaper shoes that suit your needs better. And if not shoes, how about a watch, or an MP3 player, or whatever.

Why does the concept of “different strokes for different folks” go out the window when anyone mentions an SUV?

72

[QUOTE=T_SQUARE]
What kind of shoes are you wearing? I bet I could find cheaper shoes that suit your needs better. And if not shoes, how about a watch, or an MP3 player, or whatever.

Why does the concept of “different strokes for different folks” go out the window when anyone mentions an SUV?
[/QUOTE]
It’s not about “cheaper”. It’s about saying “this is what I need… X, Y, and Z.” Then finding shoes, an MP3 player, or a watch that fits X, Y, and Z. Preferably one that costs the least and does as little harm to my world as possible.

My point is that the Hummer does X, Y, and Z very poorly and the only reason one would have to buy one is that “it’s a Hummer!” Fine, whatever. Do what you want, but there is no way to defend that purchase other than to say “It’s a Hummer!”, which is what the OP asked for.

It’s good for off-road? No it’s not. It has options you can’t find anywhere else? No it doesn’t. It’s less expensive? Nope. Better gas mileage? Sorry, no. There is absolutely no way to defend or justify the purchase. Again, that’s what the OP asked for.

The only reason Hummers bother me has already been mentioned by myself and others in this thread. They’re a huge, ridiculous car that takes up too much space, is dangerous to others, and gets in the way. Even the H3 purchaser mentioned it was “only” 10 inches wider than another SUV. Well, that 10" sure does get in the way when parked on the street and sticks into my lane. Or parked in a parking lot next to me, where I can’t open my door when I park next to it.

Other purchases I consider wasteful, I can chaulk up to “none of my business”, like a Rolex watch that hides quietly on someone’s wrist. I don’t care about that, even though a $2 watch from Walgreens that keeps time just as well, because it doesn’t interfere with my business. A Hummer does.

73

[QUOTE=Atrael]
Ok, so basically this thread isn’t really looking for a discussion about hummers but rather just looking to bash hummer owners, and allow like-minded dopers yet another place to proclaim their righteous indignation? Glad I took the time to respond as a hummer owner to explain why it was a good choice for me. Ya’ll just continue on beating that dead horse a bit more to make yourselves feel superior.
[/QUOTE]

I’m in your corner Atrael. My uncle owns a H2 that he loves. He had a Jeep that he used for his outdoor excursions for many years that he eventually sold when he became a grandfather and replaced with the H2. He uses to get to his camp back in the woods, tow his boat, and occasionally off-roading. It’s very comfortable to ride in and I think it looks pretty sharp. It’s also much more family friendly for transportation than his old wrangler was. I look up to my uncle a great deal, I don’t know anyone who works harder at what they do. He has his own construction company that he built up himself over a lifetime of effort and has done very well financially for himself and his family.

I’ve tried imagining from the OP someone coming up to him in a parking lot and asked him “are you an asshole?”

To me that scene would say a lot more about the one asking the question than the type of truck someone drives.

74

[QUOTE=T_SQUARE]

That’s cool, but real men drive French cars.
[/QUOTE]

Perhaps, but not readily imported into this country; unlike the Pinzgauer. Also, do you REALLY want to deal with french parts suppliers? Really? ;>

75

I think the Hummers have an image problem. They are politically incorrect objects. They symbolize US aggression and the mentality of excessive consumption. It is also linked with the decline of the US auto industry because it is such a garish and prominent vehicle. Put a really fat guy in front of the Hummer and you get an image that highlights the faults with the vehicle and the USA.

You only have an excuse to use such a vehicle if you are off-road. Even then, there are much better vehicles than an all purpose behemoth. Get an ATV for Og sakes! You can get over more difficult terrain with less impact. Why do we want a vehicle where you can stuff a couple of fridges inside for regular driving? Why are we lugging around all that excess weight when vehicles typically only have 1 or 2 people inside? Well, maybe it has something to do with the fact that the whole American culture is about excessive consumption.

Cars should be built around the concept of minimalization and not about gigantism. If you need to haul a big load, go rent a real truck for the job. Don’t go around driving the Titanic for the few times a year when the space may be handy.

76

The hummer is like any other vehicle. Either you like or you don’t. It’s not my cup of tea but so are 95% of every other vehicle. I buy cars to suite my needs. If I wasn’t looking at relocation I can assure you I would be flingiing excess cash on something stupid. I can’t afford stupid at the moment. Stupid is defined as anything beyond what I really need.

I would love to sit in a Cadilac Esca-whatever or a anything else with 400 hp. The reality is that I"m driving 2 cars that get 33+ mpg.

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go.

77

[QUOTE=Chasing Dreams]
I think the Hummers have an image problem. They are politically incorrect objects. They symbolize US aggression and the mentality of excessive consumption. It is also linked with the decline of the US auto industry because it is such a garish and prominent vehicle. Put a really fat guy in front of the Hummer and you get an image that highlights the faults with the vehicle and the USA.

You only have an excuse to use such a vehicle if you are off-road. Even then, there are much better vehicles than an all purpose behemoth. Get an ATV for Og sakes! You can get over more difficult terrain with less impact. Why do we want a vehicle where you can stuff a couple of fridges inside for regular driving? Why are we lugging around all that excess weight when vehicles typically only have 1 or 2 people inside? Well, maybe it has something to do with the fact that the whole American culture is about excessive consumption.

Cars should be built around the concept of minimalization and not about gigantism. If you need to haul a big load, go rent a real truck for the job. Don’t go around driving the Titanic for the few times a year when the space may be handy.
[/QUOTE]

The Hell of it is, the Hummer might have interior room for 2 fridges, but the godawfully-high liftover means that you’d need a forklift available at both the shipping point and the destination to load/unload the fridges.

I hope the guy who claims he’s driven through 24" of water in his Hummer took it to his mechanic afterward to change out the axle lube and re-lube the chassis
or he’s gonna have lots of fun replacing very expensive components that will break at the most inopportune times.

Most people are smart enough to take a sick day or a vacation day when there’s 24" of water on the road. If the wife’s employer doesn’t allow for that then she should quit her job. The equity in the Hummer should tide her over until she finds another job.

78

[QUOTE=msmith537]
If you are the kind of person who sees a Hummer and says “look at that asshole” or considers the cost or environmental or social impact, then a Hummer isn’t for you. The person driving it doesn’t care what you think because it is the type of purchase that is more or less calculated to piss someone like you off.
[/QUOTE]

That someone would make a purchase “calculated to piss off” someone says a lot about a person. And that person’s single-digit maturity level.

I get kind of annoyed at SUVs in general, as well as sports cars. It just seems like a silly way to spend money to me. I drive a Toyota. It has enough room for the shit I tote around, gets good gas mileage, and is reliable. That’s all I need a vehicle to do. I am so very NOT impressed by other people’s “fancy” cars that I just don’t understand how having an expensive car is a plus. When I see someone with a really expensive car I think “well there’s a person with a very poor sense of perspective and value” or “there’s a shallow person”. I don’t think BETTER of them, certainly. I guess there are others who do, though.

My first exposure to a Hummer was in high school (late 1980s) when a classmate of mine had one. It was an old, Army surplus kind of thing, dingy army-green and it didn’t have a top at all. I think you had to throw a tarp over it when it rained–not a problem since we lived in Arizona. It was huge and ugly and uncomfortable and I think she got it because it was cheap. So when I started seeing people driving these H2 things, I went “whaaa??” Because to me it was like… why would a bunch of people with MONEY spend EXTRA money to get a fancied-up version of some ugly-ass utility vehicle?? I still think that. I think anyone who drives something that bad on gas mileage is nuts. I have a huge G20 van (Explorer conversion) but you know what? It’s been sitting in my driveway for over a year. I don’t drive it. We bought it for long road trips because it has a bed and a TV and stuff like that. Daily driver? Hell no. I got it in the divorce and now I need to sell it…

79

[QUOTE=wasson]
I just see absolutely no reason anyone on the planet needs to pay for an H2 or H3. They offer absolutely nothing other than the name for the premium you pay, and in addition to offering nothing they destroy the planet and block my car.
[/QUOTE]
:sigh: You see no reason, because you don’t have a need for one. Again and again in these anti-SUV threads, I see an attitude that if I don’t need something, nobody else does.

I drive a 06 Pathfinder. After about a year of research I determined that it was the best vehicle for my needs. It’s roughly the same size as an H3. From a specs and dimension standpoint, it’s pretty much a wash. The one thing the H3 does have is a fully locking rear dif. Nissan uses it’s ABS system for that.

From the Hummer site, the H3 shows up cheaper than my Pathfinder. So no premium for the H3 there.

The truth is you could probably get one standard size fridge in the back with the seats down. Might need to leave the lift gate open. And two strong guys would be able to load and unload it.

Supported by the fact that we don’t generally drive fork lifts around in kitchens.

80

[QUOTE=OpalCat]
That someone would make a purchase “calculated to piss off” someone says a lot about a person. And that person’s single-digit maturity level.

[/QUOTE]
No more so than the person who dislikes the owner of the vehicle without actually knowing the person.