New to this,sorry if posting on wrong page but im so needing advice…im in love with a 43 yr old male transexul.we have been together on and off for 5yrs and its only the last 12 months he came out.He says he is bi and gay.At the moment he is chatting on line and inviting men back to his. I feel so mixed up and hate sharing him.I know he is going through so much emotion,he is only happy when dressed up and goes out to pubs,meets strangers,gets beaten up and robbed a few times…I worry he will get badly hurt one day. Im so inlove with this guy but dont know how to deal with it when he has his opp next year. He also has anorexia and drinks till hes blotto most nights. Can anyone give me any advice how to help him? We dont live together and only see each other 3 times a week. He does not love me(he said im just a friend) we have sex,so im confused.I hate him talking about other men and what he does with them.I feel im dieing inside as i dont understand any of this whats happening.He also gets me to proform sex acts in front of the webcam on a transexual chat site(I love this man so much and would do anything for attention from him)He tells them im a friend,and again it hurts so much I cry inside.Thanks for listning excuse my writing im partdisabled and cant concentrate very well.What will happen to him emtionly after the opp?will he still want me around do you think?Thank you. Mary x
That’s really all you need to know. You can’t change him. (Hell, it’s hard enough to change yourself.) All you can do is be aware of what you’re okay with and what you’re not okay with. You’re clearly not okay with this. You owe it, both to yourself and this person you say you love, to be honest about that.
Listen to him. He’s telling the truth.
Listen to him. He’s telling the truth. Listen to your inner tears; they’re telling you your truth.
I don’t think he wants you around now, except as a warm and breathing sex toy. That’s certainly not going to change. And if you were okay with that, I’d be okay with that. But you’re not, so you shouldn’t let him do that to you. You’re a person, not a vibrator.
Time to move on, hon. Give yourself the space and opportunity to find a person who will give you the kind of relationship you *do *want.
I’m thinking maybe the two of you can try to remain friends, if possible, but just friends. If you don’t want to share him, it may be better not to be sexually involved with him.
You are in an intolerable situation where you are being abused. Please don’t let your love for him blind you to this. For your own mental health you must get away from him. You have nothing but more heartbreak ahead if you don’t.
Best wishes to you.
:eek:
First, how old are you ?
You do realize this things your doing on line is out there forever right ? If your living with this person, I’d be checking for hidden cams. If you don’t want to be doing this on line sex acts why are earth are you ? He sounds like the titanic and you’re not getting on a lifeboat. Get out.
Well, while reading your post I was truly hoping that this wasn’t a real situation and you were a troll looking to sucker a few people in. However, in case this is a legitimate call for help I will put my two cents in. Here is what you need to do. Walk to the front door, open it up, keep walking. Don’t bother to turn around and look back, just keep moving. You are being used and the road you are on leads to disaster. That you can take to the bank.
I don’t know you, but from the post you made I get the feeling that you are suffering from low self esteem, for I can think of no other reason any woman would put up with this crap. He uses you for sex, honestly admits he isn’t in love with you, makes you perform for his friends on camera and just to add icing to the cake he’s a drunk. (Notice that in that list of negatives I didn’t mention transsexual. I might not get the whole transsexual thing, but if you are comfortable with it, that’s all that counts) Please tell me what in that list appeals to you and makes you think that being in a relationship like this is a good idea?
The biggest red flag I see, the one that should really open your eyes is you said he "makes"you perform sexual acts on camera for his friends. For the love of God, he’s pimping you out in a sense so his friends can get off. Now if you are into that, knock yourself out, however it seems as if this is something you don’t want to do but rather do it to try and make this assclown happy. What type of man would force his girl to do this if she didn’t want to? Certainly not one who cares about his partner. If I was your father and found out the information you shared here I can guarantee you that I would be having a very long and direct conversation with Mr. Assclown. I wouldn’t resort to physical threats or violence, but I damn sure would do my best to get him away from my daughter.
I suspect that the majority of the replies you’ll get here will advise you to get as far away from this situation as fast as you can. You have asked advice from virtual strangers, you wouldn’t have done that if you thought what was happening was a good thing. You have two choices, dump this idiot on the curb or stay. If you choose the former it will be the best decision you’ll ever make in your life. If you choose the latter, I suspect that you will find a boatload of pain and heartache in your future. You are a human being, not some jerks sex toy. You deserve to not only love someone, but have them love you back. When you find a normal and healthy relationship, you’ll be amazed at how happy you can be. I wish you the strength to make the right choice. Good luck.
Yeah, I’d need to know your age and your sex. Are you male or female?
It kind of sounds like, the thing you should be asking yourself is; why is any of this, enough for you? ‘Just friends’ but does you, in front of a webcam? (What’s wrong with you that that’s okay with you?) He’s an alcoholic, (now or someday soon), and abusive, and you’re worried what he’ll be like after the opp? What difference will it make? It seems like no amount of bullshit and drama is too much for you, and from a ‘friend’ no less!
Go to a therapist or counselor to get some help. The problems are not his dramas and traumas, in any way. The problem is that you’re willing to go along, if not, actually drawn to this. Seriously, seek help.
1> The guy is running roughshod over her and emotionally manipulating her into performing sex acts on camera when she doesn’t want to. Who in their right mind would want to be friends with someone like that?
2> For her own mental health she needs to completely sever the tie. She can’t move on, nor can she address what’s going on with her that she put up with this shit, until he is completely out of her life. As long as he’s there in some capacity, the temptation to “wait” for him or to please him for attention will remain. That’s not a healthy state of being.
Finally, to the OP. RUN AWAY, cut off all contact, and then find yourself a professional therapist so you can start sorting out how you ended up in such an unhealthy, abusive situation in the first place. If you don’t face that head on, it will almost certainly just happen again with the next guy.
I’ll have to recheck but I think you hit all the buttons.
Well, no mention of the general level of personal responsibility for morbid obesity, the relative merits of American vs European educational systems, why Kate Bush is the finest musician since J.S. Bach or the possibility getting a quality meal at Olive Garden, but still a pretty good start.
6/10
Probably not.
Oh yeah and handicap parking.
This guy sounds like a winner on all counts. I say do whatever you have to to hold onto him. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and you regret it for the rest of your life if you let a guy that awesome get away.
Were there kittens? I tried to make it through the whole thing, but I saw no mention of kittens and lost interest.
Are you by any chance in a wheelchair?
Thank you for loving us too.
Isn’t that a contradiction?
As Loach said, all the buttons. 
Now back to the OP, if you are serious and not just chain-yanking, then get the hell out of there, now.
RIGHT now.
What about tipping?
StG
Is he circumcised? Declawed?
Well, if we go there, we might as well double down and add the whole “Soccer is the Noble, Pure & True Sport, while American Football is only fit to be watched by drunken, brain-damaged, wife-beating chronic masturbators.”