Can you help me be a sex goddess?

In My Humble Opinion
1

grin Okay, I’m admittedly bad at coming up with titles, but I’ve got some questions concerning sex, namely oral sex.

Its always bothered me that no ones ever told me what I could do to give better head. I understand that its an akward topic to bring up to a lover and its true, I’d probably misinterpret it as rejection and be scarred for life.

But I honestly cant believe that with -no- instruction, Ive single-handedly become a blow-job queen.

So I figure… lets ask a bunch of nameless/faceless men what women can do to give better head.

and then I thought… Lets expand it. What does the other sex do in bed that irks you? What do they do that you wish they’d do more?

I figure with collective knowledge, we might end up impressing our SO’s beyond their wildest dreams.

And if all else fails, it’ll still be fun to bag on the opposite sex, right? =)

2

As far as oral sex, the only thing that makes it bad for me is teeth scraping. It’s painful and kills the arousal. Just WATCH THE TEETH and I think you’ll be fine.
As far as other things in bed, it always turns me (and my friends I’ve spoken to about it) on when a woman touches herself a little now and then. It’s erotic because it’s got that voyeuristic quality and because it usually indicates the woman is comfortable with her own body. As for dislikes, I generally don’t like being spoken to like I’m in a porno movie (f*** me! You’re so big!)
Other than that, I’m open-minded.

3

I know, for a fact, that tranvestites are better blowjobbers than women.

4

Ok, so I’m not a guy, but I talk about sex, etc. with enough of my guy friends to have some of their opinions to give to you…[ul]
[li]Just bobbing your head up and down doesn’t feel as good as when you just use your tongue for part of the time.[/li][li]Deep throating looks kewl, but the only part that is really affecting him are your tonsils.[/li][li]Sometimes doing the same thing will keep him in pleasure, sometimes paces need to be changed. Pay attention to all reactions he has.[/li][li]No teeth in any circumstances. If you can’t fit the head in your mouth, use the friction of your tongue instead of scraping the thing in a failed attempt at making him come.[/li][li]Just because it worked on one guy doesn’t mean it’ll work on all guys.[/li][/ul]

5

Umm…I have to second a lot of what has been said. A good friend gave me three simple rules for giving head, other than do it often.

  1. Never use teeth.
  2. Don’t do the same thing for too long, they will get bored.
  3. Swallow. It’s already in your mouth, why bother to spit it out?
6

This is a good (educational, non-porn) site on all sorts of sex, oral and otherwise.

7

Maybe better than some women… :wink:
So far as the OP, it is really difficult to put into words what makes for good oral sex. As I was thinking, “Now this is a subject I know something about!”, I started thinking that typing out some techniques does not do them justice. For example, I can tell you that there is an interesting technique when you are working with a guy who has a less than average size member that involves actually placing the member between your cheek and gums/teeth and manipulating it that way–but I realize that in written words, it doesn’t sound in the least erotic or even pleasurable. (Believe me, men have orgasmed instantly upon demonstration of that technique!)

It is really difficult to give any specific instructions in the medium. Essentially, the only really useful info you can get has already been given but let me add some things.

[ul]
[li]Get into the experience yourself. Don’t just perform oral sex as a duty or chore. Enjoy yourself while doing it. You will have a much more erotic experience and so will your partner.[/li][li]Don’t be afraid to experiment. There is no right or wrong way to do things. Something as simple as slightly changing your angle can have an incredible effect on the recipient.[/li][li]Remember that your tongue is muscular–it can be used gently to lightly lick or more forcefully to actually massage. Take advantage of the broad spectrum of techniques that offers you.[/li][li]A practical tip concerning spitting or swallowing. (—Could Be Gross!!—) While YMMV, most often it is not the taste of the semen that causes the problem in swallowing–it is the texture. When semen is first ejaculated, it is rather thin and watery. This is the time when you should swallow. In a few moments after ejaculation, the semen becomes thicker and is much more difficult to swallow–mentally, if not physically. So, if you really want to swallow, your best bet is to do it either during ejaculation or immediately following. It makes it so much easier.[/li][/ul]

8

Sorry to yell, but it is important to be able to communicate what works. From my experience, the best sex I have ever had was with women who might be considered average as far as sexual prowess, but they communicate, so it was better for both parties. A woman who is sexually talented, but doesn’t care to enlighten me as to what she likes, won’t do much for me or herself. (…or is it that she may have to end up doing it herself? I forget.) Sex is an activity that can encompass all the senses. Take advantage of that.

Look for subtle clues in his motions. Let him see what you are doing. We men are generally very visual creatures.

Listen for pleasureable sounds, make sure you are heard, too. That doesn’t mean you have to scream, but let him know you like what he is doing to you as well as that you like doing what you are doing for him. A soft moan to convey that you genuinely like what he is doing can encourage him to keep up the good work. I don’t care for talking dirty, but some people really get off on that. You won’t know unless you ask, or try. Tell him what makes you feel good. He will feel so much more accomplished if you let him know he has pleasured you. If he is doing something wrong, gently correct him. We men have fragile egos and it is better to redirect out attention and focus on the positive than to chastize for the negative.

Savor the taste of the kisses you share. Enjoy the flavor of the moment.

Feel what you are doing. Men like to be touched, too, but we ARE different than women. Let him feel you, but guide him gently so that he is turning you on. It is OK to ask him to be gentle if he is too rough. This is for you too, right? Let him guide you to his erogenous zones.

Take in the smells of the surroundings and each other. Be clean–BOTH of you. A bad smell is a quick turnoff, as I am sure you will agree, as can too much cologne or perfume. If you use it use just a hint. At the same time, the musky smells of two people in heat can be quite stimulating.
As far as ORAL sex, I would agree with what you have probably already read. One thing that drives me crazy and is a definite don’t for me anyways: Don’t concentrate on just the head. There is more to the organ than just the knob at the end of it.

You say you want him to think you are a goddess? Make him feel like a god without overinflating his ego, and you will get there together.

9

sigh I know I’m going to regret this, but in the name of better head, here goes… There’s a cute little line in the otherwise lame little movie Scream 2, where one of the girls (a sorority girl, of course), mentions about giving head “harmonica style.” Apparently, I was the only person in the theater who got it (interpret that as you will). Basically you just run your lips along the shaft (lips and shaft should be parallel to each other), occasionally (or often, preferably often) slipping your tongue out for that added little je ne sais qua.

It’s not the absolute bestest of techniques - it probably won’t get a guy off as quickly as some others - but it feels great and is a nice change from the traditional “bobbing for walnuts” approach.

Okay, now that I revealed way too much (I can’t even imagine the questions I opened myself up to), I want some sex tips in return. Come on ladies, what moves make you moan and thrash like a deaf epileptic? I know about licking the alphabet (yes, yes, many capital T’s), so give me something else that’s nice and juicy and that will, well, you get the idea…

10

I have fruit-flavoured intimate deodorants.
I like to eat pussy that tastes like pussy, not lollypop.

11

I mean, I HATE fruit-flavoured etc.

12

SURE ya do… I believe you. Honest. :smiley:

13

Hmm. Well malkavia, just the fact that you seem willing to give head without much pleading is a big mark in your favor. :slight_smile: Pay attention to what everyone else has said- it’s all true. I don’t have a huge database of experience on which to draw, but luckily I’ve had more oral sex than any other kind. So I would like to add a little…

1- A guys’ nuts are also an erogenous zone. If you gently massage them while giving head it will enhance the experience for him.(At least, that’s how it has always been for me) But DON’t squeeze or pull on them! Cup them in your hand a move them around a little with your fingers. That should do it.
2- Be gentle be gentle be gentle be gentle. If you use your free hand on the guys’ shaft, don’t pull on it real hard or grip it like the joystick in a video game. This has happened to me before and it was the BIGGEST turnoff I’ve ever experienced.

You probably have never had a guy say anything to you about your technique because they were happy enough that you were just willing to DO it. As for your other questions-likes, dislikes, etc., I can only speak for myself.

LIKES: She’s never in a hurry, and is always completely focused on what we’re doing. Boring sex is almost worse than no sex. Sex is also more fun when a woman is a little agressive and uses her entire body, i.e.,she wraps her arms or legs around me when convenient. The physical closeness is the biggest turnon for me.

DISLIKES: Women who lie about having an orgasm, and then complain about their sex life later. If you’re not happy or want/need more, just SAY SO! Also, women who say things that you KNOW aren’t true just to stroke your ego. Examples: “Your cock is the biggest I’ve ever seen!”,“You’re the best lover I’ve ever had!” etc. You get the idea.
But the absolute WORST is the “dead fuck”. This is a woman who just lies there. I’ve never personally experienced this, but I’ve had enough friends who have to know I don’t want to go there. If a woman is just going to spread her legs and lie there, how is that any better than jerking off?

Damn, this is a long post. And I haven’t even had that extensive of a sex life.

14

It’s less embarrassing to tell your friends about later?

15

Wow. You guys all rock my socks. I’m an all-over type of gal… in that… just focusing on one part of the male genitalia seems like a waste of perfectly good time to get to know the rest of him. From what I can tell… a really good blowjob includes hands… though Im admittedly nervous when handling the family gems. :wink: Just dont wanna massage the wrong way and end up with a knee to my head or anything. Ive also noticed that some guys really seem to get off on slipping your hand uhmm… alittle further back… but again… If you try it and it backfires… EEK! Is it worth the attempt? Is there an angle that works/feels the best… Im generally the happiest when Im on one side or the other with him on his back and me sort of draped against his side, my ass about even with his chest but not directly on top of it… because of the way Im curved around, he can see me, I can see him… and he still has the option of touching me if he feels led to. Im almost afraid thats a rut though… I dont recall the last time I was in a different position… Slight variations perhaps, but nothing drastically different. Is there an angle with the least chance of teeth contact or just better stimulation? I also have a tongue ring… Im curious if anyone has any tips or tricks for that one. Its kinda neat but I havent found it to really differ the way I give head.

My advice to going down on chicks.

Refrain from focusing all attention on the clitoris. Its nice off and on… but intense, persistant stimulation of the clitoris becomes a bit painful and can completely turn me off to the point where attempting to orgasm for the rest of the encounter is pretty much out of the question.

Tease. Alot. Omg. I hate it at the moment… but it is SO worth it… lick a little here and there… dip your tongue inside ever so slightly and back out just as quickly… really build it up. Water tastes so much better when you’re really thirsty. =) Also, the further down you manage to tease, the more excited I become. I cant say for all chicks because everyones different about their ass, to put it bluntly. =) But if neither of you have “ass issues”, a deep lick right when she’s on the edge will send her over… and over… and maybe over again. =)

Something else I dont quite get. I used to shave, like, completely. Most guys seemed to be into it, so no problem… though the idea of looking somewhat pre-pubescent “down there” never set right with me. So my current asked me as politely as possible if I would just let it grow back because he likes it better that way. So now Im completely confused. Does it honestly make that much difference? Do guys have really strong convictions about how a chick styles her pubic hair?

Boy, Im just an endless pit of curiosity.

16

Make that… “My advice “on” going down on chicks”
It must be late, Im beginning to speak as though English is my second language. Wouldnt be too bad, 'cept I’d have to learn a primary one.

17

Malkavia, I think I love you.

18

Read Cynthia Heimel’ “Sex Tips for Girls”, particularly How to be Good in Bed.

Bookstores usually put it in the humour section but they don’t know what they’re talking about. (Well…sex IS funny.)

19

Trust me on this one, braces with those rubber bands on them are a no-no.

20

Well…
I’m probably not the best guy to ask about this as I have never orgasmed from getting a blow job.
But…

Things I like

Enthusiasm This is key for me. I like sex when it is fun for both of us. Tell me you want to suck my cock and make me believe it. (because I would never want one of those in my mouth)

I have never gotten a hummer. I hear those are nice.

Otherwise if you could give your sister a lesson on the subject using me as a test…I think I would like that