Can you help me be a sex goddess?

In My Humble Opinion
21

A lot of guys claim to like a shaved pussy, but I think it’s a learned instinct. If you’ve ever looked at PLAYBOY, most of the women in it have very little pubic hair. Since PLAYBOY is where most guys see their first naked woman, they get the idea that less hair = attractive. Me? I like hair. The more the better. Seriously. I wouldn’t even care if her ass was hairy and it was spilling onto her thighs in front. It’s just how I am. A hairy woman seems more “earthy” to me, and closer to her natural state. (I don’t like most of the women in PLAYBOY because between the bleached hair, fake tits, fake tans, and shaved pussies they seem like artificial freaks of nature. Penthouse is even worse.) If I got into a relationship with a bald-beavered woman, I’d probably let her know somehow that I preferred more of a forest down there than a plain. To answer the question though…it depends on the guy. But it’s your body, do what you want. If you feel going with something that will meet near universal approval though, grow a medium-sized triangle, trim it short and leave it at that.

I’m surprised matt_mcl hasn’t posted here. Gay guys usually know what makes a good blowjob better than anyone, even evilbeth. Although to be fair, she seems to know more than just about any woman I’ve seen.

To answer your post evilbeth, the type of friends I have would sypathize if I told them I was with a dead fuck. And admitting I jerk off doesn’t embarrass me in the slightest. At least Rosie Palm will always be “in the mood.” :slight_smile:

22

I’m easy. Shaved? Fine. Neatly trimmed? OK. Full bush (under control)? Works for me. It’s kind of like, “Here are the keys to a sports car…does it matter if it’s blue with fabric seats, or red with a leather interior?” No, as long as I have a good time driving it.

If you’re going to shave completely, girls, keep up with it, especially if you anticipate a good time. Like malkavia mentioned with getting head, don’t just concentrate on the clit, right? I’m all for all-around licking, sucking, and nuzzling, but razor stubble is a little irritating. If you don’t like rough razor stubble on a guy’s face, well, most of us don’t like it down there, either.

Some guys do have a hairy fetish, but a lot of us don’t like a forest (or a treasure trail, for that matter). It all depends on the guy.

As with anything sexual, ask. Talk, find out what he (or she!) likes, and go from there. Guys are very visual, and will get very turned on by their own particular thing, be it a shaved twat or a bushy one. For casual sex, styling is overlooked, but once you’re in a relationship, it’s important for you both to discuss your likes and dislikes.

To go back to my somewhat lame sports car analogy, I really don’t mind what color my car is, but it better be clean!!! Not to be too graphic here, but…aw, screw it, it’s too late for that…

I’ve had times where everything’s going nice, we’re both getting worked up, I start to slowly descend, kissing, licking, taking my time and being attentive, all that good stuff…I start to zero in on my target, and it smells like rubber or bad sweat!!! Blecchhhhh! That is truly a turn-off. And mind you, I don’t go for skanks. I’m talking about girls who dress nice, and shower, and wear a fragrance, but who just may not know how to properly clean down there.

Now, lots of guys like to joke about girls who smell like fish, but I got news for you, guys: we’re no bed of roses when we’re sweaty either. (this, of course, coming from conversations with female friends!). And I’ll admit it - out of curiousity after a good exercise workout, I’ve swiped my hand in my crotch and smelled it, and it stinks! Male or female, we all sweat, though granted, you ladies do have more nooks and crannies, but either way, we should all bear this in mind if we’ve got intimate plans going. It’s only considerate, and isn’t that part of what love is all about?

OK, so this has turned into a short story here. Sorry. I’ll reiterate two important points and then be on my way:

Several people in this thread (and in others) have mentioned the fact that they talk to friends of the opposite sex. This is key. If you can find a friend or two who will talk, please do it. It’s an invaluable way to learn or get different opinions without the hangups of actual sex involved.

When you are with that someone special, talk with them! Find out what they like, tell them what you like. Having sex with someone who’s not doing something right, and your not saying anything, isn’t fair to either one of you. If they can’t handle a gentle critique, they’re probably not worth being with in the first place.

23

Here’s my ideal BJ:

That’s a good start.

Woman gets between your legs, as that way her tongue is on your underside (where it feels best) (is that called the frenulum?)

She slowly takes it into her mouth and holds it there for a while, gently and slowly working her tongue. She gradually works into her head bobbing.

The above mentioned “Harmonica method” is nice a change of pace from bobbing, but only for a short bit.

When I’m getting close, She’ll take her hand and put it around the base (making sure that there is plenty of saliva already down at the base), squeeze moderately hard, and slip her hand up and down at the same pace her head is going up and down. Like Colt 45, it works every time.

Also, re: woman’s pubes style – I don’t like fully shaved. It’s kinda creepy. Also, I don’t like the out of control jungle bush either. Anywhere from shortly trimmed to a bit bushy is just fine with me. :slight_smile:

24

My compliments on this analogy. It’s a good one.

25

Re: Women’s Pubic hair

I personally am a huge fan of having it totally shaved. If you want to analyze and blame porn for why I find this most attractive, fine. Regardless its what I like. Now, taking a step back I don’t really care, and I understand how much of a nuisance keeping it up can be. If you would rather not shave I won’t find you any less attactive in general. The question for me is where you shave, and not. For example I’m familiar with one girl who shaves everything thats on the vertical plane (ie the front of the mound), but nothing once you turn that corner. This makes no damn sense. The front of the mound is where hair is typically a moot point, and for some girls it prevents an uncomfortable chaffing so its even a plus. The underside around your lips and ass are where I think, the smoother the better! Now I find this visually erotic, but thats not the best arguement for it. The real proof is in two factors. 1) The only real downside to giving head is getting hair in your mouth, and 2) I can let my tongue focus on every bit of skin without any obstacles. So point 1 is going to make me more eager to go down (an I’m damn enthusiastic as it is) and point 2 is going to make the time I spend down there more effective, and better for you, I promise!

In short, you’re generally going to be better served grooming those areas because most men prefer it that way, and it is going to hold less of that sweat funk. If you’d like, leave it in the front, away from the lips, and that should set aside any mutual hang-ups about the prepubesent conotation.

Re: Giving a good blow job

The most critical factor is without comparison, enthusiasm! Enjoy it, and make sure you let us know you enjoy it both personally and in pleasing us. A very close second is NO TEETH! This is obvious, and if its too big for your mouth, don’t start bobbing like a butter churn. Mouth, lips, and tongue can combine to be terrific even if you can’t deep throat. That said, if you can take it in your mouth, don’t hold back! The third, and nearly as important factor, is lubrication. For many women the hand is a necessity of a decent blow job, especially considering the no teeth mandate. If you’re going to use your hand, nothing other than light caressing should be done without lubrication. A grip pressing over our head, and tugging at the skin on the shaft hurts. You ladies can relate here, you can never have too much lube.

So if you can bring all these things together, your on the road to BJ queen. Once you are aware how much mouth you can offer without teeth, you’ll know where to proceed. Suck on it, and make sure you leave plenty of saliva behind. Use your tongue all over in the beginning. Lick firmly and frequently. Use your tongue while you have it in your mouth as well. Now if you can’t easily mouth the cock once you are both ready to quicken the pace, don’t try. One nick of the teeth, and you’ve lost whatever build-up you started. In this case, you’ll still be quite good if you are able to marry using the lips and tongue on the head while making long slow strokes up and down a well lubed shaft with one hand, caressing and scratching the balls in the other. Of course you’ll want to vary some of the details, the angle you hold it, the direction your head is facing, the saide your hand is holding from. Once he’s about to come, do not, under any circumstances change what your doing. This is not the time to look up at him and smile (although this is goood in the beginning) and in turn removing your mouth from the head. This is not the time to start stroking madly on the shaft, continue the same pace, be it quick or slow. The one variation which could help is slightly sucking harder, or squeezing a bit tighter, try and hold the pace and rhythm, but the extra friction is usually a plus.

I might come back and offer more in a bit.

Finally remember, my advice may not work for everyone, so communication is obviously critical.

26

Okay, I went and checked out the OP’s homepage. Hey malkavia, if you ever want personal instruction in all the stuff we’ve been talking about in this thread, just let me know. :smiley: :slight_smile: :wink:

27

“I’m surprised matt_mcl hasn’t posted here. Gay guys usually know what makes a good blowjob
better than anyone”
I noticed that for many BJ topics. I guess he is out either getting or giving them, so too busy to post :slight_smile:

28

This is classic sig material!

I’ll second Omni’s mention of the fact that, most importantly, when you know we’re about to blow a load, do not stop what you’re doing or how you’re doing it! Holy crap I can’t tell you how distracting that is.

And thanks, Lizard.

I sure could go for a long drive right about now…

29

Meephead wrote:

Especially because the most sensitive part is on the bottom BELOW the head.

Actually, my most-sensitive spot is a little lower than it is on the “average” guy. If you stopped at the edge of the glans, you’d definitely miss it.

30

Stop worrying about technique and concern yourself with your lover’s pleasure. This is the true key to being a great lover. It’s like music; someone can play all the right notes but it falls flat because they have no passion for what they are doing.

I don’t know how many times I’ve had a lover that did all the “right” moves and had no real heart. It ALWAYS falls flat. Trust your instincts and have enough communication with your lover so they feel safe in telling you what they want. If you are uncomfortable, stop. Allow your lover this same right.

31

I agree. this is why dead fucks (be they male or female)are such a downer. They obviously don’t care too much how the other person feels.

Ladies, what is a male “dead fuck” like? I wrote that above to be fair, but I can’t say I’ve ever heard women discussing the phenomenon.

I think I’ve responded to this thread quite often enough, thank you.

32

Men can be dead fucks just as easily as women. A guy rolls you on top of him and basically stops at that is not someone Im going to continue to sleep with. End of story. And thats saying alot… I -love- being on top… but really… When Im on bottom, I’ll touch, caress, dig my nails into your back, thrust my hips to match your pace. You can TELL Im into it. And I expect the same from my lover. Just because you’re on the bottom doesnt mean you’re out of the game. A small hip thrust goes a long way in that position, the feeling of strong hands holding onto my hips and occasionally guiding me is a definate plus… and my breasts are so -obviously- right there for the taking that, if ignored, I begin to feel a little cheated.

I also find silent men a complete turn off. I dont want you screaming louder than me, necessarily (Though if Im really -that- good, dont hold back. =)), but girls want to know they’re doing well just as much as guys do. And a little encouragement sends me into a frenzy as it is. Basically… if it looks like you’re enjoying it, you bet your ass Im gonna keep doing it.

33

I’m not faceless and don’t like to feel nameless and there’s no such thing as good head as far as I’m concerned. I’d much rather be touched there with your fingertips while being kissed and nibbled with your mouth up here at my face where we can see each other. Yeah, OK, I’m weird, so? You asked.

34

Odd as it may seem, I am very flattered by this statement. Thank you. You know, everyone has at least one talent–some are more marketable than others but everyone’s got one–I guess this is probably mine. Maybe matt and I should get together and discuss techniques!

Omni I just want you to know that while I was sitting here reading your post, I realized that I was mindlessly licking and tonguing at my thumb in a rather lewd manner. I’m sure the hairy guy staring at me through the window thanks you!

35

Lizard – I think malkavia gave a valid example of a “dead fuck”. To me, male or female, a “dead fuck” is anyone who just “vanishes” during sex. It’s like they are so disconnected from you, from their own body… Christ, you could just mail them an orgasm and they’d be just as happy.

They are just not there. Or worse, they are only there for their own pleasure… and I hate to say it but I’ve been with far more men who have this mind set than women. Some men only care about their own pleasure; and a lot of women buy into that. They have to please their man and it doesn’t seem to matter to them if they derive pleasure from the act or not. It’s really sad.

Sex should be about pleasure; for both partners. Lovemaking is beyond this; it’s about pleasure with a true element of love from both parties.

I’m not opposed to discussing the basics of technique but be aware that what tickles one person’s fancy does not necessarily tickle another’s…

36

Come to think of it, I know exactly what you mean. My last semi-serious girlfriend (three and a half years ago now) mentioned that her ex was like this, and she therefore preferred to be on the bottom. This gave me pause, since she was 5’4" and ~140 lbs., while I am 6’4" and back then weighed 260. (Now I’m even bigger) To be honest, I was worried I would crush her. But we never actually ended up having intercourse (long story), so it didn’t really matter.

I did have sex with a Mexican woman on top who was very petite about two months ago. I put my hands under her butt and practically lifted her up and down. She really didn’t have to thrust much at all. But she couldn’t have weighed more than 120, so I’m not sure if I could ever do this with the average American woman. But I’d sure like to try. I like having the girl on top in general. I’m so much larger than most women that me being on top scares me.

Oh, that skill is quite marketable. Just be careful-it’s illegal outside Nevada. :D:D
I’m sure if anyone could teach you something matt_mcl could. Oral sex is practically a science to most of the gay men I know. (Although I don’t really “know” matt_mcl)
Damn. And I said I wasn’t going to write any more replies to this thread. Oh well.

37

Lizard,

My boyfriend’s 6’6 and somewhere between 220 and 260, Id say. So long as you’re supporting -some- of your weight either on your hands or on your shoulders, you’re not going to crush anyone. In fact, my boyfriend can lay completely on top of me with his hands on my breasts and I can still breathe… granted, Im a far cry from 120lbs. cough. But still. Humans are pretty resiliant.

38

malkavia, thanks for asking this question…I’ve learned a lot! (And from the responses I’ve read here, I think I’m doing most (well, at least some) of it right!) :eek:

So a few thoughts of mine, in random order (and I feel so darn weird posting this stuff):

HAIR: You guys could shave too once in a while! The sesnsations (texture, smell) are all so different…if only it wasn’t so freakin’ annoying (for the shavee) when all the short curlies grow back…

IMHO, the person who invents a pill or cream that grows hair where you want it and ungrows hair where you don’t want it will have Bill Gates as his busboy, he’ll be so rich.

GAGGING: Any advice here? I have a terrible time with that…

HYGIENE: Yes! Yes! Yes! Clean is a good thing! Gallons of cologne; NOT a good thing! And Drakkar Noir will ALWAYS remind me of my sister’s ex (who pissed me off) so don’t even THINK about wearing that!

TALKING LIKE A PORN STAR: I can’t get into that, so don’t ask. It seems kind of silly. But I do like to let my partner know whem I’m enjoying him!

39

With the actual member touching the back of your throat or with the semen after ejaculation?

If it is the member, just don’t put it that far back in your mouth. Given a choice between getting a BJ from someone who is gagging and wretching but takes it all in and someone who only takes half of it but seems to be enjoying it and doing well, most guys are gonna go with the partial-suck.

If it is the semen being ejaculated that is the problem, then swallow immediately upon ejaculation. The semen is more fluid at that point and less likely to cause gagging reflexes.

I wish I could make money doing that! Now that would be a job! Sadly, my choices are doing it illegally or doing it over the phone or on-line. Since getting arrested for fellatio is not in my plans and giving audio & cyber-BJs is just not not satisfying, I guess I’ll just have to stick with private enterprise!

40

[homer]mmmm, private enterprise[/homer]

beth, thanks, glad to hear you enjoyed it, and I was doing my best to keep it clinical and not sexy!

BTW, I think its high time we got some detail out of the ladies. What gets you off? Sadly, I think this is going to be fruitless since every womans preference varies so widely. You girls can’t even agree on internal versus external, or both. I usually need to reserve about 2 weeks in the beginning of every relationship to relearn how this one likes it. I can’t say i mind the learing at all, just as long as she’s eager to coopoerate.