This is true. All women are not the same and will not react the same way to this type of information. Some will see it as a deal-breaker, but some will not.
Women will drop partners for all kinds of reasons, good or bad. You can’t control what an individual woman needs in her partner. If you feel you need to disclose this prior act, then you will end up with a woman who is fine with it. But, you have to try and meet women and date to know which woman matches you and who you match up with as well.
Frankly, I’m a woman and I’m getting a bit offended by your assumption that all women think the same way and feel the same way. I see absolutely nothing whatsoever wrong with engaging a prostitute, if that’s what gets your rocks off (or has in the past). In fact, this American woman firmly believes that all sex trade should be decriminalized.
I would no sooner reject a potential love interest for hiring a hooker than I would explain in great detail just how many guys I have fucked and what positions I did with each one of them. Your past sex life is nobody else’s business, assuming you’ve been checked and cleared for STD’s and you used condoms with your hooker(s).
Now cheating on someone to whom you’ve previously committed, with a hooker (doesn’t really matter if it’s with a hooker or not), that is a real live dealbreaker.
But this self-defeating, “I cannot ever date again” attitude will indeed turn out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy unless you find some way to break out of your Madonna-Whore Complex.
Yes I am less western when it comes to these stuff.
I think the fact that I was so near to someone like that is
bothering me the most. They are troubled girls… and well
hurting some which I had never done is hard to get over…
>> Would I consider it a red flag? Very much so.
Can you explain please ?
>> Now cheating on someone to whom you’ve previously committed,
>> with a hooker (doesn’t really matter if it’s with a hooker
>> or not), that is a real live dealbreaker.
You mean even if it was in the past ?
I was not strong enough to let the girl go, I had too much
stress to deal with and so tried not to lose the only thing
that kept me going a little - if it makes sense ?
Look man: nothing that you did in the past matters anymore. If there is one thing you should take away from all this and internalize, let it be that. The past does not matter. Let go of the past. Nobody cares what you did in the past.
The only direction for you to move in is forward, and don’t look back.
No, I do not mean even if it was in the past. If I am dating you and we have had a conversation about exclusivity and it is crystal clear that the expectation is that neither of us will fuck any other as long as we are fucking each other, then if you go out and get a hooker, I will be pissed. Why pay for it when I was giving it up for free? I’d mostly be mad about the wasted resources and the breach of trust. If you had sex with a hooker long before I ever dated you… well, that’s not cheating.
What you did in the past is none of my concern and I’m sure most women would appreciate the same respect in return.
Yes I have to learn this I think.
I think I have not had time to grow up which is the reason I couldnt just
separate in first hand.
A bit worried that someone could find out and then feel I was abusing them
by not telling them about my past. Say if I get drunk and say something
or they find out somehow…
Thing is, you are using words like “boys” and “girls.” When we are talking about nonadults – young people dating, like teenagers I suppose – there is a whole maturity level thing that affects how “girls” might react to such news.
When you grow up and start dating adult women, I would imagine that most women have matured enough to understand that everybody has a past and if you need to hold someone’s past against them, then it is probably not a good dating match. I keep trying to make the point with you that women are not pristine virginal creatures whose very delicate ears would be offended by the mere utterance of the word “prostitute.” While some may question your morals or character for being the type of person to employ a prostitute, that doesn’t necessarily mean an automatic dealbreaker.
In other words: just because you’ve read a few insecure posts from what sounds like some rather immature young ladies, that doesn’t mean 100% of all adult mature women would respond the same way.
Again, you might consider doing some introspective work about how you’ve come to view women as part of one of only two subsets: those who are pure, pristine, good-girl virgins, and those who you pay for sex. You seem to not be recognizing that women, like men, are not just either one thing or another. We are all on a sliding scale of virginal-to-slutty (both men and women) and the trick is to find someone whose proclivities match up with yours. Like I said, I wouldn’t necessarily reject a potential romantic interest out of hand just because of his past because I wouldn’t want him to reject me because of mine.
Well may be it’s because I havent grown up with many girls around (reasons dont matter) to learn this…
I think I grew up being too nice and being protected too much that made me feel insecure about the smallest issue - which is why I assume others are same…
yes makes sense; issue is i may look young/nice/cute/blah blah… and it makes most females think I am the sweetest guy ever. not in this respect but generally I have had trouble expressing myself because females have always assumed such person in me. I might sound a bit unrealistic but this last relationship ended with simlar comments. she kept telling me i didnt look like someone who could do that !
she never thought well I am f’ing man like others and stress and other issues can make me do anything a man is capable of…
First, stress and other issues didn’t make you do anything. You chose to do things. Own that. Second, if you are going to obsess over a woman’s “purity,” whether at your family’s prodding or no, there really isn’t anything I can say to that except own that, too.