"Cannot find server"! "Cannot find server"!

We’re all used to how slow this overburdened board works. We’ve been told, over and over, that the only answer is patience. Wait for the page to load; go get some coffee or something. Very well.

But it’s much, much harder to get used to this: You click a button – and the screen shows the message, “Page cannot be displayed” – and in the little bar at the bottom, it says, “Cannot find server or DNS error”. This can happen at ANY point where you try to go from one page to another: It can happen when you first try to log on to the SDMB; when you try to open a thread; when you try to post a reply (and then your post is usually destroyed, ARRRGGGH!!!); when you try to switch from one forum to another. Sometimes it helps to hit the back button on your browser – but sometimes you don’t even get directed back to the previous page, you just get another “Cannot find server” page. There have been times when I try and try and try and I can’t get on the SDMB at all, not through the link at the main Straight Dope page or by any other route. I just keep getting, “Cannot find server”! “Cannot find server”!

Why is this? And what can we do about it? Anything?

I’m getting even less than you are. All I get when I try to reach the board is 400 Bad request your browser sent a message the server could not understand or something similar. I’m posting illicitly from work. A co- worker has suggested the Microsoft fix (rebooting )after removing all cookies. Any other suggestions? I have Windows 98 with IE but I’m something of a Luddite, I not only don’t know what version, I don’t how how you tell what version you’re running. somebody help me please! I can get the main page just not the boards. Thanks.

The Patented MS “reboot and see if that fixes it”, fixed it. Yay!!! now I just have to hope the boss doesn’t go snooping around my computer.

And I should add that this problem has gotten even worse since the “upgrade.” Not only do I seem to get “Cannot find server” even more often, but now I sometimes get the following entirely new message:

And the e-mail link to the tech staff doesn’t even work.

Just for future reference, if you click on the Help menu of just about any Windows program, there’ll be an “About …” option. Click on that, and it’ll pop up a little window telling you all the nitty gritty details about the program, including the version.

Calm yourselves, Cub Mistress and Brain Glutton. [makes soothing patting motion] This is perfectly normal behavior for the SDMB.

Seriously. No sarcasm. This is normal.

Look:

  1. It’s not you.
  2. It’s not your computer.
  3. It’s not Windows.
  4. It’s not your ISP.
  5. It’s not your network.
  6. It’s not “traffic on the Internet”.

It’s the SDMB server. It has always been the server. It has always been like this, ever since I registered here. Days when forums, and threads, will simply hang, for long minutes at a time, to be followed by, you guessed it, “Cannot Find Server”. And yes, we’ve seen the “There seems to have been a slight problem with the database” message before. Many times.

We all just put up with it.

There are over 40,000 people registered here now; this is one of the biggest message boards on the Internet. The server has never been up to the challenge of keeping up with this particular group of fast-talking 120 wpm touch-typing smartasses, and unless Rupert Murdoch buys out the Chicago Reader and throws about $10,000 at JDavis the Tech God for a radical server upgrade, it never will keep up.

It’s as simple as that.

So chill. It’s not you. :wink:

It’s the server.

And yes, we have had many, many discussions of this, and many, many discussions of “can we give the Reader some money to BUY a friggin’ bigger server” (the answer is always “no”), and sometime when things are running halfway up to speed you can do a Search and read all those many, many discussions for yourself. (They go all the way back to March 2000, so bring a book to read while you wait for threads to load.)
And P.S. The Straight Dope Home Page and the forums are on different servers, which explains why you can still get the Home Page when the forums are down.

And P.P.S. I believe that the “e-mail to tech staff link” function has long since been disabled by JDavis the Tech God. He reported, IIRC, that certain obnoxious parties, back in the day, were gleefully–deliberately–sending him gazillions of “tech notification” e-mails by repeatedly attempting to reload the page gazillions of times. So AFAIK no e-mail is ever actually sent anymore. However, not to worry that the tech staff doesn’t know when the boards are down. All the SDMB mods and admins are equally addicted, so when the forums are down, they holler, too.

And P.P.P.S. To save yourself a few gray hairs, always Copy and Paste any kind of carefully composed, lengthy post into WordPad or NotePad before you hit Submit. That way, when the “Cannot Find Server” page comes up, you won’t have to go outside and shoot yourself because your carefully composed post suddenly vanished into the ether.

And P.P.P.P.S. : There are other message boards where ‘the powers that be’ actually respect their posters.

This one, for example. “Respect” is not synonymous with “independently wealthy”, despite what you might think.

No, Cronos Respect is: Acknowledge your posters and tell them the truth.

Suggestions to make this board faster? : “No thanks, We don’t want to”

Why not be a good disgruntled poster and take your grievances to the Pit? There’s no reason to shit all over ATMB and someone else’s thread.

Or is this a “they don’t respect me, so I’m not gonna respect their rules” type of thing?

<< Suggestions to make this board faster? : “No thanks, We don’t want to” >>

If you want to be deaf, then please find a message board that specializes in people who don’t want to hear. It’s been said several times: it’s not a case of the READER not wanting to, it’s a case of the READER having other priorities. Care and feeding of the Message Board is priority #48 on the READER’s tech-personnel list. It’s not “we don’t want to”, it’s “we don’t have the time or resources to devote to this.”

Your best bet, I think, is to buy the READER (I’m sure they’d sell if the profit was high enough) and then you can run the Message Boards to your satisfaction.

I got $0.75, would that get me the READER? Or maybe ever 2 if the company was 10% off?)

AudreyK

“I don’t have the time or resources to devote to that.”

C K Dexter Haven

Yes, that’s what I gathered. Thank you.