BYS barmaid Tikki, see if ye can find a happy medium thar. “Rum for some?” “Rum fer ye, but not for he?” “A very teeny bit of rum for the occasional pirate who’s at an advanced stage o’ thirst and who can prove ‘e or she is at or above the legal drinking age with three forms o’ identification and two witnesses?”
I don’t know who’s in charge of the Spanish Main, but can I be in charge of the Spanish Backups?
If not, Cargomaster Bosda reportin’ Captain Saaarrr!
Cargomaster Bosda, be sure the holds are tidy. Don’t want the rum rolling around when we’re out and about.
We’ve been berthed for quite a while. Am I going to get a course plotted or am I just going to turn this wheel back and forth and play pretend captain?
Hi guys - or,“Avast”. Here’s a Mundane Pointless Dave Barry column I must share. It’s about the movement to designate Sept 13 as National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Click on the link and enjoy, me hearties.
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/4018055.htm
Did someone mention rum?
Cap’n Ferry, I’d be glad to take whatever position ye have available, but as I mentioned, I be somewhat new to this whole piratin’ thing.
Kallessa… well, hello, milady! bows low 
Bosda, do the Spanish Backups know the words for La Bamba?
If so, I have a cunning plan…
Sorry about the lateness of me bearings Cap’n, got distracted by the quartermaster…
Here be some coordiantes to get us to the general area of the Spanish Man, and perhaps First Mate NoCLue will be able to get a bit more specific by then.
13 10 N, 59 32 W
In other words, I think ye be wanting to make a bit of a turn right, errr, starboard.
First Mate NoClue, ye wouldn’t know a cunning plan if it painted itself blue and danced naked on a 'arpsichord singing “Cunning Plans Are 'Ere Again.”
Arr, 'twas a joke, me matey.
TAaN arisu ftSP, good job. AWAY WE–urk. Eh, someone had best pull up that anchor. Tarrsk, I think we found a job for ye.
Arr, and let’s never be forgettin’ our day of honor, thirteenth September. Thankee, well he’s back.
Arrrrr, that be nineteenth September.
Blast this eyepatch.
Yarr!!
Second star to the right, straight on 'til morning!
Specific enough for ye, Matey?
wharr is that foul zombie ninja pirate monkey?
Begging the Captain’s pardon, m’lady… I juss don’t be getting British 'umour, don’t ya know…
Sorry about the long name. The alias I be using be Robert. Anything I can be gettin’ for ye, Doctor, or anyone else, just give a shout.
I think the same barnacle-ridden scurvy rat who took me musket balls took yer buckles. May 'e be keelhauled when we find 'im. Arrrgh!
A little rum for everyone!
Cap’n Ferry, if I may be so bold, I’d like to do something t’ show off me brainyness. I kin show off me sexy body slingin’ rum but it does nuthin’ t’ exercise me mind. Oh, and I kin help roll hemp. (Into ropes, ye no good scalawags!)
A second helping of even less rum for everyone!
We be swishbuckling, me dearies.
Speak for yerself, laddie! I intend to buckle many swashes!
And sorry for distractin’ ye, arisu! It’ll never happen again…
Unless you’d like another apple? 
Speak for yourself, darlin’.
Oh, Tarrsk, be a dear and help me with me buckles. And let me see if I can help you with your sword work–since you’re new to the pirating business and all. Wouldn’t want you to end up in Davy Jones’ locker (or First Mate NoClue’s for that matter).
When come back, bring rum.
Avast, me hardys, I wish I’d of found myself this h’yer thread two days ago! Pass me that cutlass! Arr, and all the rest of it!
Hey, when we be gettin’ t’ that gold?
YOU HEARD THE CAPTAIN!
GUUNNNNEERRRR!
LOAD CANNONS!
AIM!
READY!
FIRE!
BOOOOOOOMMMM!!!
Eyepatch destroyed, Capn’ BuckleberryFerry!
Capn’???
swimming out from shore
Ahoy! (gasp, gurgle) Ahoy, there, Ted!! If ye’ll take me aboard, I’ll repay the kindness a thousand times over… Or perhaps I’ll just betray ye and murder ye all in yer sleep. But I’d like to come aboard anyhow, if ye please (every pirate ship needs a potential mutineer, right?).
I’m an expert swordsman and a fine shot, so keep to my good side, and all your enemies will die a quick death.
Kn(Arrrr)ckers