Arrr, a fine crewman and ship security, I be, wearin’ such a fine red shirt.
(pause. Confused look. Casts eyes about…)
what? what are you looking at me like that and laughing for? Is me fly open?
Chimera, make rounds–be sure thar be nothin’ amiss.
sits on a barrel, puffing his pipe, and making up stores Yarr!
Arrr…The red shirts… they always be dying right quick like.
Besides… yer’s not poofy enough for the standard this fine ship be holding to.
Kallessa, you got some mighty fine haor. Pity it all has to go, tho. It’s distracting the men. (And a couple of the women!)
Now, whar be that robot ninja zombie monkey pirate? He be got’n me charts…
But, still, welcome aboard Chimera. A right fine fighter you look to be. Be you a Marine?
Arr, Captain, ye’ll be needin’ a ship’s surgeon to hack off yer crew’s injured limbs and replace 'em with pegs ‘n’ hooks, so I humbly volunteer my drunken services!
(We really need an eyepatched smiley for this thread.)
Evenin’, sirs. It appears to me that the post of “inexperienced but good-hearted young lad who will one day be the most feared pirate in all the Seven Seas” remains open… and seeing as none of my cowardly drinking buddies back home seem inclined to make a name for themselves, I’d like a shot at the position. If ye please. 
Oh, Captain, Captain–this may be the love interest I ordered! Request permission to help him get his sea legs, sir!
Not that I wouldn’t be interested in a ship’s doctor mind you, or a marine–red’s me favorite color!
My, but us Captive Pirate Princesses are a single-minded lot, aren’t we? 
I for one volunteer to fill the post of “young girl dressed as a boy and running away to escape an arranged marriage and find adventure on the high seas.” Seeing as it remains open. Give me a chance, please.
Me thinks that with me name and alls, I oughta be wearin’ an eyepatch (har har).
I’m requestin’ permission to be Liser-go-Blind, the washerwoman who takes care of the whatever needs to be cleaned. Arrrr, you pirate lads wouldn’t want yer plunderees to be smellin’ ye before you can capture the rum! Savvy?
Aye, get’s to be a mite annoyin don’t it.
So, are ye givin me bearings for your gold, First Mate, or should I keep on charting the course for Figi?
Stories about the tattoos you’re wanting to hear, ArrrMAtey? Give us another apple…
The one on me leg was suposed to be a tiger, but twas done by a drunken Irishman in Singapore, so it more closely resembles a kitten. (But it be a fierce one!)
The buttercup on me arm is in memory of the time I spent on the good ship Revenge, under the Dread Pirate Roberts. He always was talking about them for some reason…
I’ve got a complete star chart for the Northern Hemisphere on my right outer thigh, (comes in useful when the paper ones get washed overboard).
The zigzag lines across the forehead, why that just be for decoration!
Cap’n Ferry, not to be oversteppin me bounds or anything, but is anyone going to be sailing the ship? Be we leavin that job to the monkey?
Well, looks to me like I got the apples -and- the rum, so with yer kind permission, Cap’n Ferry, I’ll be changin’ my title to ‘Quartermaster’. Seems them quarters aren’t gonna master themselves!
'ere’s another apple for ye, Arisu. Hrmmmm… Mind if I check those starcharts a little more closely?
Oh, and the monkey has made off with an apple. Hope that’s acceptable.
Captain! The spare main’s’l and jibb prepared as ordered.
Aye Aye, Captain. I’ll get right on the top’s’l and t’gallant. Though it’s a lotta work for one poor thirsty soul. And I be havin’ a mite a trouble with the top’s’l.
Hark! Do my eyes deceive me? No! We have a stowaway damsel lindarielle13. Let her earn her keep!
With her help, I can finish the sails and make dancing girl costumes for us (and cabin boy matt?) and we can provide some entertainment tonite.
Arrmatey, the damsel and I could use some rum here on the poop deck.
Ship’s cat checking in here. Uh-h-h . . . Oh, yeah!
Lookit this rat I just caught (plop). Aren’t I nifty?
Now to track down the pirate who dislikes me the most so’s I can rub up against his leg, sit in his lap, and otherwise be his Friend for Life.
DD
Cap’n, fair if I break out the rum rations for the crew?
Dr. Rieux, welcome aboard. Find yerself a place to set up practice. If ye be needin’ supplies, we’ll send YGDABARATEAAMAFAOTHS lindarielle13 to find some.
IBGHYLWWOBDTMFPIATSS Tarrsk, ye be needin’ a shorter name if yer to be on this vessel. I beieve Kallessa be wantin’ a word with ye.
YGDABARATEAAMAFAOTHS lindarielle13, ye, too, be needin’ a shorter name. But welcome aboard. Ye’ll find the appropriate disguise yonder. And find the doctor whatever supplies 'e needs.
Liser-go-Blind, we be needin’ our eye patches and hankies washed. Get to it.
TAaN arisu ftSP, what d’ye think I be doin’ with the wheel? Dancin’? I be waitin’ fer our course to be set so I can get the ship movin’!
QuarterMaster ArrrMatey, be sure it’s the only apple he gets! D’ye think they grow on TREES?! Be stingy with the rum, we ain’t got much. And get to helpin’ as_u_wish with the swabbin’ of the decks.
Good job, DesertDog, only several thousand more to go. And don’t drop the rest on my boots. I’ve yet to find anyone to clean 'em.
And in regards to the wantin’ of pirate smilies, landlubbers in this thread have discussed it, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually asked.
Aye, and I’ve been remiss in my barkeepin’ duties. Been on the stern rail heavin’ to, if you gets me drift. Gettin’ me sea legs though.
Rum for everybody!!
Arrrgh, {b}Cap’n Ferry,** I be best to keep up with the posts, nay?
No rum fer anyone!!
I can’t find me buckles. How can I swashbuckle if I can’t find me buckles?