Captain Buckleberryferry and the crew of "The Ted" -sign up here-

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

*Originally posted by NoClueBoy *
**Bosda, do the Spanish Backups know the words for La Bamba?

If so, I have a cunning plan… **

NoClueBoy ----

aah-ahhh! [strokes his hand] You have a woman’s hand, milord!
I’ll wager these dainty pinkies never weighed anchor in a storm.

Ha ha ha. -Aah! Your skin milord. I’ll wager it ne’er felt the lash of a cat [‘o’ nine tails], been rubbed with salt, and then flayed off by a pirate chief to make fine stockings for his best cabin boy.

Ha. -Aah! You have a woman’s purse! [takes it from him and
[examines it daintily] I’ll wager that purse has never been used as a rowing-boat. I’ll wager it’s never had sixteenshipwrecked mariners tossing in it.

Oh! You have a woman’s mouth, milord! I’ll wager that mouth never had to chew through the side of a ship to escape the dreadful spindly killer fish.

Ah! [pointing] You have a woman’s legs, my lord! I’ll wager those are legs that have never been sliced clean off by a falling sail, and swept into the sea before your very eyes.

And I’ll wager, me lord, that you’ve never been told all of these things by a Timelord, either. Arrrrrr

[Tarrsk]

Arr… that was one heavy anchor. Three days later and me back’s still achin’ somewhat.

*Originally posted by Kallessa *
**Speak for yourself, darlin’.

Oh, Tarrsk, be a dear and help me with me buckles. And let me see if I can help you with your sword work–since you’re new to the pirating business and all. Wouldn’t want you to end up in Davy Jones’ locker (or First Mate NoClue’s for that matter).

Nor would I, me lass! Ye know, you’re quite good wi’ a blade. Where’d ye get yer skill, if I may ask?

When come back, bring rum. **

Did I mention that I have this 'ere keg that I nicked from the tavern 'fore I left? Good fine rum that the barkeep apparently nicked from the local gov’nor 'imself, before I got ahold of it.

[Michael_Ellis]

Arr, well I shouts well enough, I likes playin’ with heavy cannon, and I be somethin’ of an electrician, though what good that be on a pirate ship escapes me.

[AncientHumanoid]

What manner of beast is Electrishee-an?

Arrr!!! Bosda. The Brontosaurus was large and flaccid. So… lad… answer me this: If the square of the hypotenuse is equal to square of the sum of the other two sides… then why is a mouse when it spins?

As to me dressing dainty… I am a dandy, now Arrrr!!!n’t I? Juss look at how this pirate coat slims me waist while accentuationg me shoulders!

Wharr is me eyeliner?

[tisiphone]

*This dirty town, has been my home,
Since last time I was sailin’
But I’ll not stay another day,
I’d sooner be a-whalin’!

Oooh Lord above, send down a dove
With beak as sharp as razors
To cut the throats
Of them there blokes
What sells bad beer to sailors…" *

“All hands to the pumps!
Well then tell us a story!
All hands to the pumps!
Well then sing us a song!
All hands to the pumps and I’ll sing of the girls
They’re a sailorman’s port in a storm!”

Need a shantywoman?

“Shake and wake her Johnny, there’s a ship for you,
Lyin’ in the Royal Rows, waitin’ for a crew
With every brace and backstay, singing soft and low
Mother Carey wants you and you’re all bound to go…”

I s’pose I could resurrect some classics…

“Oh, the year was seventeen-seventy-eight,
How I wish I was in Sherbrooke now
A letter of marque came from the king
To the scummiest vessel I’d ever seen…”

:ceases under hail of boots:

Fine then.

“He was the captain of the Nightengale,
Twenty-one days from Clyde in coal,
He could smell the flowers of Bermuda in the gale
When he died on the North Rock Shore”

"*I drank sixteen doubles for the price of one
tryin to find the courage to talk to one,
I asked her for a dance, not a second chance,
My night had just begun.

The old black rum’s got a hold on me,
Like a dog wrapped 'round my leg,
The old black rum’s got a hold on me,
Will I live for another day? Will I live for another day…*"

[Michael_Ellis]

Did I mention me fav’rit Star Trek character?
…
Ye knows what’s comin’…

Yarrr.

[Orual]

Cap’n! I’ve marked the position of this isle of Gilligan on me charts!

I also made off the jewelry chest of the shrivelled old harridan called “Lovey”.

Is there anyone we’ll want to be marrooning?

[lindarielle13]

Loadin’ guns sir, but we seem to be short some cannon balls. That bloody monkey must 'ave nicked 'em. Must 'ave quite a stash by now, that monkey.

[AncientHumanoid]

Arrr!!!

Let’s marroon the monkey!

And more singing!

*Oh… there’s a…
Monkey in my pocket
And he’s stealing all my change,
His stare is blank and glossy
I suspect that he’s deraaaaanged!
*

Well, alrighty, then… the minkey can stay.

We’ll name this god forsaken rock… Scabania.

Well, I’d rather be a pirate on scabb…
Than a scab on a pirate.?
And if ye listen to me gab,
I’ll tell ya why I admire it!
Oh, the people aren’t too friendly,
the weather’s not the best.
The lodging’s too expensive, and Largo’s quite a pest.
But the thing I like about Scabb
Is what it HASN’T got.
No mayor or police force,
And no jail in which to rot.

Brought to you by: Silver’s Longjohns.

For those cold dark shipboard nights
We’ve got boxers, briefs and tights
Made from cotton, silk or satin
In styles anglo, dutch or latin!
When you sail don’t take a chance
Wearin’ nothin neathe your pants
Trust… Silvers… Longjohns…
They breathe!
Tasha Yarrr, indeed! Death’s to good for you, Ellis the Elek trishee-an.

[Michael_Ellis]

*Originally posted by NoClueBoy *
**Tasha Yarrr, indeed! Death’s to good for you, Ellis the Elek trishee-an. **

That it be, Mr. NoClue, that it be!

[AncientHumanoid]

A Pirate I Was Meant To Be

by Tim Schafer, Lead Designer of “The Curse of Monkey Island”
(This one requires four men and tells the tale of a Captain that wanted his lazy crew to help him recover a stolen treasure map, but the crew would much rather stay on decks singing. What makes things worse is that every time the Captain says anything, the mutinous crew just rhymes it to make it part of their song)

(Talking)
Captain: Thanks for the help back there guys.(sarcastically)
Third Mate: It was a rousing battle, Captain.
First Mate: Aye, and it reminds me of a song…

(singing)
First Mate: We’re a band of vicous pirates
Second Mate: A Sailin’ Out to Sea!
Third Mate: When ye hear our gentle singin’
First Mate: Be sure to turn and flee!

(talking)
Captain: Ohh, this is just ridiculous. Come on men, We’ve GOT to recover that map!

(singing)
Second Mate: That pirate will be done for when he falls into our trap!
Third Mate: We’re a club of tuneful rovers
First Mate: We can sing at every clef
Second Mate: We can even hit the high notes!
First Mate: It’s just too bad we’re tone deaf.
All Mates: A pirate I was meant to be, trim the sails and roam the seas!

(talking)
Captain: Let’s go defeat that evil pirate!

(singing)
Second Mate: We know he’s sure to lose because we know just where to fire at!
Second Mate: We’re a thieving valideer
First Mate: A gang of cutthroat mugs
Third Mate: To fight us off you wont need guns
Second Mate: Just jolly good earplugs!
All Mates: A pirate I was meant to be, trim the sails and roam the seas!

(talking)
Captain: Alright crew, let’s get to work!

(singing)
First Mate: Our vocation is a thing we love, a thing we never shirk!
First Mate: We’ll fightchu in the harbor
Third Mate: We’ll battle you on land
Second Mate: But when you meet singing pirates

(talking)
Captain: They’ll be more than you can stand.
First Mate: Oh, ho, that was a good one!
Captain: No, it wasn’t.
Captain: No time for song, we’ve got to move!
Third Mate: The battle will be long, but our courage we will prove!
Second Mate: We’re a pack of scurvy seadogs
First Mate: Have we pity? Not a gram
Third Mate: We all eat roasted garlic
First Mate: And sing from the diaphram

(singing)
All Mates: A pirate I was meant to be, trim the sails and roam the seas!

(talking)
Captain: Less Singing, More Sailing!

(singing)
Second Mate: When we defeat our wicked show his ship he will be bailing!
Third Mate: If ye try to fight us
First Mate: You’ll get a nasty whackin’
Second Mate: If you disrespect our singin’
First Mate: We will bring ye to a crackin’!
All Mates: A pirate I was meant to be, trim the sails and roam the seas!

(talking)
Captain: I’m getting so sick of you guys and your rhyming!

(singing)
First Mate: We’re ready to set sail, though the cannons need a primin’!
Second Mate: We’re troublesome corsairs
Third Mate: We’ve come to steal yer treasure
First Mate: We would shoot ya in the dungbie
Second Mate: But we’ve got a rest by measures
All Mates: A pirate I was meant to be, trim the sails and roam the seas!

(whining)
Captain: Stop, stop, stop!

(singing)
Third Mate: The brass is what we’ll pollish and the deck is what we’ll mop!

(talking)
Captain: You say you’re nasty pirates,
Thieving scheming bad-bush whackers,
But from what I’ve seen I tell you you’re no pirates,
You’re just slackers!

Singing)
All Mates: A pirate I was meant to be, trim the sails and roam the seas!
Captain (finally singing): We’ll surely avoid scurvy if we all eat an orange.

(Crew Desperately tries to think of a word to rhyme orange with)

(talking)
First Mate: and…
Second Mate: umm…
Third Mate: well…
First Mate: uhh…
Third Mate: Door Hinge?
Second Mate: No, no…
Third Mate: Guess the song’s over then.
First Mate: Guess so…
Second Mate: OK, back to work.
Captain: Well, gee… I feel a little guilty now.*

[AncientHumanoid]

Shiver me timbers! Methinks I just broke the Pirate Dopers code. About lyrics and such.

Begg’n pardon, O Mighty Euty, it won’t happen again.

[tisiphone]

"*It’s another middle watch, another hair upon me chest,
There’s just an hour or two until I go and get some rest,
Mornin’, dogs, or afternoon, the forenoon or the first,
There’s none of 'em come easy but the middle is the worst.

Keep the engines goin’ round, the diesel goin’ up and down
Keep the old ship goin’ homeward bound…*"

"*You’ve made some close friends by the after bulkhead,
Many still sailing, a few good ones dead,
And you’ve taken your leave with a handclasp and smile,
And lied to each other see-you in-a-while;
But you never went sailing no more.

Swallow the anchor, make for the shore,
After this trip you’ll go sailin’ no more
Perhaps you’ll regret all the time spent at sea
You’ll never forget all that fine company,
And you’ll never go sailin’ no more…*"

"*I’m leaving my family, leaving all my friends,
My body’s at home but my heart’s in the wind,
Where the clouds are like headlines on a new ‘front-page’ sky,
My tears are saltwater the moon’s full and high.

And I know Martin Eden’s going to be proud of me,
Many before me have been called by the sea,
To be up in the crow’s-nest, singing my lay,
Shiver m’ timbers, I’m sailing away.

And the fog’s lifting, the sand’s shifting, I’m drifting to sea,
Old Captain Ahab ain’t got nothing on me,
Swallow me, don’t follow me, travelling alone,
Blue water’s my daughter, going to skip like a stone…*"

[Peg]

All this marooning and pilagin’ and navigatin’ on mere apples and rum has roused my cookin’ skills. Peg the Cook says feast!

[AncientHumanoid]

Can you make me some stewed monkey’s brains?

[Peg]

Would that be stewed zombie ninja monkey brains?

[BuckleberryFerry]

Yarr, I leave for a bit and thar be mutineers and musicals. I don’t know which be worse.

First Mate NoClue, find out for sure if Kn(I can’t tell if he’s against me or not)ckers be friend or foe. If friend, find 'im a job. If foe, be sure 'e gets the honor of 'is very own isle.

The rest of ye, finish off yer job and off to Peg’s feast.

Anyone who can read ‘n’ write, get me a full list of me crew and their jobs aboard. Thar’s no organization 'ere.

And methinks that zombie ninja robot pirate monkey be makin’ more trouble than he’s worth.

Arr.

[Doomtrain]

Arr, if there be musicals, then I’m putting on a flappy pirate shirt and showing my chest! Whar be those scurrrrrrrrrvy Gilbert and Sullivan chaps? Arr!

[lindarielle13]

Peg, thankee for the fine feast. Here be the list you requested, Captain.

BuckleberryFerry - Captain, o’course
NoClue - 1st mate
CelticCowboy - keeps the rum safe
ArrMatey - 2nd mate, in charge of apples, also in charge of rum, quartermaster
Dewey - bo’sun
Mastema - checks hull for barnacles
Peg - cook
GMRyujin - old, sorty-telling pirate
Curate - skeleton positioner
arisu - tatto artist and navigator from the south pacific
Tikki - brainy yet sexy barmaid, keeps the crew supplied with rum
DesertDog - ship’s cat
matt_mcl - Roger the cabin boy
Brahesilver - in the rigging
steelerphan (aka Mario Mendoza) - gunner
as_u_wish - sailmaker w/ a map
Kallesa - Captive Pirate Princess
Chimera - security
Dr. Rieux - surgeon
Tarrsk - inexperienced but good hearted who will be most feared pirate on the seven seas, currently raises and lowers the anchors
Liser-go-Blind - washerwoman
lindarielle13 (aka Robert) - various odd jobs
Bosda - cargo master
Kn*ckers - possible mutineer
Wang-Ka - 8ths master (?), lookout
Michael Ellis - shouts, cannons, electrician
Zebra - strange tatooed person who doesn’t speak English
Scuba-Ben - gunner
tisiphone - various entertainment

And of course…

Zombie Pirate Robot Ninja Monkey (aka Jack) - steals things

[Kallessa]

Tarrsk isn’t so inexperienced anymore.