How can you be “too snobby” and I be “not snobby enough” and both of us get recommended for a Buick Skyhawk? Not that I can see a snob buying a Cavalier in the first place.
Consider the source.
Remember, they decided sunbear’s a generous cheapskate (and wouldn’t let him have an SUV).
Another reason I don’t like American cars is that they are all lame inside. The A/C controls and all the stuff on the steering wheel is different… the lights are not where they should be…
Anyway, I know that American cars have gotten better, but why not go with the ones that have been good since the early 70s? Hell until just a handful of years ago I was still driving a '76 Toyota that had basically no problems and no repair costs.
>^,^<
“Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…”
OpalCat’s site: http://opalcat.com
The Teeming Millions Homepage: fathom.org/teemingmillions
Louie:yours looks different.We didn’t get this “left brain” stuff, did we?
American cars? Japanese cars? Bah! I’ve got German engineering, so there! 
Well, they told me I’m perfectly compatible with my little 240SX except…I’m a bit too OLD! Humph, they know nothing about midlife crisis car buying.
Well, they said I fit my Dodge Caravan pretty well, except that I was a bit young for it.
However, the questionnaire asks nothing about marital status and how many kids you have (if any). Maybe I’m younger than most people who have three kids, but I’ll bet that if that were factored in, the Caravan would match me even more perfectly.
And in addition, that issue has direct impact on the matter of car messiness, which is another of the questions they ask.
Chaim Mattis Keller
ckeller@schicktech.com
“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective
Hey, I own a Buick Skylark…wonder what it will say about me?
Well, it looks like I actually drive a car that’s just about perfect for me:
Comparing You to Other Jeep Wrangler Owners
Boy oh boy, Tricia, you picked a vehicle which is just about perfect for you. Congratulations! For example, when compared to other people who own a Jeep Wrangler, you’re just about the same in terms of your age, your educational level, and status consciousness.
But there are some psychographic and/or demographic measures on which you differ from other Jeep Wrangler owners. For example, you care a bit too much about your car compared to other Jeep Wrangler owners, and you make way too much money to be driving a Jeep Wrangler.
Car-O-Scope Makes Suggestions for More Compatible Vehicles
Despite the fact that your personality profile pretty much matches that of Jeep Wrangler owners, Car-O-Scope would like to suggest some alternative vehicles–should you be thinking of making a change.
Note: some of these suggestions might surprise you. But try to keep an open mind. It’s quite possible that the car-o-scope has discovered some hidden and/or repressed aspects of your personality.
- BMW 2002
- Saab 900
- Honda Passport
- Plymouth Duster
- Volkswagen Corrado
So, let’s look at your compatibility profile vis-a-vis the BMW 2002. If you dumped that Jeep Wrangler and got yourself a BMW 2002, you’d be a lot happier.
For example, you’d be almost perfectly compatible in terms of your gender, your educational level, status consciousness, and your grasp of reality.
In addition, you’d have pretty good compatibility in terms of your age, how much you really care about your car, your tolerance for taking risks, and the extent to which you’re a cheapskate.
Here’s a little info on these personality characteristics. Read 'em and weep.
Status consciousness:
I know a few people who will go to any lengths to impress others. ("Oh, yes, I went to Haahvaad.) I love them, don’t you? Neither do I. The kind of people I like to have coffee with are “jamokes.” Are you familiar with this term? No? Well, I guess you didn’t go to Haahvaad, now, did you?
Reality check:
You have a pretty good sense of what’s real and what ain’t. You aren’t one of those “head in the clouds” types–like some people I know. On the other hand, there are worse places you’re head could be–I guess.
Here’s a more detailed look at your compatibility scores for the other vehicles on the list.
Good luck. And thanks for consulting the Oracle of Car-O-Scope.
And don’t drive like my brother.
Well, I’m apparantly too much of a cheap, adventurous slob to drive my Volvo 740 wagon. Whatever – I love my car.
Does anyone else think that Tom and Ray have cornered the market on Plymouth Dusters? They seem to suggest them to everybody, no matter what your profile says. I guess its just the universal car…
“Owls will deafen us with their incessant hooting!” W. Smithers
This thing told me that my car (a Chevy Corsica) and I were just about perfect for each other, but it also recommended…TA-DAAH! A Plymouth Duster. Methinks someone owns a whole bunch o’Dusters, and is trying to off them.
The car-o-scope also said I was cheap, and a flake. As if I didn’t know that already.
I finally got the car-o-scope to work ok.I lied a little.So here’s the main part:
Boy oh boy, Rich, you picked a vehicle which is just about perfect for you. Congratulations! For example, when compared to other people who own a Toyota Tercel, you’re just about the same in terms of your income, the extent to which you’re a cheapskate, and status consciousness.
But there are some psychographic and/or demographic measures on which you differ from other Toyota Tercel owners. For example, you’re a bit too old to be driving this vehicle, and you care a bit too much about your car compared to other Toyota Tercel owners.
Car-O-Scope Makes Suggestions for More Compatible Vehicles
Despite the fact that your personality profile pretty much matches that of Toyota Tercel owners, Car-O-Scope would like to suggest some alternative vehicles–should you be thinking of making a change.
Note: some of these suggestions might surprise you. But try to keep an open mind. It’s quite possible that the car-o-scope has discovered some hidden and/or repressed aspects of your personality.
- Chrysler Fifth Avenue
- Buick Roadmaster
- Buick Riviera
- Buick Estate Wagon
- Chrysler New Yorker
I checked with a few more people, and basically it gives 45 year old guys this list of old fart cars, no matter what else you answer.
What? No Duster?
Rich: You lied on your income to get that response, didn’t you? I mean, that is how anyone could get car-o-scope to approve a Tercel.That or being a college student. In fact, the list should have a negative income range too.
Wow, according to my car-o-scope, I’m too uneducated, too young, too wussy, and too snobby to drive a Neon. However, I am cheap enough and lackadaisical enough in my car maintenance for the Neon (umm… thanks?) They say I must be miserable (I wasn’t until they told me I was dumb, stuck up, chicken hearted, careless, cheap baby), and recommend:
1.Oldsmobile Cutlass
2.Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme
3.Buick Roadmaster
4.Buick Estate Wagon
5.Chevrolet Camaro
"So, let’s look at your compatibility profile vis-a-vis the Oldsmobile Cutlass. If you dumped that Dodge Neon and got yourself a Oldsmobile Cutlass, you’d be a lot happier.
"For example, you’d be almost perfectly compatible in terms of your gender, how much you really care about your car, and the extent to which you’re a cheapskate.
“In addition, you’d have pretty good compatibility in terms of your age, your educational level, your tolerance for taking risks, status consciousness, and your grasp of reality.”
Grasp of reality? I’m going to cry.
"Cheapness: your degree of–ahem–shall we say “frugality”?
“Your score on the cheapness scale puts you pretty close to the average for Oldsmobile Cutlass drivers. Of course, utter and complete cheapness can be an asset (right!) People who believe this call it “frugality.” But they’re really just hopeless cheapskates.”
Cheap? Try BROKE!
“But don’t delay! Your health, happiness and general well being are at stake here. Don’t drive that Dodge Neon for another day.”
But… but… but… I LOVE my Neon! Last night I even bought amethyste finger nail polish so that we’d match. It’s my BABY! (After my cats, dog, and husband.) I wasn’t unhappy until I read this 
(And it’s really a Plymouth Neon; I screwed up and entered Dodge because that’s what my last Neon was–see? I LOVE NEONS!)
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
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WIDTH=180 HEIGHT=137></P>
Hello, Brian</P>
Here is your official Car-O-Scope, the patented Car Talk assessment of the
compatibility between you and your Ford Escort. As you well know, the degree
of compatibility between you and your car is crucial to your happiness and
well-being! Driving the right vehicle–i.e., having the correct
“carma”–will give you an incredible lightness of being, a constant
sensation of euphoria and, possibly, a Rocky Mountain high. On the other
hand, the wrong “relationship” can be devastating: a continuous frown, a
deep and inexplicable depression, a sense of foreboding. In short, a life
of quiet desperation–not to mention an incredible headache, lower back
pain and continuous hemorrhoidal flare-ups.</P>
So, ready or not, here it is.</P>
<P ALIGN=CENTER><IMG SRC="/Survey/Results/Psychographics/Images/your-caroscope.gif"
WIDTH=207 HEIGHT=72></P>
<H3>Comparing You to Other Ford Escort Owners</H3>
Boy oh boy, Brian, you picked a vehicle which is just about perfect for you.
Congratulations!
For example, when compared to other people who own a
Ford Escort, you’re just about the same in terms of
your age, your income, and your tolerance for taking risks.</P>
But there are some psychographic and/or demographic measures on which
you differ from other Ford Escort owners. For example,
you just don’t care as much about your car as other Ford Escort owners, and your educational level is a bit lower than that of other Ford Escort owners.</P><H3>Car-O-Scope Makes Suggestions for More Compatible Vehicles</H3>
Despite the fact that your personality profile pretty much matches that
of Ford Escort owners, Car-O-Scope would like to suggest some alternative
vehicles–should you be thinking of making a change.</P>
Note: some of these suggestions might surprise you. But try to keep an
open mind. It’s quite possible that the car-o-scope has discovered some
hidden and/or repressed aspects of your personality. </P>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
<IMG SRC="/Survey/Results/Psychographics/Images/carmack.gif" ALIGN=RIGHT
WIDTH=50 HEIGHT=41>
<TABLE BORDER=0>
<TR>
<TD ALIGN=RIGHT><BIG>1.</BIG></TD>
<TD ALIGN=LEFT><BIG>Buick Skyhawk</BIG></TD>
</TR>
<TR>
<TD ALIGN=RIGHT><BIG>2.</BIG></TD>
<TD ALIGN=LEFT><BIG>Plymouth Duster</BIG></TD>
</TR>
<TR>
<TD ALIGN=RIGHT><BIG>3.</BIG></TD>
<TD ALIGN=LEFT><BIG>Oldsmobile Cutlass</BIG></TD>
</TR>
<TR>
<TD ALIGN=RIGHT><BIG>4.</BIG></TD>
<TD ALIGN=LEFT><BIG>Chevrolet Celebrity</BIG></TD>
</TR>
<TR>
<TD ALIGN=RIGHT><BIG>5.</BIG></TD>
<TD ALIGN=LEFT><BIG>Buick Roadmaster</BIG></TD>
</TR>
</TABLE><BR CLEAR=ALL></BLOCKQUOTE>
So, let’s look at your compatibility profile vis-a-vis the
Buick Skyhawk. If you dumped that Ford Escort and got
yourself a Buick Skyhawk, you’d be a lot happier.
For example, you’d be almost perfectly compatible in terms of your age, your tolerance for taking risks, status consciousness, and your grasp of reality.</P>
In addition, you’d have pretty good compatibility in terms of how much you really care about your car and the extent to which you’re a cheapskate.</P>
Here’s a little info on these personality characteristics. Read 'em and
weep.</P>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
Risk-taking: your tolerance for taking chances</P>
Some people are complete wackos when it comes to taking risks. I have
a friend (who shall remain nameless), and when Tony goes on vacation, he
immediately starts looking for the bungee-jumping sites. A nut case of
the first order.</P>
On the other hand, some of us are complete wusses. (Is this how you
spell woosses? I’m not sure, but I’m afraid to look it up. Oh, my God, I
might be wrong. Oh, my God!) You’re compatible on this score.</P>
Status consciousness:</P>
I know a few people who will go to any lengths to impress others.
("Oh, yes, I went to Haahvaad.) I love them, don’t you? Neither do
I. The kind of people I like to have coffee with are “jamokes.” Are
you familiar with this term? No? Well, I guess you didn’t go to
Haahvaad, now, did you?</P>
Reality check:</P>
You have a pretty good sense of what’s real and what ain’t. You
aren’t one of those “head in the clouds” types–like some people I know. On
the other hand, there are worse places you’re head could be–I guess.</P>
</BLOCKQUOTE>
Here’s <A HREF="/Survey/Results/Psychographics/Caroscopes/80660
Well, THAT was a failure…
Since we can’t edit too much, most of us would cut and paste into some program that lets you edit, like,say…Word…and then here.
What sort of lack of education do you need to be below an Escort driver?
The car advice column in our local paper once recommended the Neon as a good first car for your kid. How can I be too uneducated to be a Neon driver? I gradjeeated, what more do they expect from me??
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
Alright, Satan! Wanna go with me and Kat in the Skyhawk carpool?