Cast the Donald Trump biopic

Put here initially because it is about a possible movie, but prior permission is given to the mods to move it. :grin:

If a movie was to be made about Donald Trump, who should play whom? When giving your picks, please state whether this list would be greenlighted by the current administration. Please stick to the cast lists and keep insults and invectives to yourself if possible.

Wow. Three hours and no responses.

Okay then, just to break the drought.

As second term president - Bill Pullman - the height, the stoop, the crumpling, all-too-revealing facial expressions, but not sure he could be de-aged sufficiently.

As real estate skeeze / First term president Trump - Jessie Eisenberg, but with lots of industrial light and magic

Melania - played by David Hemmings being played by a piece of wood (one for Python fans) or by herself. Proper actors would have to slow down their performances so much they’d be at risk of stalling.

Rudy Giuliani - Christopher Lloyd / Emmett Brown

JD Vance - Nathan Lane

Pete Hegseth - a Hemwsorth

Perhaps we could have a Special RFK Jr. Edition of the Trump bio: all roles to be played by road-kill.

With current computer-generated animation techniques, it could be very do-able.

Am I correct in assuming this is a comedy, and not a hagiography?

John Travolta as trump
A coat rack and a hat for Melania, with voice by whoever does the best Natasha Fatale impression.
I’d put Jesse Eisenberg for Vance

Maybe it should be animated instead? With animals in the roles?

Laura Benanti plays Melania in comedy bits on Late Night with Stephen Colbert, so she might be an obvious choice.

How about Will Ferrell as DUI Pete?

I’m going to assume that anything rising to the level of a biopic (instead of a solid lampooning/parody) is going to be funded by Trump himself, MAGA, or the Republicans (leaving out any sort of “The Final Days of the American Republic” created by non-American interests).

So I think for casting, we’d want to start with various American actors with strong Republican credits - because I think most of the rest of Hollywood would find other commitments fast. So as a starting point (though it’s a bit out of date):

Oh great! Caitlyn Jenner as Melania! It sings! Ted Nugent as DUI Pete!

If this film is supposed to be approved by the administration as a serious film, then the only casting would be the administration plays themselves. Of course they are up to the task of acting. just ask them.

OK, so back when Trump first got elected, there was a lot of discussion as to whether Alec Baldwin, who had portrayed Trump on SNL during the campaign, would continue to do so after the election. And some absolute friggin’ genius on these boards (and I wish to god I could remember who it was) said they should have Kenan Thompson do it. Just put on an orange Trump wig on him and have him play Trump, no explanation why a black man would be playing Trump, just act like it’s perfectly normal. I thought that was brilliant. So, Kenan would be my pick.

JD Vance should be played by a ventriloquist dummy with Trump’s hand up his ass.

Is Foster Brooks still alive? He could play Hegseth.

Shane Gillis as Trump. Everyone else should be a serious actor playing it straight.

Alec Baldwin as Trump.
Kermit as Mike Johnson.
Fozzy as Vance.
Miss Piggy as Melania.
Sam as Hegseth.
Janice as Pam Bondi.
Gonzo as all the Democrats in Congress
Rizzo as all the Republicans, except Mike Johnson.

Trump - Gary Busey

Melania - Caitlyn Jenner

Vance - Zack Galifinakis

Stephen Miller - Pee Wee Herman (darnit - dead, so Randy Rainbow)

Carolyn Leavitt - Kristen Wiig

Hegseth - a strung-out Jan Micheal Vincent (oops, also dead, will go with another Vincent - Gallo)

Patel - Russell Peters

Todd Blanche - Dennis Quaid

Doug Burgam - Bob Euker (oh FCS already croaked…Max Von Sydow - ugh another stiff…ok then - Dick Van Dyke)

Tulsi - Roseanne

RFK - Ed Asner (ACK why is everyine freaking dead?!) William Shatner, then.

Kid Rock - as himself.

Peter Lorre* as Stephen Miller?

*Please ignore the anachronism

Sorry-Kid Rock is brain dead.

Sure, and Busey isn’t too far behind.

I think this is an inspired choice.

I’d have Fran Drescher play Melania.

Danny DeVito for Stephen Miller.

Jim Parsons as Pete Hegseth.

And Harrison Ford as Jack Smith.

On the strength of his Marty Supreme performance alone: Abel Ferrara as RFK Jr.

All actors human except for trump, who’d be a big sow in a blue suit with a curly tail coming out of the seat of his pants.

Have the same actor play every woman except Melania. Just change wigs. See if anyone notices.