Well, SPOOFE can have his comic book, and Anthracite’s Lovecraftian mystery is all well and good, but I’m in a Detective Literature class in school, and my muse is feeling like wasting time.
So, I’m writing a classic-style hard-boiled detective story, featuring, well, I’m not quite sure yet. That’s what this thread is for. I think I’m gonna be the main character (Yeah, I know, I’m greedy, but it’s my story, dammit!), but I need other dopers to volunteer for placement throughout the yarn. So sign up here, and I’ll try to fit you in!
Note: I can’t exactly accomodate every request for specific roles, since it would take some of the mystery out if somebody said “Oooh! I wanna be the villain who no one suspects till the very end!” Also, while I’ll try my darndest, I can’t promise to include absolutely everybody who volunteers, and especially not in major roles. If you volunteer, which I really hope you do, then please don’t take it as a personal attack if you’re not featured.
Other than that, volunteer away, cause I’m anxious to get to work!
You have my permission to incorporate me as you wish… my only catch is that I must not want to severely injure/kill you after reading the story. [sub]read- don’t make me straight, damn it. Evil, yes, but no boys.[/sub]
Oooh! I wanna be the- Oh. I see. Very well. I’ll play by your mortal rules. ::cackles::
Ummm. My okay here. This is who I wanna be.
Your fearless canine, faster than rain, sleet, and hail combined, more furious than a wet hen, with the courage of two fearless canines, and the cunning of a Zoggie.
Oooh - dammit, I wanted to be the sleazy informer - in fact, those were the exact words I was gonna use - but instead, could you make me the sarcastic hired goon? You know, the one the villain sends out to warn off/scare /rough up the private dick? Preferably with a broken nose and scars of some sort (but, you know, still reads Nietzsche and stuff)?
I’m not greedy - I’ll be an innocent bystander. I’m pretty innocent, and I’m good at standing around… And I can be mysterious, too, if it serves your purposes…
Hell, I can be anything - I just wanna be part of your story! Don’t make me beg…
Well, OK, I’ll beg a little <sad puppy-dog eyes>
I really enjoyed our LAST collaboration, hon, so I am in. And furthermore, I trust you, so you can do with me as you wish. Well, in the STORY, that is!
And I PROMISE not to hit you with any pies in this one, unless you write it into the script!
(Wow, did I just say that somewhere else? Naw,must be deja vu!)
Well, when OJ was on trial wasn’t there something about a pint of icecream, and how much it had melted, linking some sort of testimony about how long it had been since something happened? Not very clear there but the point is this. Incorporate some stale coffeecake ore rolls or whatever the victim liked to eat, and I’ll be the baker consulted for a forensic analysis of how long it took to get that way. I HAVE to be in this, and the only consulting field I would have much expertise in is my own job.
I could play the scary henchman that gets fed up with his evil boss and defects to the good side. Or I could just play a minion. I don’t think I could play a peon though. I don’t make a good cup of coffee.
Well, it’s good to see that people are interested! As the names came in last night, I started thinking of plot ideas, and I’ve got a basic skeleton, but nothing too major yet. As far as length is concerned, I’ll probably be posting one part as a time, since I can’t think of a way to condense it into just one post-sized story.
As for everyone who wanted parts, I’ll try to fit you in as best I can, but I can’t promise that everybody will get the role that they requested. I may have to take some artisitc liscence. Still, keep requests coming, cause I plan to have a veritable plethora of characters.
Oh, yes, and I definitely plan on putting the mods into the story, though I may have to e-mail them to ask. Though, if they felt like saving me time and posting here…
I’d be good as the wisecracking secretary, methinks. 