Cats Are....

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1
  • Cats do what they want, when they want.
  • They rarely listen to you.
  • They’re totally unpredictable.
  • They whine when they are not happy.
  • When you want to play they want to be left alone.
  • When you want to be alone, they want to play.
  • They expect you to cater to their every whim.
  • They’re moody.
  • They leave their hair everywhere.
  • They drive you nuts.

Conclusion: Cats are little, tiny women in cheap fur coats.

2

You’re lucky I like you, kid.

Oh, and you’re lucky I can’t flame worth a damn, either :smiley:

3

Those are not cheap coats!

My cats have very nice fur, thankyouverymuch.

Excuse me I have some shedding and whining to do.

4

They also consider themselves to be deities and objects of worship.

Hey! They really are little, tiny women in cheap fur coats!

::ducks and runs::

5

Balls of fur with claws.

6

They do a rubbish job at removing wallpaper too,
hey you’re right they really are like wimmins in cheap fur coats.

7

Cats have an elitist mentality. I know this because I frequently speak with them. Through thought.

Cool, no?

8

I’ve never heard my cats whine. The dog, however, whines almost as loud as my husband when he’s not happy!

Help me out here (add some more): Dogs are…

  • They whine when they are not happy.
  • They are always either sleeping, eating, or playing.
  • They scratch in public.
  • They don’t wipe their feet before coming in the house.
  • They sport wood at the slightest provocation.
  • When they are hungry, they expect you to feed them NOW!
  • They are completely unselfconscious about bodily functions

Conclusion: Dogs are big, slobbery men in smelly fur coats.

Ok, I’m a softy, I admit I love my dog and my man, but turnabout is fair play :stuck_out_tongue:

9

Cat’s suck!
…another correlation to women!

(Ducks, runs like hell, dodging high-heels all the way)

10

Fair enough, but why did I have to pay for the call? :smiley:

Ad Noctum, I think you’ve been hanging around (via ICQ) a certain degenerate poster too much. (The one that wanted bondage equipment from her Secret Santa)

Moreover, you’ve confused her with a puss…cat.

See how much better this reads:

*** Medea’s Child does what she wants, when she wants.

  • She rarely listens to you.
  • She’s totally unpredictable.
  • She whines when she’s not happy.
  • When you want to play she wants to be left alone.
  • When you want to be alone, she wants to play.
  • She expects you to cater to her every whim.
  • She’s moody.
  • She leaves her hair everywhere (and starts threads in GQ and MPSIMS about it).
  • She drives you nuts.

Conclusion: Medea’s Child is a cat!**
[/QUOTE]

:fleeing:

11

Hey!

I listen!

12

Scooze me, gotta go lick myself and lay out some new pukes on the carpet.

13

AWWW!! Poor kitty!! pet, pet

I know what’ll make you feel better (listen to this, then):

“Come on your ways;
open your mouth;
here is that
which will give language to you, cat:
open your mouth;
this will shake your shaking” :smiley:
–The Tempest, Act 2, Scene ii (emphasis added)

14

All I know is that they really like getting stroked.

15

The children of Satan, as you can see here:

http://homepage.mac.com/wiselp/morti.htm

But, much like the children of Satan, how can you not love them with all your heart?

16

I did not know Satan had children? Does Drain Bead know?

17

Cats are a pain in my ass.

Some jackass in the neighborhood has decided that she’ll feed all of the strays in town, so I constantly have anywhere between 6 - 66 cats around my house. Two got into my house once, so I plunked them with various household items and a BB gun. Damn cats. . .

Ever wondered why they call it a cat-apult? It’s for skeet and trap practice using the damn animals.

Tripler
“Pull!”

18 
Well, now we know why she pounces on people in threads, and her name fits...

…maybe we should call her Big Kat?

19

And this is a misogynist statement supposedly make by a biped.

My cats DO listen and come when I call for them.
When I want to play, they play and are affectionate.
My cats are NOT moody.
They do NOT drive me nuts.

Perhaps you just aren’t a cat person and thus they DON’T LIKE YOU.

And with the nastiness in this OP as well as the misogyny, this should be in the PIT.

20

ummm…

Hastur?-
uh, heh, that was meant for humorous value. I’ve got 2 cats, a 12 year old, and a 12 week old.
I love them dearly, but I thought that everyone here would think that it was funny too. Most people did. seems like you didn’t. sorry you didn’t.