Jude Law has done brief frontal nudity in at least two films (Wilde and Talented Mr. Ripley) and in neither did he seem particularly “gifted”. I’m wondering if it was laundry night and he had a roll of quarters or something.
Forrest Tucker and Milton Berle are the subjects of the “took out just enough to win” anecdote.
Shirley MacLaine filmed the movie Wrestling Ernest Hemingway with Richard Harris. In one scene a starkers Harris opens the door to see MacLaine on the other side- according to her (though admittedly this is a woman who thinks her dog is the reincarnation of Anubis) the first time they did this shot she couldn’t go on with the scene because she was mortified. “He could have pole vaulted with that &#$&ing thing!”
The most “Sweet Mother of Jesse Helms!” schlong I’ve ever seen on film was the aptly named Peter Firth’s in Equus. The thing was a foot long flacid… if he got excited he’d black out and so would those standing around him. There is no way in hell I’d ever want anything like that attached to or anywhere near my body.
On the “less than gifted” side, Mark McGrath and Enrique Iglesias have both attested to their “minimalist” tendencies. (I think for Enrique it was to explain why he had no visible wood in the [,according to rumor, staged] pics of him with Anna Kournikova.) Robin Williams was either very very brave or very very cold when he filmed Fisher King.
Of course some would never believe a gay man would make this comment, but I think the term “tool” is the best slang for that part of the anatomy as it is purely utilitarian rather than aesthetic- for true beauty you can’t do much better than a nice set of gams or a nice round boo-tay. I’ve never understood the big hoo-ha over big hoo-has, but I must admit it’s strangely interesting. (And in case you’re wondering, I’m solidly “middle class”.)