Well, it’s what happens when you combine finally getting a weekend away with a long distance partner and the untimely and unexpected arrival of your menstrual period. You improvise. I was touched, actually, just not in the way that counts.
How do you get suicidal and stay that way? 
(without being dead)
You will not only have to prolong your own streak, you’ll have to sabotage those of us who are ahead of you.
No intimate contact: about 2 1/2 years.
No sexual intercourse: about 5 years.
Reason for the former: lapse in time between breaking up with second serious girlfriend, and starting to get to that point with third serious girlfriend. (Dated several women in between there, but never got past a few kisses.)
Reason for the latter: never slept with girlfriend #2 (though we did everything else but).
You don’t have the motivation to actually kill yourself. Suicidal is by far not the lowest depths you can reach in depression. In fact, it’s quite common for recovering depressives to commit suicide if they are not properly watched. It’s how SSRIs are alleged to cause teen suicide. (And I know at least one person for whom I know this was the case.)
And while I can’t count myself for obvious reasons, I know several mentally healthy people who are virgins.
Pant pant pant… about 7 minutes…
Just kidding,
there was about a 1 yr stretch in my early 20’s, but after that the longest would have been a few weeks.
The 80’s were a pleasant blur for me…too bad I can’y recall most of them in greater detail…
somewhere around ten years, i think. i swore up and down to my GP when he diagnosed me with early menopause that the lack of sex triggered it. no hormones getting all exercised, and all that.
he said no. i still disagree with him. 
Doesn’t sexual contact of any kind count for you?
I might out live you although that’s very unlikely. But if I don’t out live you, I could a been a contenda.
By “sabotage”, I meant you could help me hook up, not kill me.
That’s why I made the distinction in my post. At that time, due mostly to religious reasons (and, perhaps, overly literal interpretation :D), the distinction was important to both my girlfriend and me. Yes, she and I had intimate contact. No, she and I did not have intercourse. (Gads, I’m suddenly talking like Bill Clinton!)
4 years. It’s not like I couldn’t get sex if I just wanted sex, but I’m just not interested in that.
TBH I think a lot of single people over about 25 go through prolonged dry spells and aren’t all that bothered about it. It’s not like on TV where someone who’s not obviously a horndog can have 3 serious relationships a year plus two one-night-stands and a few kisses and their friends are still teasing them about never getting a date.
Seven years.
I have a wimpy immune system, which means, even with barrier protection, I’m liable to get a generic infection. Also, I can’t seem find a drama-free relationship, sexual or romantic. Bad combo.
At one point, while at the doctor’s for my yearly exam, the nurse asked me if I was sexually active. I sighed sadly and said, “it’s been years since I’ve even seen a penis, let alone had fun with on.” Cracked the nurse up.
@phouka - my specialist (back when I could afford one) said that it’s caused from a shortened or kinked urethra.
I assume you mean UTI’s.
I too have that issue, which was stopped by taking one dose of Nitrofurantoin right before or after.
More then 5 years so far and counting.
Not that I don’t miss it, just that I’ve not found any woman stupid enough to want to be with me.
20 months, in the past, between wives.
To those of you who are content even with years of celibacy, more power to you. I am jealous.
To those of you who are able to rustle some up every couple of weeks (at worst)even when not married, I am even more jealous.
I only half mean that to sound glib.
I do feel terrible for people who want intimacy but cannot get it for years and years and years, if ever, for whatever reason. Hell, I want it more than I have gotten in either of my marriages, and a lack for a few weeks easily becomes a source of emotional stress for me. (Not “blue balls”… the physical need is easily addressed by myself; more an emotional feeling of rejection and not feeling valued.)
Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Not even cranberry pills and peeing right after helps. Should the prospect of a relationship pop up, I will be sure to ask my doc about Nitrofurantoin.
+1 on this.
I’d be curious on the breakdown of people who can (or have in the past) “get laid” vs. “that’s just not part of my experience”. (Forgive me, I’m just too lazy to start a poll…)
The longest I’ve gone is about 2-3 months.
God will give you strength and grace to abstain