Cereal Killers

What I like about boiled shredded wheat is that if you mix it with milk you can stir it into a slurry and drink it down, that way the lack of flavour isn’t an impediment…does that sound as gross as I think it does?

How To Eat Shredded Wheat The Traditional Way.

*Place one normal sized biscuit (of Shredded Wheat) in a bowl. Do not smash to pieces with a Spoon. If Gen. Mills had intended the Wheat to be eaten in this way, he would have arranged for his troops to jump up and down on the boxes prior to shipping.

Pour Honey on the biscuit, making sure the total surface area of the biscuit is covered. Add milk to just cover the biscuit (and Honey). From this point, timing is of the essence.

The biscuit is now semi-hard. Take a Spoon and cut off a portion of biscuit. Convey to mouth. Insert into mouth.

The semi-hardness of the biscuit combined with the Honey and Milk (and chewing) will make the biscuit soft to the palate. Delicious.*

To recap: it starts off hard, becomes semi-hard and then finally it is soft.

It’s a bit like fucking in Reverse.

You are so out of touch with the youth of today.

It would be a Sugar P. Diddy

Until you get to be my age. :frowning:

Nostradamus , consider youself lucky.

It has been 15 years since I have eaten Shredded Wheat. I loved the stuff. I always ate the 3, sometimes more. Now I live it Italy, and can’t find it.

Italy may be a land of gastronomic delights, and my wife is certainly an acclaimed cook, but there are many types of food which I miss badly: smoked haddock, real sausages(not salsicce), ordinary bread.

An idea for a thread: ex-pats, what do you miss?

(After 10 years, I finally found somewhere I could buy Baked Beans: a personal triumph)

Even when I try making a joke, I still end up being TwistofFate’s straight man. Thanks for keeping me in touch with the youth of today. :wink:

so now I’m some kind of an old geezer, I’d eat shredded wheat if I still had teeth.

The proper way to eat (and enjoy) Shredded Wheat biscuits is to dot them with butter, sprinkle them with garlic salt, and toast them in the oven for five or ten minutes.

So there.:stuck_out_tongue:

represses urge to ralph all over tisiphone’s suggestion (sorry, tisiphone)
eew. I used to have to eat those little bales of wheat string when was living with my parents. The way I enjoyed them most was according to this procedure:

  1. Obtain medium-sized breakfast bowl.
  2. place shredded wheat bale in center of bowl.
  3. Place 1 tsp. brown sugar onto bale. Rub in gently. Repeat until desired amount of sugar has been applied.
  4. Drizzle milk over bale and sugar, until sugar has migrated deep into the bale (Do not dissolve the sugar-just wet it)
  5. add milk around the edges of the bale-sugar complex.
  6. Using spoon, liberate a bite-sized chunk, masticate, and swallow.

You see, it’s all in the preparation of the sugar-pack it into the wheat, then rinse it down, ensuring that every bite has been flavored by the sugary goodness.

:slight_smile:

You all have it wrong. The proper way of enjoying shredded wheat is this:

  • Take box of Shredded Wheat
  • Throw box of Shredded Wheat in garbage
  • Pour Cocoa Puffs into bowl
  • Add milk
  • Eat and enjoy
  • Drink the chocolate milk that is left

Its just so easy.
Where’s my washboard?

:wink:

If you’re going to dump a mass of honey on the cereal anyway, why not go with the frosted mini-wheats? They are easier to choke down, promote a nice even morning sugar buzz and (to date) have not caused asphixiation to any loved ones.

What’s all this villfying General Mills? Isn’t Shredded Wheat made by Post (and by Nabisco before that)?

Perhaps you should try Cheerios, a true General Mills product. They have the advantage of No Sharp Corners, and they also offer Greater Control over Portion Sizes.

Methinks your hearty “Fuck You” is a bit misdirected.