Looking through my drawers, I see that I have five separate boxes of staples, all nearly full. Together they give me the theoretical ability to attach over 20,000 small stacks of paper. What I don’t seem to have is a stapler.
Looking in my pockets I see that I have two lighters. However, I seem to be out of cigars.
And yet, to judge from the Google ads at the bottom, there are plenty of people out there who think you need more. Context sensitivity only goes so far, it seems.
What are you doing with all those staples in your drawers? Doesn’t sitting down get prickly?
Milton, did someone take your stapler?
I think I need one of those Rapid Electric Staplers being advertised. It sounds like a ton o’ fun!
Here’s me with a nice leather tri-fold wallet.
All that’s missing is some cash…
Tapping my skull right here, I can sense that I have a brain. I know it’s mooshing and burbling around in there somewhere. However, I don’t have enough knowledge to fill it completely.
Isn’t it always the way?
No, it’s opposite for me. I have all this knowledge, about 3 gajillion metric shit-tons of it in these physics books right here points, and not enough brain to put it in.
Really? Maybe I could lend you some, part-time basis…
Looking in my closet, I notice that I have three pairs of shoes. Nevertheless, I have ten pairs of socks.
Let me know if this works, wouldja?
Okay. ‘La vie!’
I have a bunch of LPs and 45s … and haven’t had a turntable since '94.
Yes, I kniow I had a Swingline here somewhere. The Bostich used to bind up on me. I do, however, have staples for both freaking kinds. Lots of them.
I think I’ll burn down the building.
I got two cell phones, but nobody ever calls me. Ever. Maybe I should turn them on. . .
Slight thread drift: why do you have Gregory Charles’s website as your homepage, as you are apparently not a singer from Montreal, QC, Canada?
Just as a side note, having been working with French-speaking colleagues for many years, it was quite a while before I realized that Bostich was not actually the French word for staple. Avez-vous des bostich?
Did I miss something? How is he “apparently not” a singer from Montreal? 
I have two staplers right here on my desk, but there are no staples on the premisis. How I wish I had a staple.