LAN and Order: Adventures in IT
True Grim: John Wayne and others make frowny faces
The Shuning: A man and his family take on the task of replacing all the knives in a remote hotel.
Mayberry, BFD: tales of the people in a small, rural town who just don’t give a shit
Gomez Pyle: An illegal immigrant joins the Marines: penis ensues!
Have Gum, Will Travel: Juicy Fruit fast-draw expert Paladin helps gum poppers in need
The Twilight Bone: Science fiction porn
The Twilight Bone: The X-rated adventures of Bella, Edward and Jacob.
Hogan’s Run: “Nobody runs at Stalag 13!”
Bestworld: The programmers finally fix that glitch in the Yul Brynner model.
The Kong and I: A widow becomes the governess of a giant gorilla.
Gobzilla: Rush Limbaugh threatens Tokyo!
Into The Glue: Jessica Alba and Paul Walker try to stop drug dealers from sending their beloved horse to the knackers. Maybe. With that cast no one would pay attention to the plot anyway, so the writers didn’t spend much time on it.
No: When Ronna can’t pay her rent, none of her friends lifts a finger to help her. They just go to work as usual. Ronna crashes on their couches after being evicted.
Wonder Goys: A Jewish novelist gets through a difficult divorce with the help of a perky grad student and a bunch of Christian friends.
The Lore of the Ring - a thee-disc, nine-hours long documentary series on who created the Ring, the effects of wearing one, and how on earth Elvish is related to Finnish.
Inspector Gidget: A perky teenager solves crime thanks to her cybernetically implanted surfboard.
Grime: An obsessive compulsive detective discovers he has the power to see dirty people.
**The Incredible Bulk: ** A burst of radiation gives Dr. Banner an eating disorder. “Don’t make me hungry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry.”
The Mum Diary: the events of Oedipus Rex are transferred to 1960s Puerto Rico.
Now now, one does not simply DIAL M for MORDOR.
- Independence Cay: An international effort to stop an alien invasion ends up with a fierce fight on a small island.
- DEET Impact: That bug spray is going to destroy the world.
- The Glues Brothers: “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and our hands are still stuck together.”
Close Encounters of the Third Kink
(Another entry that pretty much writes itself.)
Carscape Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May review all the hot new Transport Pods, Farscape Modules, Peacekeeper Prowlers and other high performance spacecraft
Look for the ever popular “Critter in a reasonably priced Starship” section, and watch as The Stig wrings as much performance possible out of the latest Interstellar Transport devices
Some say his favourite breakfast food is Dilithium Crystals, and he’s the only thing that can escape from the gravity well of a black hole, all we know is, he’s called The Stig
Top Fear Clarkson, Hamster and Captain Slow discuss what really scares them this week
The Balking Dead Our heroes attempts to survive the Zombie Apocalypse are made easier because the Zombies have to stop and think if they really want to go ahead and eat flesh and Braaaiiinss anyway, thrilling Zombie killin’ action is replaced with even MORE pathos, angst, and navel gazing, but this time it’s the ZOMBIES that are doing it, all in moans and groans (in what passes for Zombie “language”)
The Baking Dead These zombies are too sophisticated and “cultured” to simply eat raw flesh, how COMMON!, everyzombie knows that human flesh MUST be properly spiced, seasoned and prepared before consumption…
The Rocking Dead The remains of Jerry Garcia and his band walk the earth in search of human flesh, but not just any human flesh, these zombies only eat Hippies and Stoners
A little fudged, but…
Under the Tusken Sun: A woman’s Italian vacation is ruined when Sandpeople attack.
The Big Wang Theory
Mothbusters A weekly show exploring various methods of flying insect control.
One For The Honey A recently unemployed Jersey girl takes a job at her cousin’s honey processing plant, and lands in several sticky situations with two equally hot men.
Louse: Not surprisingly the show hasn’t changed at all.
Mouse: A crotchedy cartoon mouse cures cartoon characters of cartoon diseases.
Apocalypso Now: Harry Belafonte’s movie debut