How Green was my Volley - The story of a poor young English lad’s journey from a Welsh mining community to Wimbledon.
BASSketball - A modern retooling of The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh.
Carnie - The horrifying story of Wilson Phillips’ first gig at a school dance.
The Rove Boat - After his administration is voted from office, the Senior Advisor must choose between a FoxNews talk show or captaining a Filipino fishing trawler stocked with a wacky crew. Guess which one he chose?
Babylon 4 In the interest of promoting interstellar peace, the galaxies largest and nicest golf course is constructed in a massive space station. Differences are worked out and mutual trust and respect are gained as various species play rounds of golf together and share food and drink the clubhouse. All is going well until Rodney Dangerfield blatantly cheats in the annual tournament, royally pissing off the Vorlons. Interstellar war breaks out. Buy the directors cut if you want to see the famous but originally deleted scene involving the universal species bathroom stall, the loveable character Vir, and a discarded Mars bar.
Great thread! Funny stuff, all around.
Mine:
Beverly Hills Fop: A Detroit cop transfers to L.A. in order to pursue the crooks that killed his “partner”. Starring Jim J Bullock.
Dive With Regis And Kathy Lee: Popular talk-show hosts demonstrate oral sex techniques.
Had Men: Harvey Fierstein’s auto biographical monologue.
A Few Good Mes: Mad scientist goes on a self-cloning spree.
Sci-Fi silliness:
Quatermass And The Zit: A British scientist deals with an invasive blemish.
Flake’s 7: A really wishy-washy space captain leads a group of rebels against the oppressive government.
Slash Gordon: Saviour of the universe, and serial killer.
Wife On Mars: A modern-day London cop gets in a car accident and wakes to find himself married to an alien.
Stargame SG-1: A group of misfits use an inter-dimensional portal to play a long distance game of volleyball.
Spade 1999: Ex-SNL star David Spade reminisces about when he had a career.
The Biotic Woman: Chicks raving about their favourite new yogurt.
The Otters: A young woman finds she has the ability to perceive dead rodents.
The Six Million Dollar Fan: The Sharper Image catalogue is getting out of control.
Torchwool: Alien entities invade Wales and set fire to sheep.
True Flood: Vampires in the U.S. South are wiped out when a hurricane breaks the levees.
Cringe: Cowardly F.B.I.agents investigate paranormal occurrences.
Thanks,
thwartme
Just thought of another one.
The Black Pole
But I’ll let people fill in their own descriptions according to taste.
Don Air: The Mafia, in the sky!
Meet the Fuckers: Porn documentary.
The DaVinci Lode: People from all walks of life study the late inventors works to discover clues to the whereabouts of his fabulous hidden treasure. Hilarity(mostly unintentional) tries to ensue with mixed results.
Children of the Porn: All that barebacking has consequences.
Viagara: A woman plots to kill her husband with an erection lasting more than four hours.
Bars: Pixar movie starring David Hasselhoff and Dean Martin as two barflies.
Doctor Woo: Doctor Phil becomes a Time Lord.
Law & Order SUV - Detectives and Lawyers fight crime in Gas Guzzling Vehicles.
RAS*H - Dermatologists fight pimples and skin diseases in Korea.
The Mary Tyler Moose Show - Tyler and Mary get married live with Moose in Minnesota.
It’s a Wonderful Wife — watch what Mary Bailey does for George every time a bell rings.
It’s a Wonderful Line — George wonders what life would have been like if he’d never spent all the bank’s money on cocaine.
It’s a Wonderful Lift — George learns that heaven is really just an elevator in England that doesn’t play Muzak.
The Crying Lame–Lorena Bobbit takes care of the entire male cast. The only one not crying is Dil.
Pawn Stats: The not-very-exciting adventures of the store’s auditor as he goes over the books.
Saturday Night Dive: A bunch of young comedians perform comedy in a seedy bar.
Ocean’s 913: Extremely complicated heist drama, with enough thieves involved to ensure that nobody will get very much when the loot is divided.
Doomtown: people who used to be cops, lawyers, doctors etc deal with their lives going to complete shit.
Without a Brace: A young accident & injury lawyer tries to stay principled, and advises her clients not to trump up bogus charges to bilk rich people out of money.
Soul Foot: A boy from a large and loving African American family tells the tale of how one uncle’s involvement in the music industry pushed the family to the brink once he wass injured and could no longer be one of the Soul Train dancers.
Cooch: The wacky coworkers of a horndog PE teacher play havoc with his attempts to break Wilt Chamberlain’s record.
The Blair Bitch Project - A revealing behind the scenes look at the cast of The Facts of Life.
Dial M for Mordor: A dark lord makes plans to kill his wife, but has to switch to plan B…
Yeah, I cheated a little on this one.
Dance Dance Resolution: Thoroughly sick of the gridlock in congress, a president comes up with a radical solution - instead of voting endlessly on bills, democrats and republicans will have dance offs to determine outcomes. Several young and hip celebrities are voted into office, making politics suddenly the hottest game in town.
[ul]
[li]*Slack Swan: *a ballet dancer who sucks and doesn’t get picked for the troupe[/li][li]Silence of the iambs: the movie script re-written entirely in trochaic pentameter[/li][li]*Night Club: *Fight Club, without the fighting[/li][li]*Wight Club: *an undercover reporter’s KKK documentary[/li][li]*Requiem for a Cream: *Jennifer Connelly’s porn scene from the last 5 minutes of the movie, drawn out into 2 hours. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t line up to see that![/li][li]Harry Pooter and the Chamber of Secrets: Clearly also porn. Using older actors, of course.[/li][li]Twilight: New Poon: Kristin whatshername porn. She’s legal.[/li][li]Beauty and the Breast: Disney hentai[/li][li]*Willy Wanka and the Chocolate Factory: *British porn[/li][li]Fill Bill: gay David Carradine porn[/li][li]*Pulp Friction: *porn porn porn[/li][li]*Win City: *the polar opposite of Sin City. Everybody is happy and shit all the time[/li][li]Never Been Dissed: A hot chick who’s never been turned down wonders what it would be like, so she goes Hollywood-ugly to find out.[/li][li]Dogme: Dogma remake, in Dogme 95 style[/li][li]*Caturday Night Live: *basically this in television form[/li][li]Saturday Night Love: group porn[/li][li]Saturday Night Lime: a Food Network show about mixed drinks, and liquor appreciation in general[/li][li]*Monty Python and the Frying Circus: *pretty much Unwrapped performed by the *Monty Python *cast (instead of the Double Dare guy)[/li][li]Looney Tunas: a sushi show? I think there’s enough material there for a season or 2[/li][li]*Turner and Cooch: *more porn[/li][li]*10 Year Old Virgin: *not remarkable in the slightest[/li][li]*Dodgebull: *Vince Vaughan participating in “the running of the bulls” for 2 hours straight, along with the other idiots, then they all die from exhaustion at the end:cool:[/li][li]Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Creamcoat: gay gangbang porn[/li][/ul]
This reminds me of those movies where the evil developers plans to demolish the orphanage can somehow only be thwarted by a skateboarding competition.