Chick is at it again. Haw, Haw

“And Omar was saved… and immediately transformed into a white, Anglo-Saxon Protestant.”

If Chick is running true to form, he probably meant that they were [shudder] Catholics!

If Chick is running true to form, he probably meant that they were [shudder] Catholics!

You mean, those people who worship the Death Cookie?

Alberto should be able to handle this malarky.

“I wouldn’t help you if you were beaten up…You’re an infidel!”

I wonder if Jack Chick has ever actually met a Muslim?

Oooooh-kay. As a mastubatory hobby I sometimes browse Chick tracts but I’ve never notices any oral sex innuendos. Care to enlighten me?

I assume you mean as a hobby to kill time, as opposed to actual, literal masterbation…

Chick’s written a special message about Islam explaingin the lastest tract: he did it to save us from fundamentalist terrorism.

I particularly like this bit:

They’re leading us astray with their unholy convenient opening hours!

Those fiends - their diabolical cunning knows no limits.

If Catholics worship the Death Cookie, will the Chick-meister come out with a tract claiming that the Nation of Islam worships the Death Bean Pie?


This is almost disappointing in its lack of nuttiness. Sure, it’s offensive, but it’s missing that certain special brand of insanity that makes reading Chick tracts so pleasurable. This one gets a very poor grade in my book, probably a D-.

The one part that did impress me was that Jesus speaks in parentheticals. His message is “God (not Allah) loves you.” That is absolutely brilliant, and I look forward to hearing more from Jesus on future occasions. It’s especially entertaining if you imagine the message delivered in the big, booming “God voice” –

THIS IS JESUS, I HAVE A MESSAGE FROM GOD (not Allah). IT’S VERY IMPORTANT (you in the back, stop with the nose-picking) SO LISTEN UP (I’m really serious this time). STOP PUBLISHING TRACTS THAT EMBRACE RELIGIOUS INTOLERANCE (this means you, Jack ol’ buddy, ol’ pal) IN MY NAME, IN GOD’S NAME, OR IN THE NAME OF A RANDOM MOON GODDESS (in other words, just freaking stop already). THANK YOU FOR YOUR PROMPT ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.

You know, some of those tracts are translated into Arabic. As Arab Christians also use the Arabic word “Allah” for God, I wonder how the King of Liars has had his minio…er, employees translate that message. It’d be kind of funny to see “God (not God) loves you.”

:smack: Damn the SDMB policy of not being able to edit one’s own posts, damn it all to hell!

Reading letters to Penthouse aside I’ve always considered ordinary masturbation to be an illiterate pastime, you just need the pictures. For the record amusing myself with Chick tracts and loping the mule remain mutually exclusive activities.

Still doesn’t anwser my questions.

There’s way too much clarification about the fact that you DON’T masturbate to chick tracts.

I think you’re hiding something.

Still, the best parody of Chick has to be the one Adam Thrasher (of Spacemoose fame) did.

 As others have told you Jack Chick depicts true Christians as "Hell Fire inflicting fanatics." That's why this one was so tame. In the past some unsaved person such as a Catholic, Jew, Muslim, Atheist, Buddhist, Wiccan, or someone who celebrates Halloween would die and we would see them burning in Hell. "This Was Your Life." is my favorite tract! Some guy dies, God makes him watch a movie of his entire ungodly life, and then God has an angel cast the man into Hell! Funny stuff!


Here is a great Chick parody:

The Little Ghost

White Wolf Games Studio managed to combine Chick Tract Parody with clever marketing with: Demonic Deviltry on their site, which while set up to look like a church’s web page, is actually an advertisement for their latest World of Darkness pen & paper tabletop RPG, Demon: The Fallen.

Fans of the real Chick Tract Dark Dungeons will spot the obvious similarities.