Ah Ryan_Liam, I felt just like you when I was in my late teens/early twenties. I so wanted to know where all the good guys where and how in the hell I was supposed to meet them?!! I mean, I lived in a pretty small town (where everyone my own age had pretty much vacated for college), worked at a business with all older married men and my hobby, softball, didn’t lend itself to anything but mostly over-hyper, insensitive jock types. To add insult to injury, it seemed that if I did come across a decent fellow, I didn’t stand a chance and he was attracted to some fluzzy (my own short comings and insecurities, notwithstanding ;)). So I definitely know where you are coming from.
You know what everyone always told me? That I was trying too hard. That it would happen with time and when I least expected it/wasn’t looking for it. And you know what else? They were completely right. When I became more comfortable with myself, when I started enjoying life for whatever it simply was (versus looking for an SO), and when I went, oh, well, THEN I met my husband. Much, much better than all the forced dating I was doing prior to that as well. He was definitely worth the wait and settling myself down for. Sadly, you’ll only be able to do this when you feel it inside. Sucks, I know, but there’s just no other way 'round to it. It will happen though. I promise.
So in conclusion, you’ll be there before you know it. Hang in there and, when the time does come (as cryptic that pathetically sounds), it’ll be awesome. And you will be great. There’ll be some wonderful girl who’ll be absolutely bowled over by the nice guy that is you. You watch.
Actually, Adman, I have some rather serious advice for you, although whether you’ll take it from me, who knows. If you have been having a problem with women lying there like “dead fish”, it could be for one or more of several reasons unrelated to whether or not the woman’s a virgin. From what I know of women who have been sexually abused, lack of responsiveness is one possible reaction. I’ll let someone else who knows more about it explain the psychology behind it. Another possibility is, I’m afraid, that your technique may be lacking. This is not meant as an insult, but another possible explanation. From what I’ve seen of you, you’re not that much of an expert on human sexuality, and some women would find the attitude you’ve expressed toward women discouraging. It also comes across as selfish. If you’re selfish in your posting style, it suggests to me that you’re likely to be selfish in bed. Basically, you come across as so focused on your own orgasm that you may not be aware that some of us are not only capable of having more than one, we’re capable of giving gentlemen more than one, too.
Ryan Liam, do hang in there. Check out the recent threads on Do’s and Don’t’s for dating – rudeness was pretty much a don’t for everyone. I’m someone who won’t date someone who isn’t nice, but has backed off from guys who are “too nice.” In this case, what I meant by that was “They were doormats.” Don’t make a woman the center of your world on your first date or when you first meet her. Don’t lie on your back and let her walk all over you. I know I need a man with a bit of spirit, one who can stand up to me. I don’t want someone who’ll worship at my feet; I want someone who’ll stand by my side.
First-Adman, get out. Seriously. If you’re going to refer to people as “shitty virgins”, then why the hell would they want to have sex with you?
And on the “nice guy” bit-any guy who starts ranting about this majorly trips my suspicions. I’ve heard too many guys whine about being “nice” when they were actually manipulative, passive-aggressive doormats.
How about nice girls who know how to be sexually aggressive when it’s appropriate and also know how to let you know they want you to be the aggressor?
Unfortunately, that would require that they get to know you, Adman, which mercifully seems not to be the case. There goes my scheduled 9:00 “Weep for womankind”.
Well said - and, my, what a big post count you have, Guinastasia!
I’m very new to the board, and as a general rule, tend to choose my battles wisely. However, I personally wonder if the OP has ever said, directly to a woman’s face: “Put out or get out.” My response to that (and I’m no virgin) would be “Fuck off, and go jerk off.”
Tell me this? Why waste money to go home and jerk off?? And why marry someone who’s never had sex? Ryan, you seem like a cool guy, but chics will walk all over you, take your money and screw your best friend if you don’t show them who’s boss. Here you go… Be nice but don’t let the bitchy one’s get too close. Babydollski… Go back to your little radio station board with all the other losers and go make fun of the people there, seeing how you are no good at it. And finally for those who actually have a set of balls, the key to getting the booty is when the chic doesn’t know you’re moving in and not speaking informally like I always do when I’m away from them. If you know how to push their buttons, you’ll never get played or waste your time with a sexual retard. Out.
Hey Ryan. I’m a sixteen-year-old girl and I haven’t dated yet either. Why? I’d say it’s because I like nice guys and there are too few of them out there. My current crush is third in his class, on math team, in the IB program, recipient of an award for character, and one of the nicest people (male or female) that I’ve met. Unfortunately, he’s also a friend of my brother’s and about to go off to college - so not really any possibility there. Anyway, I certainly don’t prefer bad guys. I don’t know how you act IRL, but I have to say that the massive generalization about girls is not terribly attractive and makes for an unfavorable comparison to the “bad guys” you are railing against.
He was definitely worth the wait and settling myself down for. Sadly, you’ll only be able to do this when you feel it inside. Sucks, I know, but there’s just no other way 'round to it. It will happen though. I promise.